Thanks to MapleStory, there's this new job called "Evan" under mage/magician category. I like it at first but then it became a pot guzzler. It sure consumes a lot and my MP is like constantly empty! That's how I got depressed thinking of how everything will be in the future if I really bother continuing.
Because of this new job thingy going on in Maple, I haven't been bothered with online-ing on MSN to chat with friends.
Was lazy to blog but instead of wasting any MORE pots in maple, I decided to take this chance to blog! xD Lol.
Restaurant City still playing. xD But getting really lazy. Oh well, I know I am fickle-minded. That's a fact and it will not change until maybe one day. xD
Violin practice this morning was good. I have no school today because in Malaysia, it's Wesak Day and for Buddhists, we are supposed to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Buddha. =D xD Well, I only took the opportunity to revise and practice violin though I didn't get a second practice since I got a lil' bit tired.
I could not believe how I got the energy to practise a second time for about an hour the last time. Not to forget, I played worse in the past. I have no idea what made me have the energy to play second time those days. xD I guess that if it weren't for those second practices in the past, I would not be where I am now. I would probably be stuck at the same first book. Oh well, thank God. That's all I can say and when I said God, I meant thank every kind of God out there.
My mom just told me how Malaysia is getting worse and that there's this scary prediction that in the year 2019, Malaysia might go bankrupt if they continue with this subsidy thingy.
Remember how I was always desperate to get out of my country in order to find a place that speaks pure English? When I really gave a thought about leaving the country, I could cry. I would miss Malaysia, I guess. After all, I have spent my 15 years here and there's more years waiting for me to spend. I would miss seeing all these people I see everyday whether I know them or hate them or not.
If I went to another country, I only worry that others will be a racist and their bully cases are much more serious than the ones in our country. T.T I do not know whether I can even become a psychologist out there if they hate my race or whatever. If they hate me a lot, how are they supposed to speak to me and let me know their problems? How am I supposed to help them then? =(
Life would be much harder that way and I would not be able to know a lot about their festivals and celebration.
Mom told me that if I really could go to another country, she told me to NEVER return and to wait for her and dad to join me. The thinking of having to never go back to see them while I am at another country scares me. Won't that mean that I am completely and utterly ALONE? I know I am a loner type of person but to not be with mom and dad when I have no job to rely on yet is gonna sway my confidence BIG TIME.
Yes, I and always depending on others no matter how hard I am trying to be independent now.
Sigh, bye. xD
Just gonna live my life as it is now since thinking of future is scary.
Take care and have fun to those of you out there reading this.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Real Life ~ Sigh Of Relief For A Moment But Stuck Midway
Yeah, I sighed for a moment because I did an exercise on indices to try to understand it once more for the exams and big exam. But why I stop midway? It's all thanks to the upcoming exam and also the big exam. I still cannot sigh yet. I have more to memorize and that means I will be forgetting much more other things too if I just learned something big and new. That's the problem with me. My 'memory card' is really limited and it's not like I can choose what I want to keep or leave out in the head! xD
Violin practice not very well even though about 1 hour and 10/15 minutes. No way... After the near 2 hours violin practice yesterday I actually got worse? At least I am still fast but my left arm ached more today because my friend hit me again. Damn. Lol. After the left arm stop hurting, the right one did. I was freaking out and in the end, I stood in front of the electric fan playing. Seriously, I was still sweating with the fan in front.
I am trying not to freak out too much over violin when my studies are even more worth screaming about. xD Lol. I will somehow work these songs out. I will...!
Just gotta stop getting hurt. Now I know what musicians mean when they say not to hurt your arms when your instrument involves them. xD Mine got so tired real fast and I had this strong urge to just let of of whatever I was holding. If I did that, it's gonna be the end of my violin.
Here's a funny yet awkward thing happening recently, so far 2 teachers mistaken my friend and I for being lesbians. LOL. That's all I can say. I hated how dirty minded they are and for even mentioning. I pretended that I do not hear a thing but my mind was noisy with buzzes of things I would have wanted to fire back at them.
I knew that what my friend did was pretty easy to think negatively of but she just does it even though she knows what others may think of. I always try to avoid but it never works. =/
Oh well, at least I know she is NOT a lesbian and neither am I. xD Ha ha.
Alrighty, I gotta jet.
Have been busy with revisions and stuff that I only had 30 minutes of onlining today. Consider it lucky for me that I can still blog. xD
Bye. Take care and have fun~!^^
Violin practice not very well even though about 1 hour and 10/15 minutes. No way... After the near 2 hours violin practice yesterday I actually got worse? At least I am still fast but my left arm ached more today because my friend hit me again. Damn. Lol. After the left arm stop hurting, the right one did. I was freaking out and in the end, I stood in front of the electric fan playing. Seriously, I was still sweating with the fan in front.
I am trying not to freak out too much over violin when my studies are even more worth screaming about. xD Lol. I will somehow work these songs out. I will...!
Just gotta stop getting hurt. Now I know what musicians mean when they say not to hurt your arms when your instrument involves them. xD Mine got so tired real fast and I had this strong urge to just let of of whatever I was holding. If I did that, it's gonna be the end of my violin.
Here's a funny yet awkward thing happening recently, so far 2 teachers mistaken my friend and I for being lesbians. LOL. That's all I can say. I hated how dirty minded they are and for even mentioning. I pretended that I do not hear a thing but my mind was noisy with buzzes of things I would have wanted to fire back at them.
I knew that what my friend did was pretty easy to think negatively of but she just does it even though she knows what others may think of. I always try to avoid but it never works. =/
Oh well, at least I know she is NOT a lesbian and neither am I. xD Ha ha.
Alrighty, I gotta jet.
Have been busy with revisions and stuff that I only had 30 minutes of onlining today. Consider it lucky for me that I can still blog. xD
Bye. Take care and have fun~!^^
Monday, May 24, 2010
Real Life ~ Conclusion About Maths Made
I just came to a conclusion: Innocent people are somehow better at Maths. I am surprised and I hate to say this but, I am not innocent enough to be good at Maths. xD
OK fine, as a teenager to you adults out there, I am still considered very innocent but you know what? MAYBE, just MAYBE I have already uncovered the truth of what you adults have yet to uncover. >=D Muahahaha. xD Anyways, I am starting to find those freakishly innocent people at the age of 15 and above very ANNOYING. They are so damn innocent and naive that when they do certain things, it pisses me off. Not feeling like mentioning an example here. Sorry, readers. This is to not humiliate a certain 2 people out there.
Even so, there are still innocent people out there who are not so good in Maths.
I only have 2 people to prove me right that innocent people are somehow better at Maths. xD
Moving on, I am gonna apologize to you loyal readers out there for not posting all these time. Have been lazy, can't deny. Haha.
No worries, because I have not been posting, I have been focusing on both studies (Bleh!) and music. Maybe that will make up for the times I should have been blogging. xD Haha, that is, if I can ever get to share my music with you readers out there someday. It would be wonderful to join the orchestra one day. *Tears welling up and sniffles* *pink shoujo manga sparkles behind appear* xD
So, gonna get straight to music first. xD For those who missed me blogging, maybe you won't groan when I start mentioning about music non-stop for at least 1 or 2 days. For those who are sick of me mentioning about music in both real life and (blogging life...?), groan as much as you like. Make sure I can hear it too! Muahahaha. xD
Right, so I started volume 2 of the violin book. Forgotten what I've told you all before I stopped, sorry. xD Been playing harder and harder songs soon to be said as easy one day.
Recently have 2 weeks of break without violin lessons as my teacher had gone on a Shanghai Expo. Can't say I really get what you're supposed to do there but oh well, it seemed pretty exciting if your life is just giving violin lessons and just revolving around music for your whole life. I guess my teacher will sooner or later get tired and need rest. This Shanghai Expo made him so happy and he was in such a good mood that he gave me about 3 hard songs. He taught me new skills too.
Still not very good at the songs yet. Pretty worrying as already 1 week of being without violin lesson. I still have 1 more week to go. And exam starts this Thursday. xD I got to practise twice today. Almost 2 hours. Well, separate of course, since I have BM tuition today. I practiced about 1 hour before BM tuition and 1 hour after BM tuition.
Today, I feel ugly and fat. I feel ugly throughout the day and fat after bath. xD
Oh well, it's the same old season again, feeling ever so ugly and fat. Mainly feel ugly. I hardly feel fat these days.
