I just remembered that one of the videos used in the iPod had its audio removed because of copyright.
It was "Cherish by Ai Otsuka". Hard to find a good video with the audio still available but anyways, I've replaced it. Now you can listen to it. That is, if ANYONE'S listening to it. Lol.
I have added more songs to it and created a little instrumental section before the lively techno comes on. =P
Really wanted to add in "Nothing Else Matters by David Garrett" but I cannot seem to find the one I already have in my YouTube playlist. @.@ The rest were all live performances. =/ I do not want listeners to waste time listening to clapping and bla bla bla. It is time consuming!
Funny, I have the energy to tell you this but I have no energy to tell you about my tiring but great day. xD
'Kay, gotta jet now.
Take care and have fun as always~!^^
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Real Life ~ Recovered By Night
Can you believe that a person about 14 years younger than me can actually cheer me up? Hehe.
Hey, just so you know, guys CAN be cute; when they are babies. Lol!
A 19-month-old baby boy came to my house at night today. His family were going to see if my family and house are suitable for him to be babysat at.
When I first saw him, he looked so cute! xD Hehe. His eyes were like o.0 and his mouth like =0
xD I've not seen any cuter babies like that. He's pretty active. =3
He played with the rubics cube. Not that he could solve it but if he does get to be babysat at my house, I'd like to teach him. There are so many things you can teach him. Haha. There's always the drawing and writing. Writing will be tough though. Dx I suck at drawing but sometimes my drawing can be recognized. xD
At first, I was wondering whether to hide or just sit at the computer minding my own business like normal. In the end, it was too late for me to move another inch because the "mother" (I put inverted commas because she ended up being the grandmother). To be honest, I thought the grandmother was too young to be one. o.0lll
I just greeted them a bit and went back to the computer since I'd feel self-conscious. I dare not read the manga so much in front of them in case an unnecessary hentai part appeared just when they looked my way. =S I would have a hard time convincing them by then. Lol.
Earlier before they came, I had been browsing for amazing violin videos by David Garrett. There were fast and slow ones. xD I had "Tzigane by Maurice Ravel" and "Caprice No.24 in A Minor by Nicolo Paganini" played first. It was only after that that I watched other violin videos. I only had one Japanese song by an anime played. xP
They stayed 1 hour.
After awhile, they started telling the baby to say "jie jie". In Chinese, it means "sister" but it does not have to be blood-related. I suppose he gave his family the idea that after he called out to me. It was only after he called me that when they started asking him to repeat after that. Man, I was pretty surprised earlier. I didn't think that the baby would notice my existence. After all, the attention was meant to be for my mother. She's the babysitter after all. xD I usually just help out in the past.
It's a pretty tiring job for me even as an assistant. At that time, I was about 12 or something only. I did not like playing those games because at that age and younger, I never liked playing with my own lil cousin bro. I used to get pissed really quick. Dx
I noticed changes. In a way, I've gotten pretty patient. I began enduring more than I could before. =/ I still have limits since I am nonetheless, just a human.
In fact, it's pretty fun to play with younger kids. As long as they can understand and listen to people, that is. Lol.
Most of the time, I ended up dealing with hyper kids. I suppose there was one kid I dealt with who had ADD/ADHD. To be frank, I always end up with hyper and active kids. @.@ Usually boys though (have girls extincted?!). Sure I do get tired from it all. xD It's only normal for an easily tired person like me, right? As a kid, I was active as well. I couldn't stop walking and playing with toys.
Sorry, sidetracked. -.- A bad habit of mine. Lol.
The grandmother took the baby to see me face to face. He looked just as cute up close. ^^ He's a shy one. xD His grandmother asked things and looked around the rest of my house.
After that, she left then came again. Talked again.
Then AGAIN, lol, the mother came with the baby. The baby walked on his own while holding his mother's hand. xD He looked cute that way too.
The mother talked to me and stuff. I gave him the rubics cube to play with. He twisted and twisted. After some time of twisting, he showed me an even more incomplete rubics cube. He looked so happy though. Lol. He sat on the chair to keep on playing the rubics cube. After awhile, he got bored. My hands were nearby and he finally did what his mom told him to do: shake hands with me. He didn't shake hands with me but at least held my hand by himself. xD I shook hands with him then. His hands were so tiny(and slightly wet and sticky from putting his own hands in his mouth)!
The baby tore stuff from my small notebook but it's not that important as long as I can still see things from that page.
It was only then when the baby was called to go home but to say goodbye to mom and I first.
I've been thinking, if I failed to be psychologist, journalist and even musician, I will stop trying to be smart or talented. I'd be someone to handle kids even though it's not any easier.
