Real Life ~ On & Off

That performance is suddenly on and suddenly off; suddenly exciting and suddenly boring/depressing.

xD

Fickle minded, we are. I know I am the main problem now because I am the one who can't stay back after school for practice and the one who can't go to friends' house for practice.

They cannot come to my house either because it is further from them. =[

I really do not know what to do. I really have no idea how to pull this through.

But... I know that it will somehow end up right in the end. I can sense that. Surely it's either no performance or there is, but I know it will be OK in the end, whether it worked out or not.

By then, I only hope that I did not hurt anyone's feelings.

I am also a problem to them because my counting sucks when it comes to notes. This is not something I can use a stopwatch or calculator to solve. >.<

I am also a problem to them because I have no courage to ask my mom about it ever since she commented on my violin playing. Not only that, I also can't bring my violin to school AND, I cannot attend the audition because it is on the 26th of April AFTER SCHOOL. ARGH! This is all my fault + idea yet I am the one who can't do most of the stuff. This is stupid.

I wish I am a prodigy... T.T So smart and talented that no one can prove me wrong. So smart and talented that I am allowed to do whatever I want. Yes, selfish. Yes, impossible.

Up until now, I do not really know my true talent and whether the talent is useful.

All I do now is to try to find out about it. I know my piano and violin playing can be OK but not as amazing as everyone else because I did not put much effort in piano in the past and I started violin late.

I cannot always understand people well and to be honest, I lack of common sense. Dx

But for lacking that, there has gotta be something I have that is extra good right...? Lolz.

Anyways, gonna go for violin practice since today barely made 1 hour.

Tomorrow gonna practise more because after tomorrow is Saturday. xD