As for studies, I know I should be doing more and bla bla bla but (always a but) never have the heart to do so.
Once I get the strength to work my all, I open the book and then... 3 seconds after glancing at the first page filled with words, closed the book and wonder how did I ever get so hyped up in the first place.
xD
Lolz. Surely some of you out there are the same. Haha.
Alrighty, about anime and manga, you may think I am still crazy about them, especially manga but I've cooled down and changed to watching mainly anime.
Either anime or God forbid, Restaurant City on Facebook. O.o
As for anime, have been watching K-On! Season 2 and Naruto Shippuuden.
K-On! Season 2 is nice, as expected. xD Waiting for next episode though have no idea when will it be out. As for Naruto Shippuuden, I am way behind and well, maybe I will catch up one day though I doubt that. I do not have the time and patience to wait too long for ALL the episodes to load one by one. xD
I am going to try out FullMetal Alchemist too, the one my friend is currently obsessed with. She says this is her last obsession but I doubt that. xD Sorry, my friend, I cannot trust those words. =P
Have been on good terms with my friend lately and it would be heaven to stay that way as long as possible (using forever would seem so fake & fairytale like). xD
Oh, maybe some of you wonder about certain things. Am willing to answer. Comment to ask if you like or anything.
Here are some I can think up of.
Q: Still worrying about various things non-stop?
A: Yes and that will probably never end. Dx
Q: Love the violin or just thinking of surpassing your friends?
A: Both. Gotta admit, they have been bragging that I feel like punching them in the face but can't help it. After all, they are innocent. *Sigh*
Q: Liked/ Had a crush on anyone so far?
A: To be frank, NO FREAKING WAY. I still play pretend games and wishing games but it doesn't mean I like anyone in particular. What's this I hear? A quiet "yet"? Well, you're maybe right. You'll just never know until it happens.
Q: Ever thought of crazy things?
A: Yes, definitely. I think of marrying all the bishounen from my favourite mangas! Well, marrying is too dramatic. Just thought of being with them. That's all. xD
Q: Are you going to sleep soon?
A: Yes. Lolz. 6 more minutes... and gonna post. Bye. Take care and have fun~!
OK fine, as a teenager to you adults out there, I am still considered very innocent but you know what? MAYBE, just MAYBE I have already uncovered the truth of what you adults have yet to uncover. >=D Muahahaha. xD Anyways, I am starting to find those freakishly innocent people at the age of 15 and above very ANNOYING. They are so damn innocent and naive that when they do certain things, it pisses me off. Not feeling like mentioning an example here. Sorry, readers. This is to not humiliate a certain 2 people out there.
Even so, there are still innocent people out there who are not so good in Maths.
I only have 2 people to prove me right that innocent people are somehow better at Maths. xD
Moving on, I am gonna apologize to you loyal readers out there for not posting all these time. Have been lazy, can't deny. Haha.
No worries, because I have not been posting, I have been focusing on both studies (Bleh!) and music. Maybe that will make up for the times I should have been blogging. xD Haha, that is, if I can ever get to share my music with you readers out there someday. It would be wonderful to join the orchestra one day. *Tears welling up and sniffles* *pink shoujo manga sparkles behind appear* xD
So, gonna get straight to music first. xD For those who missed me blogging, maybe you won't groan when I start mentioning about music non-stop for at least 1 or 2 days. For those who are sick of me mentioning about music in both real life and (blogging life...?), groan as much as you like. Make sure I can hear it too! Muahahaha. xD
Right, so I started volume 2 of the violin book. Forgotten what I've told you all before I stopped, sorry. xD Been playing harder and harder songs soon to be said as easy one day.
Recently have 2 weeks of break without violin lessons as my teacher had gone on a Shanghai Expo. Can't say I really get what you're supposed to do there but oh well, it seemed pretty exciting if your life is just giving violin lessons and just revolving around music for your whole life. I guess my teacher will sooner or later get tired and need rest. This Shanghai Expo made him so happy and he was in such a good mood that he gave me about 3 hard songs. He taught me new skills too.
Still not very good at the songs yet. Pretty worrying as already 1 week of being without violin lesson. I still have 1 more week to go. And exam starts this Thursday. xD I got to practise twice today. Almost 2 hours. Well, separate of course, since I have BM tuition today. I practiced about 1 hour before BM tuition and 1 hour after BM tuition.
Today, I feel ugly and fat. I feel ugly throughout the day and fat after bath. xD
Oh well, it's the same old season again, feeling ever so ugly and fat. Mainly feel ugly. I hardly feel fat these days.
As for studies, I know I should be doing more and bla bla bla but (always a but) never have the heart to do so.
Once I get the strength to work my all, I open the book and then... 3 seconds after glancing at the first page filled with words, closed the book and wonder how did I ever get so hyped up in the first place.
xD
Lolz. Surely some of you out there are the same. Haha.
Alrighty, about anime and manga, you may think I am still crazy about them, especially manga but I've cooled down and changed to watching mainly anime.
Either anime or God forbid, Restaurant City on Facebook. O.o
As for anime, have been watching K-On! Season 2 and Naruto Shippuuden.
K-On! Season 2 is nice, as expected. xD Waiting for next episode though have no idea when will it be out. As for Naruto Shippuuden, I am way behind and well, maybe I will catch up one day though I doubt that. I do not have the time and patience to wait too long for ALL the episodes to load one by one. xD
I am going to try out FullMetal Alchemist too, the one my friend is currently obsessed with. She says this is her last obsession but I doubt that. xD Sorry, my friend, I cannot trust those words. =P
Have been on good terms with my friend lately and it would be heaven to stay that way as long as possible (using forever would seem so fake & fairytale like). xD
Oh, maybe some of you wonder about certain things. Am willing to answer. Comment to ask if you like or anything.
Here are some I can think up of.
Q: Still worrying about various things non-stop?
A: Yes and that will probably never end. Dx
Q: Love the violin or just thinking of surpassing your friends?
A: Both. Gotta admit, they have been bragging that I feel like punching them in the face but can't help it. After all, they are innocent. *Sigh*
Q: Liked/ Had a crush on anyone so far?
A: To be frank, NO FREAKING WAY. I still play pretend games and wishing games but it doesn't mean I like anyone in particular. What's this I hear? A quiet "yet"? Well, you're maybe right. You'll just never know until it happens.
Q: Ever thought of crazy things?
A: Yes, definitely. I think of marrying all the bishounen from my favourite mangas! Well, marrying is too dramatic. Just thought of being with them. That's all. xD
Q: Are you going to sleep soon?
A: Yes. Lolz. 6 more minutes... and gonna post. Bye. Take care and have fun~!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Real Life ~ Annoyed Or What?
Am I becoming a B!tch or what? I somehow find that my friends' attitude are becoming worse.
I found that the one who used to be rude and all suddenly became her original self again after a few weeks of being nicer and gentler.
The violinist friend is becoming more and more demanding and pretty bossy. She may be smothered by love and crush and bla bla bla but she has no right to keep on making me seem like I owe her something even if her dad is the one who recommended me a teacher when a violin teacher was hard to find. =/
The pianist friend is getting very sensitive about the topic of love. She keeps saying her husband is this guy character in a video game and for real life, she wants her guy to wear blond wig. Gosh, don't tell me she only accepts looks? Still, who am I to say?
My friend, on the other hand, sitting beside me, keeps on hurting my arms everyday. I really am getting much more tireder and painful every time I play the violin. Especially left hand, which she keeps sitting on my left and therefore, my left arm becomes the victim. Screw it. I am gonna sock her if she makes anything worse. Is everyone having their monthly thing now or what? They are becoming more and more... CRAZY & RIDICULOUS!
And I am becoming more and more confused. I dunno if I've become a real B!tch queen or do I really have the rights to be a little bit pissed.
Argh... Sorry, I just cannot help it. Not in the mood.
Violin practice pretty frustrating. My left arm keeps getting painful and tired. The song is somehow worse than yesterday. >=/ I still have Friday and Saturday morning practice left to get it right. Maybe dad's right, this song is definitely challenging... Please say it does not mean I have limited skill only... T.T It would be hell to be stuck forever and not improve.