It's better than being a NEET (unemployed person).
Take care and have fun, everyone out there~! xD
Hey, just so you know, guys CAN be cute; when they are babies. Lol!
A 19-month-old baby boy came to my house at night today. His family were going to see if my family and house are suitable for him to be babysat at.
When I first saw him, he looked so cute! xD Hehe. His eyes were like o.0 and his mouth like =0
xD I've not seen any cuter babies like that. He's pretty active. =3
He played with the rubics cube. Not that he could solve it but if he does get to be babysat at my house, I'd like to teach him. There are so many things you can teach him. Haha. There's always the drawing and writing. Writing will be tough though. Dx I suck at drawing but sometimes my drawing can be recognized. xD
At first, I was wondering whether to hide or just sit at the computer minding my own business like normal. In the end, it was too late for me to move another inch because the "mother" (I put inverted commas because she ended up being the grandmother). To be honest, I thought the grandmother was too young to be one. o.0lll
I just greeted them a bit and went back to the computer since I'd feel self-conscious. I dare not read the manga so much in front of them in case an unnecessary hentai part appeared just when they looked my way. =S I would have a hard time convincing them by then. Lol.
Earlier before they came, I had been browsing for amazing violin videos by David Garrett. There were fast and slow ones. xD I had "Tzigane by Maurice Ravel" and "Caprice No.24 in A Minor by Nicolo Paganini" played first. It was only after that that I watched other violin videos. I only had one Japanese song by an anime played. xP
They stayed 1 hour.
After awhile, they started telling the baby to say "jie jie". In Chinese, it means "sister" but it does not have to be blood-related. I suppose he gave his family the idea that after he called out to me. It was only after he called me that when they started asking him to repeat after that. Man, I was pretty surprised earlier. I didn't think that the baby would notice my existence. After all, the attention was meant to be for my mother. She's the babysitter after all. xD I usually just help out in the past.
It's a pretty tiring job for me even as an assistant. At that time, I was about 12 or something only. I did not like playing those games because at that age and younger, I never liked playing with my own lil cousin bro. I used to get pissed really quick. Dx
I noticed changes. In a way, I've gotten pretty patient. I began enduring more than I could before. =/ I still have limits since I am nonetheless, just a human.
In fact, it's pretty fun to play with younger kids. As long as they can understand and listen to people, that is. Lol.
Most of the time, I ended up dealing with hyper kids. I suppose there was one kid I dealt with who had ADD/ADHD. To be frank, I always end up with hyper and active kids. @.@ Usually boys though (have girls extincted?!). Sure I do get tired from it all. xD It's only normal for an easily tired person like me, right? As a kid, I was active as well. I couldn't stop walking and playing with toys.
Sorry, sidetracked. -.- A bad habit of mine. Lol.
The grandmother took the baby to see me face to face. He looked just as cute up close. ^^ He's a shy one. xD His grandmother asked things and looked around the rest of my house.
After that, she left then came again. Talked again.
Then AGAIN, lol, the mother came with the baby. The baby walked on his own while holding his mother's hand. xD He looked cute that way too.
The mother talked to me and stuff. I gave him the rubics cube to play with. He twisted and twisted. After some time of twisting, he showed me an even more incomplete rubics cube. He looked so happy though. Lol. He sat on the chair to keep on playing the rubics cube. After awhile, he got bored. My hands were nearby and he finally did what his mom told him to do: shake hands with me. He didn't shake hands with me but at least held my hand by himself. xD I shook hands with him then. His hands were so tiny(and slightly wet and sticky from putting his own hands in his mouth)!
The baby tore stuff from my small notebook but it's not that important as long as I can still see things from that page.
It was only then when the baby was called to go home but to say goodbye to mom and I first.
I've been thinking, if I failed to be psychologist, journalist and even musician, I will stop trying to be smart or talented. I'd be someone to handle kids even though it's not any easier.
It's better than being a NEET (unemployed person).
Take care and have fun, everyone out there~! xD
Real Life ~ Liar
Ooh, someone's been naughty this year after Christmas! Just kidding. But someone lied to me. That IS naughty. Lol. Maybe it's not her intention to be one anyways. She probably forgotten what she said.
By now, after a horrible day (morning until now, which is currently afternoon), my tears have dried but I would say more will come. After crying from time to time today, my eyes have sorta hurts when I try to close them to rest for a moment. Blinking is still fine though (thank goodness, lol),
One would have thought that a certain someone (not me) is over with the results I got for the big exam. Guess what? She's still not done. I think she's becoming a whole lot more vengeful. I have a bad feeling there's some sort of revolution going on now or something. She's gonna completely change now. =[ I dare not say it's for the worse but maybe for her, the change is for the best.
