*Sobs*
Hey, Everyone, Mind Hearing Me Out A Bit Here? A Little Bit Down In The Dumps Here...
I've Been Wondering For A Long, Long Time And Can't Find An Answer.
Why Can't My Mom Just Understand Me?
Really, Why?
Am I That Hard To Understand? Why Can't She Just Notice That The fact I'm Smiling And Laughing Now Is From The Effort Of Faking Them, In order To Hide The Pain And Depression, My Worries And Fears?
Why Can't She Just Tell That I Was Indeed Worried About My Exams And That I've Tried A Hell of A Lot? The Reason I Could Still Afford To Smile And laugh Then Was To Cheer Myself Up Because The Worries And Stress Will Just Worsen My heart Condition. If Not, I Might Not Be Able To Survive Til The Next Morning. Please, I Mean It. It Really Does hurt A Lot. It Made Me Unable To move or Breathe As Every Tiny Move Would hurt A LOT.
Why Can't She Just Accept That I Am Not Perfect And That I can't Always get An A? Why Can't She Just Be Glad As Long As I Don't Fail?
It's unfair, Mom, YOU Put Me On Tuition And YOU Paid For The Fees But When I Tried Real hard In The Exams And Disappointed You In The End, YOU Blame Me Wasting YOUR Money On The Tuition And Ask WHY Did I Ever Go To A Tuition! Mom, YOU Don't KNOW A Single Thing I had To Go Through! Just because You once Were This Bright Student And Then You married Someone You Sorta Regret But Still Love, Doesn't Mean I Gotta be Like Who you Once Were And Blame It All on Dad!
I Am Myself, Mom! Of Course I Inherited Some of You And Dad's Traits But I Am Still All Along, MYSELF! I Think My Own Way. That's What That makes Us Ourselves! Why Can't You Just Be Glad For once? Why can't You be Glad When The last Time I Got 100% For English? Why Do you ALWAYS Expect me To Do The Same?! It's Not Like I'm Some Sort of Prodigy or Genius!
Why Do You ALWAYS Have High Hopes?! Why Can't You Just Take Them As Things Go And STOP Pressuring Me?! Do you Know That Every Hurtful Words of Yours And Your Hurtful Actions Make My Day Like An Effing hell?! Do You Know You're Mostly The Reason For My Thought Of Committing Suicide?!
Mom, Do You Know That I Didn't Asked To be Born? If You Suffer, I Suffer As Well!
So-Called Adult Matters Or Not, It Still Mattered To Me! It Still Hurts Me Emotionally, Mentally And Physically! Do You Know That Whatever Happens To You And dad, Family Or My Friends, Everything Ends Up Taking Part of My life?! I Just can't Laugh And Play Like Some Innocent Toddler While Seeing You And others Going Through a bad patch, You Know! So OF COURSE The So-Called Adult Matters Or Not Will Still Hurt Me!
You Know, I Really Do WISH That I Was A True Prodigy And Genius.
That Way, You can FINALLY SHUT UP And Accept Me! You Would've STOPPED Wishing For More!
If I Were really A prodigy And A Genius, Having My Own Earning Power, And You Still Didn't Shut Up, I Think The problem Wouldn't Have Been me Anymore. It Would Have Been YOU! YOU Expect TOO MUCH! YOU Think Everything And Everyone's Perfect?!
Take A Look At yourself! Are You perfect? NO!
Perfect is used Only When Something Seems Perfect To us. It's Not Like it can Be Totally Flawless!
We Shouldn't ALWAYS Spot other People's Mistakes As Well! It's Damn Annoying.
Mom, You make Me Regret Being Alive And Think Of Why Didn't I Kill Myself The other Day Or Earlier on Sometimes, You Know...
I Wish You Would Stop being So harsh At Times And Chill.
Just because You Think You made A Big Mistake In Your Life And Don't Want me Ending Up The Same, You Don't have To Pressure Me To The Extent Of Exploding.
Reader(s), I REALLY APOLOGIZE For Complaining A Lot And Being Ungrateful. Not To mention, Being Self-Absorbed As Well. It's Just That, I Knew She Couldn't Help Being Like That But It's hard For Me To take As Well. Not Just Only Her...
Please Understand, Reader(s)... That's All I Ask of You Now.
Take Care, Everyone. Remember Not To Go Insane Like Me.
Also, Don't Get Married If You Think You may Turn into Like My Mom One Day. It Will Suffocate Your Kid(s). Trust Me On That.
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