I did almost 1 hour in the evening. It was not enough. Stupid... I still have tuition tomorrow for Science. It's extra class and it's at a rushing time like today's tuition again! I HATE IT! I don't mind going but I do not want it to be a nice Friday when I can finally heave a sigh of relief because I can do things slower because no rushing for tomorrow's school work and no tuition. Now there's this extra class. I can't help but say this: WTF!
Feel like crying and throwing a fit. =[
What's more infuriating is that the violinist friend is boasting about her violin skills and treating herself as a prodigy. Urgh. Damn, whatever!
Sorry, people. I was hoping this post would not be so whiny but I guess it failed. At least it's not a lie...
Bye. Before anything else said will be regretted later on.
Take care and have fun~!^^
I found that the one who used to be rude and all suddenly became her original self again after a few weeks of being nicer and gentler.
The violinist friend is becoming more and more demanding and pretty bossy. She may be smothered by love and crush and bla bla bla but she has no right to keep on making me seem like I owe her something even if her dad is the one who recommended me a teacher when a violin teacher was hard to find. =/
The pianist friend is getting very sensitive about the topic of love. She keeps saying her husband is this guy character in a video game and for real life, she wants her guy to wear blond wig. Gosh, don't tell me she only accepts looks? Still, who am I to say?
My friend, on the other hand, sitting beside me, keeps on hurting my arms everyday. I really am getting much more tireder and painful every time I play the violin. Especially left hand, which she keeps sitting on my left and therefore, my left arm becomes the victim. Screw it. I am gonna sock her if she makes anything worse. Is everyone having their monthly thing now or what? They are becoming more and more... CRAZY & RIDICULOUS!
And I am becoming more and more confused. I dunno if I've become a real B!tch queen or do I really have the rights to be a little bit pissed.
Argh... Sorry, I just cannot help it. Not in the mood.
Violin practice pretty frustrating. My left arm keeps getting painful and tired. The song is somehow worse than yesterday. >=/ I still have Friday and Saturday morning practice left to get it right. Maybe dad's right, this song is definitely challenging... Please say it does not mean I have limited skill only... T.T It would be hell to be stuck forever and not improve.
I did almost 1 hour in the evening. It was not enough. Stupid... I still have tuition tomorrow for Science. It's extra class and it's at a rushing time like today's tuition again! I HATE IT! I don't mind going but I do not want it to be a nice Friday when I can finally heave a sigh of relief because I can do things slower because no rushing for tomorrow's school work and no tuition. Now there's this extra class. I can't help but say this: WTF!
Feel like crying and throwing a fit. =[
What's more infuriating is that the violinist friend is boasting about her violin skills and treating herself as a prodigy. Urgh. Damn, whatever!
Sorry, people. I was hoping this post would not be so whiny but I guess it failed. At least it's not a lie...
Bye. Before anything else said will be regretted later on.
Take care and have fun~!^^
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Real Life ~ Lazy But Did It
I wonder if any of you notice how the posts are getting shorter and shorter. xD
Our school timetable changed and well, I can't say I really like it but at least PE class is back to 2 periods in a day once a week.
I was forced to ask the whole class for their IC numbers today in school and I could not find the teacher in the end. I guess I will be seeing her by tomorrow. By then, I want to kill her because she sure is troubling people. Oh well, as an AJK Geo, I am compelled to do so. It's a damn world and damn day.
Violin practice about 1 hour. Just SO CLOSE to 1 hour but I think I've improved faster this week even though the 2 songs are longer and tougher. I had to use the 4th finger(pinky finger)! T.T That finger is like the weakest and more retarded of all fingers! It keeps plucking the E string on its own and sometimes plucking it too loud, scaring my parents in the end. xD It scared me when it happened for the first time. Now I am just plain annoyed.
Even though The 2nd song is not memorized yet, I am more concerned about playing the notes in time so I won't need to stop. If I played well this week's violin class, he will set the bar higher and higher. I will get stressed out more and more and get busier day by day. @.@ Lolz. This is crazy, alright but I am glad he did not purposely slow me down. He is really passionate and dedicated. Would be great if he stays that way forever. Just hoping he stops being forgetful though. =P
Haha, mom hummed the song Princess Mononoke. I heard the starting and she was a bit humiliated when I caught her. She just said it's because she heard too many times. Haha, nice try but I'll still take it as compliment.
That song is nice after all. =3
Just gotta keep perfecting it and stop the screeching at certain parts.
I keep feeling pain and tired easily today during the practice. Even though I was told to never force myself, I still do because I cannot afford to lose the time. That 1 hour would be a waste if I stopped too often for too long.
One more thing, I always felt sleepy while doing homework in the afternoon. I can't take afternoon nap either because I cannot squash the violin practice at night.
See, if I did a bit of homework and have not done all, took a nap like until 5PM+, took dinner, which should end at about 7PM. I would have 3 hours and 30 minutes left to do these stuff. I do homework for a long time. I also need revision. I also have to have at least 1 hour of violin practice. This will be too stressful and rushing so sleeping is not such a good idea. I can only depend on weekends as a rest. Actually,more like Fridays and Saturdays. I would need to sleep early on Sundays because of the stupid school day next day. =[
Still, very glad that got the chance to learn violin while still 10+.
Actually lazy to blog but I guess I still did it in the end.
My friend confessed her "love" to her crush and well, now's only left to see how things turn out. I cannot get involved in this because she might misunderstand and hate me for nothing. She doesn't know that I know she likes him. xD Better act as if nothing happen if not she'll break down or something.
Bye and take care and have fun~!^^
Our school timetable changed and well, I can't say I really like it but at least PE class is back to 2 periods in a day once a week.
I was forced to ask the whole class for their IC numbers today in school and I could not find the teacher in the end. I guess I will be seeing her by tomorrow. By then, I want to kill her because she sure is troubling people. Oh well, as an AJK Geo, I am compelled to do so. It's a damn world and damn day.
Violin practice about 1 hour. Just SO CLOSE to 1 hour but I think I've improved faster this week even though the 2 songs are longer and tougher. I had to use the 4th finger(pinky finger)! T.T That finger is like the weakest and more retarded of all fingers! It keeps plucking the E string on its own and sometimes plucking it too loud, scaring my parents in the end. xD It scared me when it happened for the first time. Now I am just plain annoyed.
Even though The 2nd song is not memorized yet, I am more concerned about playing the notes in time so I won't need to stop. If I played well this week's violin class, he will set the bar higher and higher. I will get stressed out more and more and get busier day by day. @.@ Lolz. This is crazy, alright but I am glad he did not purposely slow me down. He is really passionate and dedicated. Would be great if he stays that way forever. Just hoping he stops being forgetful though. =P
Haha, mom hummed the song Princess Mononoke. I heard the starting and she was a bit humiliated when I caught her. She just said it's because she heard too many times. Haha, nice try but I'll still take it as compliment.
That song is nice after all. =3
Just gotta keep perfecting it and stop the screeching at certain parts.
I keep feeling pain and tired easily today during the practice. Even though I was told to never force myself, I still do because I cannot afford to lose the time. That 1 hour would be a waste if I stopped too often for too long.
One more thing, I always felt sleepy while doing homework in the afternoon. I can't take afternoon nap either because I cannot squash the violin practice at night.
See, if I did a bit of homework and have not done all, took a nap like until 5PM+, took dinner, which should end at about 7PM. I would have 3 hours and 30 minutes left to do these stuff. I do homework for a long time. I also need revision. I also have to have at least 1 hour of violin practice. This will be too stressful and rushing so sleeping is not such a good idea. I can only depend on weekends as a rest. Actually,more like Fridays and Saturdays. I would need to sleep early on Sundays because of the stupid school day next day. =[
Still, very glad that got the chance to learn violin while still 10+.
Actually lazy to blog but I guess I still did it in the end.
My friend confessed her "love" to her crush and well, now's only left to see how things turn out. I cannot get involved in this because she might misunderstand and hate me for nothing. She doesn't know that I know she likes him. xD Better act as if nothing happen if not she'll break down or something.
Bye and take care and have fun~!^^
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Real Life ~ Fulfilled But Not The Best
Finally got the chance to have PE class today and it was what I was waiting for - Gymnastic.
We could not use the school hall so we could not get to do everything we should have been.
It was really girly and pretty stupid but then again, I just wanted to do this to make the girly me in the past get over it and also for fun. xD
We never got to jump rope or play with any stuff. Just full of things like balancing and stuff but it was girly enough, alright. Enough to make me puke. Lolz.
