HiHi, Everyone. Today's Post Is About A Bizarre Night I Went Through Last Night.
After Finding Out About The Website That I've Just Posted About, I Think I Finally Realize That I'm Going Through Depression. o.0
From The Website, I Learned That I Have Almost ALL The Symptoms That Are Listed Out There But I Wasn't Feeling That Depressed At That Moment.
When Homework Time Came, I Got Scolded By Mom(AGAIN! -.-) About Maths.
The School Teacher Hadn't Taught Us The Chapter About 'SOLID GEOMETRY' Yet And Is Now Rushing To Teach Us All When The Final Exams Have Ended.
The Homework That My Math Teacher Gave Seemed So Easy But When Mom Checked My Calculations And Methods, She Started Yelling At Me. I Was Like, "What The Hell? I Thought I Was Doing Fine..."
Due To Frustration And Sudden Breathing Difficulty, I Kept Sighing Whenever She Pointed Out The Mistake I Made.
It Sucks. She Misunderstood What My Sighing Meant And Started Yelling Her Head Off Again. =.=
She Started Mocking Me And Imitating My Sighing, Slightly Exaggerating It. Not Only That, She Started Complaining About The Facial Expressions I Make Whenever She Gives Me A Homework. She Even Said That She's So Damn Pissed Off That She Wished She Could Just Send Me Off To A Tuition Center And Let Other People Handle Me.
TOTAL '=.='!
She Already Understood That This Chapter Of Maths Is Completely New To Me And That I've Not Mastered Everything Related To It Yet She Expects Me To Know The Correct Answer Straight Away.
She's Not The Only One Thinking Like That.
Our Darn School Maths Teacher Thought That All of Us Students Go For Maths Tuition And Gave us A Question Without Teaching The Methods Of Solving It! Only After Someone Brave Enough to give Out An Answer, The maths teacher Finally Tells Us The method.
I HATE It A Lot When The Maths Teacher Comes To My Desk Telling Me That I'm Slow And To Do Faster! Oh C'mon! I'm NO Genius And Prodigy! I Am Just A Student TRYING To Cope. Urgh, She Thinks I Can Think REAL Fast And Solve real Quick!
I Need To Find Out The method And Check And Confirm before Giving out An Answer, Y'Know, Teacher! >.> We're Not Supposed to Rush our Work And Simply give Out An Answer. After All, Every Wrong Answer Ended Up being Laughed And Jeered At by The Class And teacher. So What's The use of Being Fast When Not Being So Accurate In The End? She Really Drives me Up The Wall.
So Continuing The Bizarre Night, Mom Got So Sick of Me That She Left The Room And Started Complaining To My Dad. Of Course I Can Perfectly hear EVERY Word She Said. I Could Hear Every Word So Well That I Wanted To Die Straight Away.
She Doesn't Even Know That I Am Already Blaming Myself A LOT And Feeling REALLY Guilty For being Who I Am Now. I hated Myself SO MUCH That I Wished I Didn't Exist But She has Yet to Believe Or So Much As Understand My Words And Feelings.
I Couldn't help but Cry Then... I Know I've Vowed To NEVER EVER Cry But It's Just So Tough! WHY! Why CAN'T She Just Understand Me For once...? I Know I've repeated This Question In My head And Blog Post many Times But I've Yet To get A Proper Answer! I'm Even Starting To Cry Now Thinking Back About It... Sorry, Reader(s), I Am NOT Strong... At All...
I Cried Silently, Not Willing To Let My parents Know As They Will Just Laugh At me And Scold Me In The End...
From Then on, I Couldn't Help But Keep Feeling Down.
Feeling So Down That I really Want To Die.
Please Stop With The Word "Emo". It's Quite Irritating Now.
Feelings Are Strong And It Affects People A Lot...
By The Time I Was In Bed, That's Where The Bizarre Part Started.
If I've Not Mistaken, I Was Just trying To Sleep As Usual But At Least The Down Feeling Reduced. I Dunno Why But I Suddenly Had Hot Tears Slipping My Eye Lids. Before I Knew It, I Was Crying. At First Silently Then Turn To Noisily With Heavy Breathing As I Try To Stop The Tears.
It Was Weird, Very Weird. I Sorta Knew The Reason For The Unexpected Tears But Wasn't So Sure. Part Of The Reason Could Be Coz Of The Yelling From Mom Earlier But Could Also Be Coz Of The Past Sad Memories.
As I Racked My Brain For The Possible Reasons, I Somehow Started Thinking Back Those Sad Pasts. Some Of Them Hurt And Some Don't. Even So, The Tears Remained Warm And Endless.
What's This? Crying Marathon? >.< Lolz.
From The Endless Crying, I Grew Increasingly Sad And Depressed.
I Finally Fell Asleep At God-Knows-What In The Morning.
I Woke Up Early With A Slight Sore Throat. My Eyes Were Sore From Last Night's Crying.
I Couldn't Go Back To Sleep When I Woke Up. I Had No Choice But To Wait For The Alarm Clock To Ring. =x
I Couldn't Even Go to School. Mom Thought I Seem Really Sick.
Weird... o.0
Anyone Experienced The Same As Me?
Sorry For:
1. Self-Absorbency
2. Grammar Mistakes
3. Spelling Mistakes
Have Fun And Take Care, Everyone!^^
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