Real Life ~ This Day

March 24th 2010.

Yes, this is today and it will not return tomorrow.

Today is like a mini break. I still do feel tired at school, I still suffer from hives, I still have tons of homework to finish, I still cannot master the slur on violin perfectly and everything. Plus, I even had to do extra cleaning for my room. Remember I told you readers about how the stupid air-conditioner broke down? Yeah, well, I will get on to that later. xD

I still could not get to befriend or call a truce with those girls I hated and my Chinese class teacher came. Hives also appeared on my face but what kept me content and controlled today were my feelings. No matter how I should be screaming my head off today or anything, I just never did. And that is tanks to the way I feel: Calm.

It has been very long since I've felt calmed. It makes me feel better. I can say that the main cause of hives is almost solved. That would be anxiety causing it all. Let's see, this should give you confused readers a clearer understanding.

Kindergarten Years
Innocent, foolish, naive, energetic, cheerful

Elementary School Years
Innocent -> foolish -> naive -> Anxiety -> gradually weaker & tired -> Anger -> stress & pressure

Secondary School Years
Anxiety -> Shocked -> Surprised -> Naive -> Heartbreak -> Anger -> Depression -> Stress & pressure -> Emotions gradually unstable

See? OK, now I am going to explain it even more clearer to you all so you get why I summarized it.

Alrighty, starting with kindergarten years, like any of us children, we were all innocent. We believed in almost everything and even when we were proved wrong, we still believe. We were still young, we have less worries so therefore, we remained cheerful.

Elementary school years? Standard 1, still innocent as we just came out of the kindergarten and as we go higher up, growing every single day, we have more things to fear and worry about. Come on, exams and all, things are becoming a bit more hectic and because of that, we can no longer pretend house and play tag. We have to focus and start tolerating many others' attitudes we dislike.

Now coming to where I am currently in, secondary school years. NOT a very good start. It started with me worrying I could not get into any schools. Then I worry I could not get into any classes. Then I worry I was gonna be changed to another class when the school announced that they are opening 2 more classes. Then I worry about getting along with people and try not to be as geeky as when I was in elementary school. Shocked when I found out who were my real friends and who were traitors. Surprised as I found some things out. I was naive and still am. xD Heartbroken... That came in many ways. My family involved and everything happening in school. BOTH came to me at the SAME time. I was angry very often and then came depression. Now that part is no joke. Some of you should know and still remember, I was desperate for death. I could not face life. I did not create goals. I now wonder why didn't I create any goals and stop leading myself into foolish situations. Stress and pressure really are the best of friends. They seem to like coming hand in hand. Lol. Yes, when I say emotions are gradually becoming unstable, I mean it and that's what I am going through now. Do not see this as a light matter. Even though this is normal for teenagers, whether a girl or a boy, if one does not handle it the right way, then something bad will happen. Death may happen as well.

Lol, I forgotten why I suddenly tell you all this. xD But anyways, I just haven't felt so calm for a long time. This feeling is like a stranger to me but I still recognize it. It's just like my long lost friend. LOL.

Yes, I admit I still got mad at school. And yes, I still got annoyed at home. Thankfully, this feeling saved me from breaking down.

Aha, as promised, I will talk about the air-conditioner. Lol. xD

The guy was stinky, no offense, even though I've not seen him, but he is. And there were evidences. First, came home after lunch with dad to find mom mopping the floors, it turned out the guy did not take off his socks and it was dirty, all black and left a small hanging for hours even after my bath. Wait, that is not the end of it. He, of course went to my room to fix the air-con. As expected, the table was being stepped on and there were mysterious liquids on my table and including the items on the table. I mean, the items on my table got wet as well. Then, also as expected, there were dusts everywhere. My windows looked like they were opened and they were not closed properly.

Wait again! This is also NOT the end! =P He used my bathroom. You may think this was not a big deal but since it is one of my favorite room as mentioned from the previous post, it does matter a whole lot to me. If he took care of cleanliness well, I would not be kicking up such a fuss as to write this out. The whole toilet bowl was dirty, not that he stood on it or anything but the ... "Big Business" stuck on parts of it. The dark coloured urine still there. I know he flushed but it was such an incredible business that he could not even hide the evidence. Or maybe he didn't bother. Not only that, he used the water hose and it was not put back properly. The whole bathroom stank like shit, and I mean this LITERALLY. I had to take my bath downstairs, which by then, I realize the smell still hung even after he left.

My parents and I cleaned the whole house like on every Saturdays. Just that I only cleaned my room. I still haven't transferred the things I put away in case they were messed up if they were left on the table back yet.

I will do that when I feel like it and will do more sorting out while I am at it.

Gosh, he actually wrecked the house. Not like he bombed the whole place but his cleanliness did.

Oh well, blaming him would have put me in the wrong and seen as the bad guy so I will not say I blamed him.

Hey, he really worked hard to survive. His schedule is packed. How on Earth could he find time to stay long in bath though I suppose most guys do not take a thorough bath as much as girls do. Honestly, do not deny. I cannot say ALL guys are like that. So quit accusing me of being a sexist now. It's the fact anyway. >.>

We girls are much more annoyed easily. We can be hard to handle. We can be unfair to you guys. But look, it's thanks to girls you're here too.

Anyways, I better shut it before I really DO go on sexist mode! LOL.

That's all there is to say and bye, everyone.

Take care and Have fun. (Man, I get tired of typing this sentence!)