I think one of my friends is has a crush on my other friend~ *Whistles*
Just hope she doesn't get hurt but heck with it, there is no way you won't get hurt in this stupid thing called Love. I guess I can't call it love because... she's not even in her mid 20's yet and also it's not like she's totally matured.
Oh well, who am I to say. xD I am just trying to learn from my past mistakes now and try to get less pain in the future if that ever happens or whatever. Best not to take it seriously now. Surely this has been said on this blog before many times: I want to fulfill my dreams first before going ahead and enter the crazy battlefield called Love.
Coming from a 15-year-old girl who has been heartbroken more than 3 times, there's nothing wrong with saying that love is crazy and complicated is there? After all, it doesn't need to take a very old and supposedly wise person to have the rights to say such a simple sentence like the one before.
Moving on, I am gonna rush again.
Violin practice just now from 5:30PM to 6.30PM.
xD
Bye. For now?
We could not use the school hall so we could not get to do everything we should have been.
It was really girly and pretty stupid but then again, I just wanted to do this to make the girly me in the past get over it and also for fun. xD
We never got to jump rope or play with any stuff. Just full of things like balancing and stuff but it was girly enough, alright. Enough to make me puke. Lolz.
I think one of my friends is has a crush on my other friend~ *Whistles*
Just hope she doesn't get hurt but heck with it, there is no way you won't get hurt in this stupid thing called Love. I guess I can't call it love because... she's not even in her mid 20's yet and also it's not like she's totally matured.
Oh well, who am I to say. xD I am just trying to learn from my past mistakes now and try to get less pain in the future if that ever happens or whatever. Best not to take it seriously now. Surely this has been said on this blog before many times: I want to fulfill my dreams first before going ahead and enter the crazy battlefield called Love.
Coming from a 15-year-old girl who has been heartbroken more than 3 times, there's nothing wrong with saying that love is crazy and complicated is there? After all, it doesn't need to take a very old and supposedly wise person to have the rights to say such a simple sentence like the one before.
Moving on, I am gonna rush again.
Violin practice just now from 5:30PM to 6.30PM.
xD
Bye. For now?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Real Life ~ 2 Days In 1
I did not use computer at all yesterday and I was too lazy to switch it on too.
I'll get to the point. Yesterday, Mother's Day was a very boring day. I played Titanic at home for her and here she is today, criticizing. All out. Titanic sounded screechy at the start because I was not ready as usual. Even if it's just for my mom, I still hesitate at the start. She said Titanic was done by ear and she found it weird. Little did she know how many versions of that songs you can make. I am certain the one I am doing now is pretty accurate. After all, the first one I thought was wrong already. I did change a bit as I want it to be my own version that I am more comfortable playing with. This is to make up for the skill VIBRATO that I've not learned yet.
I can only learn DOUBLE-STOPPING at a higher grade. That's what my teacher told me. xD
Today's in point form again then. My arms and hands are both aching.
-Plastered the violin cut/injury at the neck/collarbone yesterday and it seems to be better now
-Will only put it back on if it got worse again. Now it's been removed after today's bath
-Have not much time as it is bedtime
-Practised less than an hour this evening because had dinner earlier and there's tuition after that too
-Practised about an hour after the tuition which explains why I am in a rush
Bye. Sorry I could not say more.
Take care and have fun~!^^
I'll get to the point. Yesterday, Mother's Day was a very boring day. I played Titanic at home for her and here she is today, criticizing. All out. Titanic sounded screechy at the start because I was not ready as usual. Even if it's just for my mom, I still hesitate at the start. She said Titanic was done by ear and she found it weird. Little did she know how many versions of that songs you can make. I am certain the one I am doing now is pretty accurate. After all, the first one I thought was wrong already. I did change a bit as I want it to be my own version that I am more comfortable playing with. This is to make up for the skill VIBRATO that I've not learned yet.
I can only learn DOUBLE-STOPPING at a higher grade. That's what my teacher told me. xD
Today's in point form again then. My arms and hands are both aching.
-Plastered the violin cut/injury at the neck/collarbone yesterday and it seems to be better now
-Will only put it back on if it got worse again. Now it's been removed after today's bath
-Have not much time as it is bedtime
-Practised less than an hour this evening because had dinner earlier and there's tuition after that too
-Practised about an hour after the tuition which explains why I am in a rush
Bye. Sorry I could not say more.
Take care and have fun~!^^
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Dreams ~ Piano Dreams Collection
From now on, the posts with the word "Piano" after "Dreams~" will be something I really dreamed of. I will start with the earliest dream that I can remember. They are pathetic but it's the truth. I do not really remember them all and what exactly happen but I will make it as real as possible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIANO SHOP
In a crowded place... It must have been a shopping centre. A VERY big shopping centre. But this shopping centre has a BIG music shop selling mainly pianos and digital pianos. There were only a few guitars on sale.
What was more surprising was that my mother side uncle owned the shop. I know he loves pianos and pianists. I guess that must be why he is willing to own a music shop. I could not recall the name of the shop but the whole place is definitely the biggest shop I've seen in my entire life.
Every time my uncle talked to my mom somewhere further, out of my sight, I would play on a special digital piano that somehow caught my attention. At times when they come back, mom and I would look at the casing with all the stuff for musical instruments. Boxes of various stuff and various sizes. Mom and I would spend lots of time pointing at every thing in the casing, fascinated with the things needed for every instrument.
One day, I sensed something wrong. I rushed past all the shops, everything a blur, just lights and flashes of people's faces as I ran past them. Just when I stopped by the music shop, the whole shop was dark and gloomy. I went in after hesitating slightly a little, my heart thumped at the speed of lightning as each second pass by.
The inside was really dark, the only light was from the outside, where a guitar lay leaning against the beige coloured wall.
It was sunny outside but the inside was really the opposite. I went to every digital pianos after looking at my favorite digital piano but found the same sign on each and everyone one of them.
The sign told us to pay a fine if we were ever caught playing the piano. My heart broke as every piano showed the same sign. My uncle was nowhere to be seen. My mom was not there but I could picture her telling me not to touch any of them.
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIANO SEARCH
Finally, after so long, mom agreed to buy me a piano. 88 keys! Can you believe it? After all those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks & months of despair and pure desperation, I can finally get my own piano where I can pour all my feelings out onto it. I can finally not look so stupid playing seriously on a little keyboard!
We went to this warehouse sales selling only acoustic pianos.
I found this wacky one with EXTREMELY NARROW keys! I tried playing a fast song and got a mistake only after a few notes. The piano was maroon in colour. After leaving the piano to look at millions of others, mom was like, "Eh? Why don't you play more? I thought you liked it? I already bought it." I was like, "What?! You bought it?! I was only playing around, I do not like it that much..." "Huh?! But then you looked like you were having fun!"
I frowned. I wanted a piano badly but I did not want to simply choose any old piano.
"OK, how about we go to another shop?" Mom suggested.
"Alright." I smiled, immediately feeling cheered up.
We went to this music shop I dreamed of the other night. It was big from what I last dreamed of and there was a special room selling mainly pianos only. I told mom about the room and pointed it to her. The guy behind the counter asked us what we wanted and I could finally proudly say that I am looking for a piano.
We went to this special room and I saw how small the shops was. Only a piano and a guy sitting on a black massage chair, making me wonder what's it doing there.
I went to play the piano but it was not satisfying enough. Again, the piano was weird in shape and not nice to play on.
Mom told me she bought it already and that she could still cancel the one she bought from the warehouse sales. My jaw dropped to the depths of hell. "WHAT?! AGAIN?! But I do not like this one!"
"Huh?!" Mom's face screwed up from frustration.
That was when we heard piano playing. A very fast one. It was my friend playing. She's the one who was supposed to be my temporary pianist for the Teacher's Day performance. Mom was surprised from her piano playing and it was a keyboard, an old one. It was pretty spoiled and true enough when I played it. I was disappointed and that was how the dream end when I woke up.
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOUSE OF INSTRUMENTS
It was an amazing place. A totally gigantic place you will never believe your eyes. Before entering, you have to think twice. In fact, scrap that, it's an insult to think twice. You should be thinking more than twice, try years of thinking.