Horoscopes gave me a shock again. It's true... in a bad way. At least it gave me a warning or heads-up before I actually suffer too much from it. Because I thought it was meant for another day (my mind got the horoscopes all jumbled up), I ended up suffering from it. Damn. Lol.
My hands are cold now. No idea why. It's not like the afternoon's freezing out there. This morning, it was like ice. Darn the icy weather in the morning, I gotta practise downstairs. Only now, I remembered the thought of practising in the so-called music room. Lol. Why did I have to practise downstairs? Not only I had hard time hearing what I was playing but I also suffered what the horoscopes warned me. I was told I did badly for the big exam and that it was Autumn's fault.
I just HAD to hear that before my practice. Of course my mind went autopilot when I practised the ABRSM exam pieces. The songs I played today did not sound nice. I made retarded mistakes but at some point, they were OK. Just OK, nothing big. I started thinking about the stupid big exam. Why... =(
It's not something to be surprised about though, how she blamed Autumn for it. I knew this was coming but at least the blaming came late. Actually, I am not sure I want it coming this late or earlier. xD
Yeah, I did badly. I screwed my own chance to get into the stream my old-self wanted to enter so badly for psychology. I effed up the chance for my old-self who did not liked violin at that time, who only had psychology to depend on to survive in the future. Hmm, give me a round of applause, I ruined my own life. Even so, it's not right to blame Autumn or music. It's not right to blame me either. It was the things that happened to me that made me end up seeking music for refuge. That depression... My old-self, who only had psychology to go for in future, who was like an empty shell with no soul inside but could still laugh at times, was deeply depressed. Wanted death. Now I still want death. Ending it all and not feeling anything else is what I suppose death should be like if you cut out the afterlife shit.
There was this promise to myself that I broke: always be numb and to be heartless.
Too bad, I ended up trying to be nice to everyone that they all took advantage of me. In the end, I was used and now some threw me away because I am not needed now.
Funny, I've been betrayed so many times yet I still want to be nice to those who'd treated me badly. I do have trust issues. Lol. Fate, isn't it? Must be nature of mine, that's why I kept being bullied.
There was a quote saying that to fear death is normal but to fear life would mean the person is 3 parts dead already. Why 3 parts? I don't get it. But it's saying that we should not fear life, right? Well, whatever because I feared life from the beginning. Every failure and betrayal made me fear life more and more. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore.
I was told to treat the others how they treated me. I do not get how they ended up making me being the one who was in the wrong. o.0 I only treated others how I wanted to be treated because one quote taught me to be that way. Sadly, not everyone's heard of it and some just became very unfair. You can say I have been waiting for a miracle to happen one fine day. Yeah, I wait for the day like, who knows, Oprah Winfrey or Dr. Phil can come save me from going insane like I am now. Just someone who had the power to change the world but be understanding at the same time. That way, I can stop envying the lucky ones on TV who got to have that chance to go the right path when watching Oprah's show.
Sorry, it's really hard to continue talking. The tears just keeps coming to blur my vision. It has been quite a tear-filled day, you know?
Anyways, I am not the type who could use a shoulder rest. It's so funny because It hurts my already injured chin and I never use the chin rest since I out my chin on the end tail. If I used the shoulder rest and the cloth at the same time, it's quite impossible because I cannot balance it that way. So... It's either I use no shoulder rest or I try putting sponge behind instead. @.@
You see, my arms have been aching quite badly yet I still cannot perfect 3 songs out of the 7. Awhile ago when I was at the first few paragraphs, my left arm throbbed in pain again. xD
Urgh, the tears made my face too warm. Dx
At least the waterworks stopped for a moment. Yay~
Hey, there's one pretty nice manga I've been reading. It's "Minami-ke". ^^
It's not like any other shoujo or shounen manga. It gives you a feeling that it's like a slice of life. It can be pretty boring or too weird for you at first but after awhile, it's pretty nice. Funny, more like. I could not stop 'liking' the pages. xD They're too retarded!
No new anime to mention. xP
Gotta watch the anime on TV now~
Take care and have fun~!^^
By now, after a horrible day (morning until now, which is currently afternoon), my tears have dried but I would say more will come. After crying from time to time today, my eyes have sorta hurts when I try to close them to rest for a moment. Blinking is still fine though (thank goodness, lol),
One would have thought that a certain someone (not me) is over with the results I got for the big exam. Guess what? She's still not done. I think she's becoming a whole lot more vengeful. I have a bad feeling there's some sort of revolution going on now or something. She's gonna completely change now. =[ I dare not say it's for the worse but maybe for her, the change is for the best.
