Thanks to MapleStory, there's this new job called "Evan" under mage/magician category. I like it at first but then it became a pot guzzler. It sure consumes a lot and my MP is like constantly empty! That's how I got depressed thinking of how everything will be in the future if I really bother continuing.
Because of this new job thingy going on in Maple, I haven't been bothered with online-ing on MSN to chat with friends.
Was lazy to blog but instead of wasting any MORE pots in maple, I decided to take this chance to blog! xD Lol.
Restaurant City still playing. xD But getting really lazy. Oh well, I know I am fickle-minded. That's a fact and it will not change until maybe one day. xD
Violin practice this morning was good. I have no school today because in Malaysia, it's Wesak Day and for Buddhists, we are supposed to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Buddha. =D xD Well, I only took the opportunity to revise and practice violin though I didn't get a second practice since I got a lil' bit tired.
I could not believe how I got the energy to practise a second time for about an hour the last time. Not to forget, I played worse in the past. I have no idea what made me have the energy to play second time those days. xD I guess that if it weren't for those second practices in the past, I would not be where I am now. I would probably be stuck at the same first book. Oh well, thank God. That's all I can say and when I said God, I meant thank every kind of God out there.
My mom just told me how Malaysia is getting worse and that there's this scary prediction that in the year 2019, Malaysia might go bankrupt if they continue with this subsidy thingy.
Remember how I was always desperate to get out of my country in order to find a place that speaks pure English? When I really gave a thought about leaving the country, I could cry. I would miss Malaysia, I guess. After all, I have spent my 15 years here and there's more years waiting for me to spend. I would miss seeing all these people I see everyday whether I know them or hate them or not.
If I went to another country, I only worry that others will be a racist and their bully cases are much more serious than the ones in our country. T.T I do not know whether I can even become a psychologist out there if they hate my race or whatever. If they hate me a lot, how are they supposed to speak to me and let me know their problems? How am I supposed to help them then? =(
Life would be much harder that way and I would not be able to know a lot about their festivals and celebration.
Mom told me that if I really could go to another country, she told me to NEVER return and to wait for her and dad to join me. The thinking of having to never go back to see them while I am at another country scares me. Won't that mean that I am completely and utterly ALONE? I know I am a loner type of person but to not be with mom and dad when I have no job to rely on yet is gonna sway my confidence BIG TIME.
Yes, I and always depending on others no matter how hard I am trying to be independent now.
Sigh, bye. xD
Just gonna live my life as it is now since thinking of future is scary.
Take care and have fun to those of you out there reading this.
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