The place has gotta be bigger than the Opera House from 'Phantom of The Opera'! There were cellos, double basses, pianos, violins... Everything you can think of. I went to this corner of a dark room with no lights on but only from the crack of the door. My friend who sits beside me in school was with me. We were scared and creeped out. The old clock chimed in the room. A doll with an eye gone was displayed on the shelf high up.
There were only 2 digital pianos near one another. I tried playing one. Yikes, it sounded like the organ piano. As creepy as the room itself but when I found a window, I saw a big double bass outside behind a window. That was when something hit me, a pang of familiarity?
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIANO ACADEMY
I have no idea how things happen with me ending up there but I was suddenly in a hall filled with digital pianos of all sorts. I saw a special piano with weird black keys.
As I went out of the hall, there were many people outside. Some parents were there and they all seem to be talking to their children about music and asking them to do well in the music exams. They told their children to study well too. It was then that I realized where I was.
I was in a music academy. I was supposed to learn music. Live in the world of music and die playing music. My life was supposed to revolve around the millions of songs, millions of musical notes, millions of music theories...
What made me wonder the whole time was how I even ended up there when I know my parents won't let me go there.
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIANO HOUSE
Buying a house... I never thought that we would be getting a new house. After all, the current house is still pretty new even after 5 years.
The owners of the house were only a daughter and her mother. The daughter's about my age.
I saw 2 pianos. One acoustic and one digital. I did not want to play too loud so I chose the digital one.
Before I could really play any notes, the owners were about to enter the house.
I ran upstairs to mom and dad. They were looking at the bathroom. I pretended to look too, feeling my heart jump about like crazy. I was fidgety and the owners eyed me suspiciously.
We all went down together and I could not play the piano in front of them. I kept looking at the pianos, feeling a beat of disappointment...
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that's about it for now. =P I might have dreamed more in the past but I certainly can't remember more.
I hope you enjoy them even if they are pathetic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIANO SHOP
In a crowded place... It must have been a shopping centre. A VERY big shopping centre. But this shopping centre has a BIG music shop selling mainly pianos and digital pianos. There were only a few guitars on sale.
What was more surprising was that my mother side uncle owned the shop. I know he loves pianos and pianists. I guess that must be why he is willing to own a music shop. I could not recall the name of the shop but the whole place is definitely the biggest shop I've seen in my entire life.
Every time my uncle talked to my mom somewhere further, out of my sight, I would play on a special digital piano that somehow caught my attention. At times when they come back, mom and I would look at the casing with all the stuff for musical instruments. Boxes of various stuff and various sizes. Mom and I would spend lots of time pointing at every thing in the casing, fascinated with the things needed for every instrument.
One day, I sensed something wrong. I rushed past all the shops, everything a blur, just lights and flashes of people's faces as I ran past them. Just when I stopped by the music shop, the whole shop was dark and gloomy. I went in after hesitating slightly a little, my heart thumped at the speed of lightning as each second pass by.
The inside was really dark, the only light was from the outside, where a guitar lay leaning against the beige coloured wall.
It was sunny outside but the inside was really the opposite. I went to every digital pianos after looking at my favorite digital piano but found the same sign on each and everyone one of them.
The sign told us to pay a fine if we were ever caught playing the piano. My heart broke as every piano showed the same sign. My uncle was nowhere to be seen. My mom was not there but I could picture her telling me not to touch any of them.
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIANO SEARCH
Finally, after so long, mom agreed to buy me a piano. 88 keys! Can you believe it? After all those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks & months of despair and pure desperation, I can finally get my own piano where I can pour all my feelings out onto it. I can finally not look so stupid playing seriously on a little keyboard!
We went to this warehouse sales selling only acoustic pianos.
I found this wacky one with EXTREMELY NARROW keys! I tried playing a fast song and got a mistake only after a few notes. The piano was maroon in colour. After leaving the piano to look at millions of others, mom was like, "Eh? Why don't you play more? I thought you liked it? I already bought it." I was like, "What?! You bought it?! I was only playing around, I do not like it that much..." "Huh?! But then you looked like you were having fun!"
I frowned. I wanted a piano badly but I did not want to simply choose any old piano.
"OK, how about we go to another shop?" Mom suggested.
"Alright." I smiled, immediately feeling cheered up.
We went to this music shop I dreamed of the other night. It was big from what I last dreamed of and there was a special room selling mainly pianos only. I told mom about the room and pointed it to her. The guy behind the counter asked us what we wanted and I could finally proudly say that I am looking for a piano.
We went to this special room and I saw how small the shops was. Only a piano and a guy sitting on a black massage chair, making me wonder what's it doing there.
I went to play the piano but it was not satisfying enough. Again, the piano was weird in shape and not nice to play on.
Mom told me she bought it already and that she could still cancel the one she bought from the warehouse sales. My jaw dropped to the depths of hell. "WHAT?! AGAIN?! But I do not like this one!"
"Huh?!" Mom's face screwed up from frustration.
That was when we heard piano playing. A very fast one. It was my friend playing. She's the one who was supposed to be my temporary pianist for the Teacher's Day performance. Mom was surprised from her piano playing and it was a keyboard, an old one. It was pretty spoiled and true enough when I played it. I was disappointed and that was how the dream end when I woke up.
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOUSE OF INSTRUMENTS
It was an amazing place. A totally gigantic place you will never believe your eyes. Before entering, you have to think twice. In fact, scrap that, it's an insult to think twice. You should be thinking more than twice, try years of thinking.
The place has gotta be bigger than the Opera House from 'Phantom of The Opera'! There were cellos, double basses, pianos, violins... Everything you can think of. I went to this corner of a dark room with no lights on but only from the crack of the door. My friend who sits beside me in school was with me. We were scared and creeped out. The old clock chimed in the room. A doll with an eye gone was displayed on the shelf high up.
There were only 2 digital pianos near one another. I tried playing one. Yikes, it sounded like the organ piano. As creepy as the room itself but when I found a window, I saw a big double bass outside behind a window. That was when something hit me, a pang of familiarity?
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIANO ACADEMY
I have no idea how things happen with me ending up there but I was suddenly in a hall filled with digital pianos of all sorts. I saw a special piano with weird black keys.
As I went out of the hall, there were many people outside. Some parents were there and they all seem to be talking to their children about music and asking them to do well in the music exams. They told their children to study well too. It was then that I realized where I was.
I was in a music academy. I was supposed to learn music. Live in the world of music and die playing music. My life was supposed to revolve around the millions of songs, millions of musical notes, millions of music theories...
What made me wonder the whole time was how I even ended up there when I know my parents won't let me go there.
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIANO HOUSE
Buying a house... I never thought that we would be getting a new house. After all, the current house is still pretty new even after 5 years.
The owners of the house were only a daughter and her mother. The daughter's about my age.
I saw 2 pianos. One acoustic and one digital. I did not want to play too loud so I chose the digital one.
Before I could really play any notes, the owners were about to enter the house.
I ran upstairs to mom and dad. They were looking at the bathroom. I pretended to look too, feeling my heart jump about like crazy. I was fidgety and the owners eyed me suspiciously.
We all went down together and I could not play the piano in front of them. I kept looking at the pianos, feeling a beat of disappointment...
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that's about it for now. =P I might have dreamed more in the past but I certainly can't remember more.
I hope you enjoy them even if they are pathetic.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Real Life ~ Shocked
Violin class quite a shock but the teacher and I were blur today. xD
Seems like the book I bought was wrong. =[ He said the book will slow me down and take 6 months to finish them all. He skipped straight to the page after the half of the book! There are so many freaking songs to play. But hey, he'll be on vacation for 2 weeks. Next week one more class and the next 2 weeks after that, he won't be there. He will let me know when will the replacement be after he returns.
I will skip straight to 6PM. Prepared stuff for shopping in a rush. I brought money in case I need to buy anything for mom. Nothing... Just bought 2 black pens. We went to this new shopping centre but it was goddamn boring. People performed but no violin. Their singing were OK. Not bad. =D
I did not perform for mom at all today but tomorrow's the real Mother's Day. I think I better buy us dinner because I am tired of Chinese food. I rather others. I do not care if it is Indian or Malay food. I actually do not really like Chinese food. =x Even if I am a Chinese, I'm more into Western food.
OK, next up, posts on my piano dreams. As promised months ago. Now I am in the mood so I will post with my feelings and soul tied to it.