Horoscopes gave me a shock again. It's true... in a bad way. At least it gave me a warning or heads-up before I actually suffer too much from it. Because I thought it was meant for another day (my mind got the horoscopes all jumbled up), I ended up suffering from it. Damn. Lol.
My hands are cold now. No idea why. It's not like the afternoon's freezing out there. This morning, it was like ice. Darn the icy weather in the morning, I gotta practise downstairs. Only now, I remembered the thought of practising in the so-called music room. Lol. Why did I have to practise downstairs? Not only I had hard time hearing what I was playing but I also suffered what the horoscopes warned me. I was told I did badly for the big exam and that it was Autumn's fault.
I just HAD to hear that before my practice. Of course my mind went autopilot when I practised the ABRSM exam pieces. The songs I played today did not sound nice. I made retarded mistakes but at some point, they were OK. Just OK, nothing big. I started thinking about the stupid big exam. Why... =(
It's not something to be surprised about though, how she blamed Autumn for it. I knew this was coming but at least the blaming came late. Actually, I am not sure I want it coming this late or earlier. xD
Yeah, I did badly. I screwed my own chance to get into the stream my old-self wanted to enter so badly for psychology. I effed up the chance for my old-self who did not liked violin at that time, who only had psychology to depend on to survive in the future. Hmm, give me a round of applause, I ruined my own life. Even so, it's not right to blame Autumn or music. It's not right to blame me either. It was the things that happened to me that made me end up seeking music for refuge. That depression... My old-self, who only had psychology to go for in future, who was like an empty shell with no soul inside but could still laugh at times, was deeply depressed. Wanted death. Now I still want death. Ending it all and not feeling anything else is what I suppose death should be like if you cut out the afterlife shit.
There was this promise to myself that I broke: always be numb and to be heartless.
Too bad, I ended up trying to be nice to everyone that they all took advantage of me. In the end, I was used and now some threw me away because I am not needed now.
Funny, I've been betrayed so many times yet I still want to be nice to those who'd treated me badly. I do have trust issues. Lol. Fate, isn't it? Must be nature of mine, that's why I kept being bullied.
There was a quote saying that to fear death is normal but to fear life would mean the person is 3 parts dead already. Why 3 parts? I don't get it. But it's saying that we should not fear life, right? Well, whatever because I feared life from the beginning. Every failure and betrayal made me fear life more and more. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore.
I was told to treat the others how they treated me. I do not get how they ended up making me being the one who was in the wrong. o.0 I only treated others how I wanted to be treated because one quote taught me to be that way. Sadly, not everyone's heard of it and some just became very unfair. You can say I have been waiting for a miracle to happen one fine day. Yeah, I wait for the day like, who knows, Oprah Winfrey or Dr. Phil can come save me from going insane like I am now. Just someone who had the power to change the world but be understanding at the same time. That way, I can stop envying the lucky ones on TV who got to have that chance to go the right path when watching Oprah's show.
Sorry, it's really hard to continue talking. The tears just keeps coming to blur my vision. It has been quite a tear-filled day, you know?
Anyways, I am not the type who could use a shoulder rest. It's so funny because It hurts my already injured chin and I never use the chin rest since I out my chin on the end tail. If I used the shoulder rest and the cloth at the same time, it's quite impossible because I cannot balance it that way. So... It's either I use no shoulder rest or I try putting sponge behind instead. @.@
You see, my arms have been aching quite badly yet I still cannot perfect 3 songs out of the 7. Awhile ago when I was at the first few paragraphs, my left arm throbbed in pain again. xD
Urgh, the tears made my face too warm. Dx
At least the waterworks stopped for a moment. Yay~
Hey, there's one pretty nice manga I've been reading. It's "Minami-ke". ^^
It's not like any other shoujo or shounen manga. It gives you a feeling that it's like a slice of life. It can be pretty boring or too weird for you at first but after awhile, it's pretty nice. Funny, more like. I could not stop 'liking' the pages. xD They're too retarded!
No new anime to mention. xP
Gotta watch the anime on TV now~
Take care and have fun~!^^
Friday, December 24, 2010
Real Life ~ Numb
Being numb is not bad once in awhile. That's how I was when I woke up this morning. xD
I had to go to school to hand in the form today. It was all OK. Mom and I bumped into my teacher. She was my class and Maths teacher when I was 14. She was my Moral teacher when I was 13. xD She said stuff and made sure my Maths got A.
