Real Life ~ HORRIBLE Start Of School

Today's just not my day. Let's see, last night could not have enough sleep and then woke up in the middle of the night and by the time could get to snooze, the stupid alarm clock rang. I grumbled and got ready. I truly wanted to sleep on the sofa before going to school and in the car while on the way to school but... I could NOT. Because I know that I will have to wake up after that. =[

I could not sleep on the bench either because there are students around and I do NOT want to be caught off guard. T.T

Gosh, The assembly sucked like hell. I sat in front and, the main reason that's been making me in a bad mood from the start is thanks to hives. I couldn't sleep because I could not resist scratching and feel the skin contracting. In school, the hives spread everywhere. My forehead, my both arms, my legs. Gosh. I did not take the pill. I decided to only take it when it appears right at the visible part of the face. It's that time when I CANNOT calm down because I will start feeling guilty and look down on myself a lot.

I got teased in school by the idiots. Sadly, they are not THAT stupid. T.T Why, this world is getting ridiculously MORE unfair than it should be!

Finally I got home feeling relieved. Oh wait, after lunch and bath, the horror didn't end there. It STARTED as well. By the way, my form teacher had to go for a surgery and would not be returning until the end of next month. I wish I can have a rest like her but maybe an excuse to check for mental, emotional and physical problems. I SWEAR there is SOMETHING wrong. Definitely something wrong with my head.

I could not take the stress from the school homework. Even by 4:42PM, I should be practising the violin already. Unfortunately, my mom thought I meant that she should explain how the Survival Skills thingy work. I was standing up getting ready to go to the violin when my mom thumped the STUPID text book on the table. My mind was like, exhausted and going "WTF!". I sat back down holding back tears.

She half explain, half nagged and half scolded. Well, actually, she can do ALL at once. @.@

I even had to rush to eat dinner in case I am late for BM tuition. I only had a few minutes to read manga after the dinner.

In BM tuition, I was goddamn tired that I almost fell asleep. It was so tempting to sleep right away, you know? Just one simple shut of eye lids and let the thing end that way. In fact, not sure whether wanna wake up anymore.

Oh, which reminds me during school hours, my chest suddenly had a very bad pain and I grabbed it immediately. Thank God it didn't last so long. Just that one sudden pain and then I could let go. During BM tuition, I could not breathe because chest pain again. >.< This is insane.

When I got back home, I thought I could finally get the slur right on the violin when my mom led me to the table to correct some work. I felt guilty after doing them but just went ahead for violin practice.

I must say, my mood is so bad I could not get the 3 whole songs right. Not even after playing those sad songs to suit my mood and cheer myself up. I played it on piano and finally let the tears out. I didn't bother keeping it silent anymore. My violin also got wet from tears... I practised. I know it's not enough. The slur is VERY hard. I should be playing 1 song over and over until I get EVERY note and slur right. Then move on to next song but time forbid me to do so. I got to play the violin only at 9+PM. I have to sleep at 10:30PM. I need to sleep at 10PM today because I lacked of sleep.

Now's 10PM already. Gtg.

Bye. No bad comments to ruin mood please. My personalities change drastically when school is back.

Just let sleeping dogs lie. I have no where else to complain anymore.