Bye and take care and have fun~!^^
Seems like the book I bought was wrong. =[ He said the book will slow me down and take 6 months to finish them all. He skipped straight to the page after the half of the book! There are so many freaking songs to play. But hey, he'll be on vacation for 2 weeks. Next week one more class and the next 2 weeks after that, he won't be there. He will let me know when will the replacement be after he returns.
I will skip straight to 6PM. Prepared stuff for shopping in a rush. I brought money in case I need to buy anything for mom. Nothing... Just bought 2 black pens. We went to this new shopping centre but it was goddamn boring. People performed but no violin. Their singing were OK. Not bad. =D
I did not perform for mom at all today but tomorrow's the real Mother's Day. I think I better buy us dinner because I am tired of Chinese food. I rather others. I do not care if it is Indian or Malay food. I actually do not really like Chinese food. =x Even if I am a Chinese, I'm more into Western food.
OK, next up, posts on my piano dreams. As promised months ago. Now I am in the mood so I will post with my feelings and soul tied to it.
Bye and take care and have fun~!^^
Friday, May 7, 2010
Real Life ~ Lazy-Dazy
I am pretty lazy to write this post but here I am. xD
Funny how I always wanted to write on a Friday or on weekends.
Let's get down to business. xD Lolz, I sounded so... serious?
Point forms today, people. =D
-Violin practice for more than an hour in the evening
-Violin practice after dinner and rest but not sure how long it was
-Luckily not scolded after the practice
-Was thinking of buying mom dinner and performing there and then at the dinner place. Would be embarrassing even though I wanted to perform.
Alright, today's pretty boring for you guys.
Bye and I am sure I can give you details on how my weekends went.
Take care and have fun~!^^ (You think I'd forget to say this to you?)
Funny how I always wanted to write on a Friday or on weekends.
Let's get down to business. xD Lolz, I sounded so... serious?
Point forms today, people. =D
-Violin practice for more than an hour in the evening
-Violin practice after dinner and rest but not sure how long it was
-Luckily not scolded after the practice
-Was thinking of buying mom dinner and performing there and then at the dinner place. Would be embarrassing even though I wanted to perform.
Alright, today's pretty boring for you guys.
Bye and I am sure I can give you details on how my weekends went.
Take care and have fun~!^^ (You think I'd forget to say this to you?)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Real Life ~ Doodle Book
OK, ran out of a title and just lazy to think up one. In fact, I don't even feel like putting up any titles at all. xD
Yes, the lazy bump is here to stay for now. @.@
I used more of the doodle book today and again, the plan of yesterday's is being pushed behind. No worries, though I know you're not worrying and there's no need to either, I am not forcing myself to write this post now.
Anyways, will be putting everything happening today in point forms. Am lazy to type out in paragraphs.
-Went to school to find that the monthly thing started and started to keep on worrying everything will be visible or something but it's not like it's visible on the outside. xD Thank goodness but I still had anxiety attack, glad no hives appear enough to make me take pills. Yes, this topic is nothing to be said online for everyone, guys and girls to see but whatever, I am numb to this already!
-I will be working as the coupon collector on that Carnival day. xD I work the last shift and my friend got upset about the shift and job. She started going all emo on me and bla bla bla. Samo-lamo. xD Will be on a Sunday and thank God no need to miss any violin classes. =x
-I 'accidentally' burnt my left hand during Science class. We were doing experiment and at the end, we did not want to break the stuff again so I decided to test whether it's cool enough to wash yet. I tested it on a part of my left hand which doesn't need to be used while playing violin. REALLY bad idea, it was burnt. It became sore and it swell up and it darken. I had to have cream on it. The pain did not stop until school was over and when I started trying real hard not to let mom see. I almost let the whole incident slip my mouth to my mom's ears so many times. Now left only a dark patch. It's a minor injury. I did not want to make such a big fuss.
-Violin practice for 1 hour as usual nowadays. I guess Princess Mononoke is something I can call easy for my own version now. xD I started playing it fast. =.= Sweat. Titanic is OK... I am getting pretty bored of it but I will make sure I play it well on Sunday and sing it well too. Mom expected someone to buy her things... Lolz, fine, maybe that too but I gotta make Father's Day fair enough too! T.T I'm gonna be poor in a matter of 2 months. Lol!
-I wrote more in Doodle Book but I am too lazy to type out. So bye and you know what I usually say after "bye".
Yes, the lazy bump is here to stay for now. @.@
I used more of the doodle book today and again, the plan of yesterday's is being pushed behind. No worries, though I know you're not worrying and there's no need to either, I am not forcing myself to write this post now.
Anyways, will be putting everything happening today in point forms. Am lazy to type out in paragraphs.
-Went to school to find that the monthly thing started and started to keep on worrying everything will be visible or something but it's not like it's visible on the outside. xD Thank goodness but I still had anxiety attack, glad no hives appear enough to make me take pills. Yes, this topic is nothing to be said online for everyone, guys and girls to see but whatever, I am numb to this already!
-I will be working as the coupon collector on that Carnival day. xD I work the last shift and my friend got upset about the shift and job. She started going all emo on me and bla bla bla. Samo-lamo. xD Will be on a Sunday and thank God no need to miss any violin classes. =x
-I 'accidentally' burnt my left hand during Science class. We were doing experiment and at the end, we did not want to break the stuff again so I decided to test whether it's cool enough to wash yet. I tested it on a part of my left hand which doesn't need to be used while playing violin. REALLY bad idea, it was burnt. It became sore and it swell up and it darken. I had to have cream on it. The pain did not stop until school was over and when I started trying real hard not to let mom see. I almost let the whole incident slip my mouth to my mom's ears so many times. Now left only a dark patch. It's a minor injury. I did not want to make such a big fuss.
-Violin practice for 1 hour as usual nowadays. I guess Princess Mononoke is something I can call easy for my own version now. xD I started playing it fast. =.= Sweat. Titanic is OK... I am getting pretty bored of it but I will make sure I play it well on Sunday and sing it well too. Mom expected someone to buy her things... Lolz, fine, maybe that too but I gotta make Father's Day fair enough too! T.T I'm gonna be poor in a matter of 2 months. Lol!
-I wrote more in Doodle Book but I am too lazy to type out. So bye and you know what I usually say after "bye".
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Real Life ~ Another Might-Be Decided Plan
I might be only writing on blog during the weekends. Will try combining the whole weekdays into one blog post on a weekend or at least on Friday. No worries, this new Doodle Book will be keeping the details. I cannot promise you that this is confirmed yet. The reason for this is because I do not want this blog to stress me out like how I forced myself to write my diary last time. Sure took me a long time to finally give in and stop writing.
Once I do something, I always end up being serious. =S I just cannot help it. xD Surely some of you are the same too.
Violin practice at about 5PM (I guess...?). I can't remember... O.o But about an hour or so of practice. Mom said that it's OK to rest and continue homework after dinner. Fine. So I do not need to feel guilty anymore do I?
I found a better way to improve violin playing. Play the hard songs first and start from the last page of the book. I always concentrate on the starting songs played and because I usually played from the start of the book as a start of practice, I end up only getting better at starting songs, which are not being tested by teacher. I would end up being tired or slightly lazy by the time I reach the end of the book. And even when I am near at the end of book or even at the end of the book without enough practice, I would keep on thinking of skipping straight to own songs like Titanic and Princess Mononoke. =x
Yeah, I admit that I am not so strict as the practice is ending. This is because I get tired. I know I have no right to say I am tired when others practise up to 3-4 hours or lack of sleep because they practise the whole day.
Even so, I really gotta be honest with you. >=D
There's nothing much to say. You know what? It's like my life suddenly stood to a standstill and the dramas just froze for a moment.
Or don't tell me... That the drama is about to start?
Which reminds me, our school is gonna have carnival day again this year. It's on the 10th of June.
Gotta jet. xD Bye and take care and have fun ~!^^
Once I do something, I always end up being serious. =S I just cannot help it. xD Surely some of you are the same too.
Violin practice at about 5PM (I guess...?). I can't remember... O.o But about an hour or so of practice. Mom said that it's OK to rest and continue homework after dinner. Fine. So I do not need to feel guilty anymore do I?
I found a better way to improve violin playing. Play the hard songs first and start from the last page of the book. I always concentrate on the starting songs played and because I usually played from the start of the book as a start of practice, I end up only getting better at starting songs, which are not being tested by teacher. I would end up being tired or slightly lazy by the time I reach the end of the book. And even when I am near at the end of book or even at the end of the book without enough practice, I would keep on thinking of skipping straight to own songs like Titanic and Princess Mononoke. =x
Yeah, I admit that I am not so strict as the practice is ending. This is because I get tired. I know I have no right to say I am tired when others practise up to 3-4 hours or lack of sleep because they practise the whole day.
Even so, I really gotta be honest with you. >=D
There's nothing much to say. You know what? It's like my life suddenly stood to a standstill and the dramas just froze for a moment.
Or don't tell me... That the drama is about to start?
Which reminds me, our school is gonna have carnival day again this year. It's on the 10th of June.
Gotta jet. xD Bye and take care and have fun ~!^^
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Real Life ~ Disappointed & Frustrated
I am frustrated and disappointed in myself. I tried to be in sync with the Youtube video of Titanic but then it got weird. I was too fast at first. Then I pressed wrong note. Then I couldn't aim the high notes because they were too damn far and hard for me to guess where to press. Argh. I also messed up other songs and in the end, I ended the practice that went on for more than 1 hour in a huff.
Maybe I was too tired and agitated before that. I was pissed because homework was like hell. By the time I practise, I could hardly hold the violin. I could have almost dropped it more than once. My both arms were really tired... T.T
I still played because I know that once I start now, I have no time at night thanks to exams. I was only lucky that I did not go for the 2nd practice at night because mom expected me to do more work! I really did more work. I opened a doodle book for school. xD I felt like doodling sometimes... I just did not have the proper place to doodle. Haha.
I know I should not have been pissed with the practice but satisfied that I've improved a whole lot from the day when I first started drawing the bow on the strings. Should be proud that managed to keep the love for violin burning all these months. Still wishing that the love for violin stays even after death, even if it meant that my life might end real quick.
Maybe the excuse for being this way can be due to hormones. No matter what happened in our lives during the teen years, we usually end up saying it's the hormones.
One thing I was disappointed about was that I could not perform for grandma. =[
She will be busy on Saturday. Mom will be having lunch with her tomorrow and treating her too. They always just GOTTA have lunch during my school time. T.T
I can't even get to see grandma, let alone bring violin to perform.
Don't mention piano either. I know that my cousin side will be bored of piano because they hear my little cousin brother play everyday along with the scolding but a first time for them regarding violin. Sadly, my side of family is numb to both now. T.T Piano was long boring to them and as long as I am not the one playing, they watch. It hurts... And for violin, not even dad bothers taking videos of me playing even though I've learned how to play numerous songs. I wonder when will everyone finally be thrilled with every improvement made without making too much fuss?
We're humans still and I am getting heated up now. My violin cut is still visible and hives are still appearing every day. I gotta do something about it. =/
Bye. Take care and have fun. xD
Maybe I was too tired and agitated before that. I was pissed because homework was like hell. By the time I practise, I could hardly hold the violin. I could have almost dropped it more than once. My both arms were really tired... T.T
I still played because I know that once I start now, I have no time at night thanks to exams. I was only lucky that I did not go for the 2nd practice at night because mom expected me to do more work! I really did more work. I opened a doodle book for school. xD I felt like doodling sometimes... I just did not have the proper place to doodle. Haha.
I know I should not have been pissed with the practice but satisfied that I've improved a whole lot from the day when I first started drawing the bow on the strings. Should be proud that managed to keep the love for violin burning all these months. Still wishing that the love for violin stays even after death, even if it meant that my life might end real quick.
Maybe the excuse for being this way can be due to hormones. No matter what happened in our lives during the teen years, we usually end up saying it's the hormones.
One thing I was disappointed about was that I could not perform for grandma. =[
She will be busy on Saturday. Mom will be having lunch with her tomorrow and treating her too. They always just GOTTA have lunch during my school time. T.T
I can't even get to see grandma, let alone bring violin to perform.
Don't mention piano either. I know that my cousin side will be bored of piano because they hear my little cousin brother play everyday along with the scolding but a first time for them regarding violin. Sadly, my side of family is numb to both now. T.T Piano was long boring to them and as long as I am not the one playing, they watch. It hurts... And for violin, not even dad bothers taking videos of me playing even though I've learned how to play numerous songs. I wonder when will everyone finally be thrilled with every improvement made without making too much fuss?
We're humans still and I am getting heated up now. My violin cut is still visible and hives are still appearing every day. I gotta do something about it. =/
Bye. Take care and have fun. xD
Monday, May 3, 2010
Real Life ~ With Love & Determination
Today, my delayed violin practice is played with love and determination. Yes, it's the eye-rolling dreaded boring word now common to you : VIOLIN. And I am gonna say it again. Violin. V-I-O-L-I-N. Lolz.
I could not play at the usual evening time because of homework again. I suppose I don't even like playing at that time anymore. Know why? Mom would start being pissed and annoyed. She will think I rushed homework (which I was but am trying hard not to do so) and abandoned studies (which I wish to but can't). Everything that goes wrong would be blamed on me and nothing good will become of it. This is why after all the homework crap and tuition shit, I have more right to play the violin. >.>
Stupid exam. Stupid mid-term exams. I heard it lasted 6 days. OK. I will deal with those 6 horrible days. I do not think I can play peacefully by then though. I know I would be all panic and guilty 24/7. I would most definitely start being snappy and moody. It is always the same for all exams. I start freaking out and start doing regrettable things. Stupid Big exam as well. xD Heck, since I am cursing everything, I might as well finish the whole list. This is not even half of it!
Whatever. School was OK I guess. No one pissed me off I think. Yeah, no one so far. Just the homework and the teachers. Lolz. Moving on, (yes, I know you hate complains but do not comment about it either) I really have nothing much to say except the violin lesson. I forgotten everything else excluding violin that I wanna talk about. xD Getting forgetful. T.T
I just practised for one hour. I did mainly with determination. It was love at first but then I became more and more serious that determination took over. You can picture this girl sweating like crap and with eyes telling you not to kid around. The eyes were probably in flames! xD
Tomorrow is photo shoot day for every class. Too bad can't get to miss Chinese class. Will be missing PE which means my excitement for today is a waste. I was looking forward to gymnastic secretly. I remember always wanting to join the gymnastics in primary school! T.T I failed one part of the exercise though because I didn't feel like doing more at that part as I just didn't feel like it. This was way back at the age of 7 or 8. There were these tests to choose people who are suitable for it. I liked both karate and gymnastic! xD Wanted to be both girly and tough. Lolz.
Guess I am still both girlish and in a way and at the same time also tom-boyish. xD
Alright. Bye. Tired and just wanted to rest after that 1 hour violin practice filled with nothing but repeating and screeching.
I could not play at the usual evening time because of homework again. I suppose I don't even like playing at that time anymore. Know why? Mom would start being pissed and annoyed. She will think I rushed homework (which I was but am trying hard not to do so) and abandoned studies (which I wish to but can't). Everything that goes wrong would be blamed on me and nothing good will become of it. This is why after all the homework crap and tuition shit, I have more right to play the violin. >.>
Stupid exam. Stupid mid-term exams. I heard it lasted 6 days. OK. I will deal with those 6 horrible days. I do not think I can play peacefully by then though. I know I would be all panic and guilty 24/7. I would most definitely start being snappy and moody. It is always the same for all exams. I start freaking out and start doing regrettable things. Stupid Big exam as well. xD Heck, since I am cursing everything, I might as well finish the whole list. This is not even half of it!
Whatever. School was OK I guess. No one pissed me off I think. Yeah, no one so far. Just the homework and the teachers. Lolz. Moving on, (yes, I know you hate complains but do not comment about it either) I really have nothing much to say except the violin lesson. I forgotten everything else excluding violin that I wanna talk about. xD Getting forgetful. T.T
I just practised for one hour. I did mainly with determination. It was love at first but then I became more and more serious that determination took over. You can picture this girl sweating like crap and with eyes telling you not to kid around. The eyes were probably in flames! xD
Tomorrow is photo shoot day for every class. Too bad can't get to miss Chinese class. Will be missing PE which means my excitement for today is a waste. I was looking forward to gymnastic secretly. I remember always wanting to join the gymnastics in primary school! T.T I failed one part of the exercise though because I didn't feel like doing more at that part as I just didn't feel like it. This was way back at the age of 7 or 8. There were these tests to choose people who are suitable for it. I liked both karate and gymnastic! xD Wanted to be both girly and tough. Lolz.
Guess I am still both girlish and in a way and at the same time also tom-boyish. xD
Alright. Bye. Tired and just wanted to rest after that 1 hour violin practice filled with nothing but repeating and screeching.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Real Life ~ Another Violin Day
I woke up and the first thing I thought about was violin. Lolz. This is most likely gonna make you readers roll your eyes.
So I did a bit of housework to help mom and to not feel so guilty while practising violin.
Mom obviously knows what I am performing for Mother & father's Day. Come to think of it, I have time until next Sunday. All I can say now is "Shit!" xD Still do not have any clue whether I have any chance to perform for grandma. =o She is definitely not my mother but she is my mother's mother. Lolz. Alright, fine, I can always say she is like a 2nd mother to me. Aww, touching right? Haha, I have no time to feel touched right now. I actually do not feel like typing anything for blog today at all. I have not drawn anything for my Dog comic today but I am glad it is nothing serious.
This afternoon's homework was all involving my Art project. I drew and coloured a lot. @.@ The drawing for the 2nd page really was like hell. It almost took my whole life away to be honest but you know what? I always recover. xD
Back to the topic of violin practice in the morning. I think I practised about 2 hours. Either that or close to it. Lolz. I did not see the clock when I started playing. I noticed how fake I felt while playing and flying through one song after another page by page. What I meant by "fake" was because I always said to play with feelings but for today's practice, what was clear to me was that I NEVER played with feelings at all. I sometimes did. I really tried but it's not good enough. Mainly thanks to this little phobia of getting upset? Gotta admit, am scared of getting hurt now you know. Scared of getting hurt inside and outside.
Tears make a person ugly. Some say that we look the best when we cry so that's why we do not let others see us crying. I gotta say this, this is probably a nice quote but it's more like an excuse to hide your tears. Well, it is not like I hated that quote though. xD I still agree that tears make a person ugly. It makes that person defenseless and easy to take advantage of. Crying can help but to be frank (again), it can make you go blind if you cry too much.
Moving on, I notice that playing Princess Mononoke can help make your arm position on violin more accurate because of the big leap of notes. Your arm will have not enough time to slack. Thus, your arm has to be quick and dextorous while playing. One slight mistake will ruin the song and make it totally screechy. @.@
Princess Mononoke is pretty hard but sooner or later, it can be mastered and one day, I can finally say it is easy. xD Titanic is OK so far. It keeps on repeating the same notes and at the second instrumental part, the notes are a little too high for me to reach. It kept going screechy so I now decided to cut short the song. I think I have forgotten most of the notes for "Olive Tree" already... I gotta remember in case I gotta play for grandma. It turned out that she is also supporting my violin playing. She kept asking mom how I was doing. =D
Kyaa, more reasons to play better. xD Encouragements and support do help.
OK, I am going to go for now. I have a manga to read.
Bye and you know the rest of the sentence~!^^
So I did a bit of housework to help mom and to not feel so guilty while practising violin.
Mom obviously knows what I am performing for Mother & father's Day. Come to think of it, I have time until next Sunday. All I can say now is "Shit!" xD Still do not have any clue whether I have any chance to perform for grandma. =o She is definitely not my mother but she is my mother's mother. Lolz. Alright, fine, I can always say she is like a 2nd mother to me. Aww, touching right? Haha, I have no time to feel touched right now. I actually do not feel like typing anything for blog today at all. I have not drawn anything for my Dog comic today but I am glad it is nothing serious.
This afternoon's homework was all involving my Art project. I drew and coloured a lot. @.@ The drawing for the 2nd page really was like hell. It almost took my whole life away to be honest but you know what? I always recover. xD
Back to the topic of violin practice in the morning. I think I practised about 2 hours. Either that or close to it. Lolz. I did not see the clock when I started playing. I noticed how fake I felt while playing and flying through one song after another page by page. What I meant by "fake" was because I always said to play with feelings but for today's practice, what was clear to me was that I NEVER played with feelings at all. I sometimes did. I really tried but it's not good enough. Mainly thanks to this little phobia of getting upset? Gotta admit, am scared of getting hurt now you know. Scared of getting hurt inside and outside.
Tears make a person ugly. Some say that we look the best when we cry so that's why we do not let others see us crying. I gotta say this, this is probably a nice quote but it's more like an excuse to hide your tears. Well, it is not like I hated that quote though. xD I still agree that tears make a person ugly. It makes that person defenseless and easy to take advantage of. Crying can help but to be frank (again), it can make you go blind if you cry too much.
Moving on, I notice that playing Princess Mononoke can help make your arm position on violin more accurate because of the big leap of notes. Your arm will have not enough time to slack. Thus, your arm has to be quick and dextorous while playing. One slight mistake will ruin the song and make it totally screechy. @.@
Princess Mononoke is pretty hard but sooner or later, it can be mastered and one day, I can finally say it is easy. xD Titanic is OK so far. It keeps on repeating the same notes and at the second instrumental part, the notes are a little too high for me to reach. It kept going screechy so I now decided to cut short the song. I think I have forgotten most of the notes for "Olive Tree" already... I gotta remember in case I gotta play for grandma. It turned out that she is also supporting my violin playing. She kept asking mom how I was doing. =D
Kyaa, more reasons to play better. xD Encouragements and support do help.
OK, I am going to go for now. I have a manga to read.
Bye and you know the rest of the sentence~!^^
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Real Life ~ Lame But Satisfied
Woke up at 8AM. Lolz. Just because I slept earlier, I woke up about 8 hours and 45 minutes after that. Wait a minute, I am going to copy the Titanic lyrics instead of memorizing the notes because I still use ear to recognize the note.
OK, maybe the first lyrics I chose was like as if it was cut off halfway... Even so, at least I only found one mistake but found a sentence somewhat weird. xD
I suppose I can remember the lyrics as I play the song too because I will need to know the notes. This way of playing instrumental may not be advisable but I guess it's better than boring oneself to death by getting the notes right. Lolz.
Anyways, I will get straight to what I did for shopping because I do not feel like typing a lot today even though I spent the whole day thinking up paragraphs of what to write in blog but as usual, I forget the minute I switched on the computer.
Hey, I just found a new video to get the lyrics and I did not miss much. Just the end part of instrumental which I cannot seem to catch the note. =/
I waited so long in Mid Valley to see the music shops - place where I bought Autumn and also other place where they are into guitar and piano.
I saw new violins displayed and the digital piano that was once cheap and displayed there was replaced by a new white one that's about 3k plus dollars. =x Where am I gonna find that kind of money?
I entered Yamaha to play the digital piano. I am so glad to finally play it. 88 keys and also sometimes I can hear myself. Back at where I tried playing (where I got Autumn), the piano was not switched on and someone played loudly already. Yamaha was same but there were more piano and I chose a farther one to play. I had to switch it on and put it near full volume! =/ But I played a few songs, not completed, most of them. xD
Alright, bye.
OK, maybe the first lyrics I chose was like as if it was cut off halfway... Even so, at least I only found one mistake but found a sentence somewhat weird. xD
I suppose I can remember the lyrics as I play the song too because I will need to know the notes. This way of playing instrumental may not be advisable but I guess it's better than boring oneself to death by getting the notes right. Lolz.
Anyways, I will get straight to what I did for shopping because I do not feel like typing a lot today even though I spent the whole day thinking up paragraphs of what to write in blog but as usual, I forget the minute I switched on the computer.
Hey, I just found a new video to get the lyrics and I did not miss much. Just the end part of instrumental which I cannot seem to catch the note. =/
I waited so long in Mid Valley to see the music shops - place where I bought Autumn and also other place where they are into guitar and piano.
I saw new violins displayed and the digital piano that was once cheap and displayed there was replaced by a new white one that's about 3k plus dollars. =x Where am I gonna find that kind of money?
I entered Yamaha to play the digital piano. I am so glad to finally play it. 88 keys and also sometimes I can hear myself. Back at where I tried playing (where I got Autumn), the piano was not switched on and someone played loudly already. Yamaha was same but there were more piano and I chose a farther one to play. I had to switch it on and put it near full volume! =/ But I played a few songs, not completed, most of them. xD
Alright, bye.
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