Lol, I wished that her reaction could be nicer when she saw 4A's. Dx No one's reaction ever seem to nice when they saw 4 A's... Damn, if I'd at least get another A, everyone's expression would have had a bigger difference if compared to 4A's. -.-
At least Autumn can't make a face. xD Sigh, I share the same number of A's as the same number of strings Autumn has. See, even the master and the violin has something in common. It would be bloody funny too if I had the same number of A's as my violin bow. =x That would definitely mean more than straight A's. xD Hehe~
Oh well, hearing how my teacher told me that I might actually get into pure science, I feel much better. Just relieved, you know? Man, I can never seem to be at ease, can I? First, I did not do a perfect performance for the concert. Second, I screwed my big exam but not big time (phew~). Third, my anime suddenly had to be watched online. That episode 18 does not work. Sob. It was a great anime. Why do I have to buffer for one episode only? xD Oh well~ Fourth, I don't think there's anything else to say. xD
Lunch with mom and grandma. My lil cousin did not come along. I hate to say this but I prefer eating with just those 2 adults. I hate leaving my food cold just so he can continue eating. He does not have to try to find something to talk about so hard. =} Hmm, I remember being like that as a kid. I was freaking picky (still am but not so bad) and I was just like any normal kid, I was less tactful and I said what I really wanted (not everything, I'm afraid).
Stayed at my cousin's house for some time and left to go back home.
Yesterday, I did not realize that I've played the violin for about 4 hours. @.@ My left arm ached like God knows what. (>.<) I am hoping the cooling plaster works now. =S
I still practised today. Maybe 1 hour or something. The sky was dark and it seemed like a storm was coming. Fearing that the electricity will trip, I decided to play it safe by switching the computer and modem off. Practised for a moment after that and called it in for the day.
Currently working on about 3 new songs on my own. =/ I cannot do all too well for them and same for the songs my teacher gave as "homework". I'm trying to remember one of the songs without needing the video but the song is just easily forgotten. I still liked some of them though one of them is giving me a problem. Alright, confusing you, am I? I have a total of 7 songs to perfect until lesson starts in January. I have problem with about 4 songs from the 7 of them. I received the 3rd page last (2 songs inside) as homework and because I was used to practising the 2 pages before it, I keep forgetting about it. I have trouble remembering how the both songs in the 3rd page sound like. In fact, I forgotten to practise the last song in the 3rd page. xD
I would have finished the whole of "Eta Cohen Violin Method Book 3" once all songs are perfected. After that, my teacher might move on to the ABRSM Grade 5 exam pieces. I already had problems with the first Grade 5 exam piece when he asked me to try it out in the past. I have not practised it for some time but I have pretty much memorized it already. @.@ (all the memory space used up!) How sad, not enough time to practise everything.
Trying to prepare a private performance for my family to celebrate a certain important person's birthday on December 26th. ;) As for Christmas, I am not sure. Oh well. Anyways, I've just thought of an idea of how I will celebrate Valentine's day next year. Surely I will celebrate that day with the whole world. To be honest, I am learning my first romantic song. It's included in the 7 songs.
For the first time in my life, I look forward to Valentine's day. I can finally celebrate it with Autumn. =3 Well, yeah, I am pathetic for liking a non-living thing. After all, I no longer trust the romantic feelings with human because no one's perfect. You'll just end up finding something really hard to bear with within everyone. Same for me. =P Anyways, Autumn cannot cheat on me. I know Autumn cannot support me all the way up to Grade 8 but I'd love to always have her by my side along with the rest of me future violin(s).
Heck, I would like to one day choose between more than 1 violin to play with. xD Lol. Nothing will change the fact that it is Autumn who brought me to where I am now. ^^
So... Having said all this 'big talk', shouldn't I first treat her nicely instead of getting mad like yesterday? Lol. Oh well~ Let's just say we have our tiffs like a normal couple's quarrel. *sweats*
Alright, gonna watch anime. xD About to finish the whole of Season 2 already. @.@
Take care and have fun~!^^
I had to go to school to hand in the form today. It was all OK. Mom and I bumped into my teacher. She was my class and Maths teacher when I was 14. She was my Moral teacher when I was 13. xD She said stuff and made sure my Maths got A.
Lol, I wished that her reaction could be nicer when she saw 4A's. Dx No one's reaction ever seem to nice when they saw 4 A's... Damn, if I'd at least get another A, everyone's expression would have had a bigger difference if compared to 4A's. -.-
At least Autumn can't make a face. xD Sigh, I share the same number of A's as the same number of strings Autumn has. See, even the master and the violin has something in common. It would be bloody funny too if I had the same number of A's as my violin bow. =x That would definitely mean more than straight A's. xD Hehe~
Oh well, hearing how my teacher told me that I might actually get into pure science, I feel much better. Just relieved, you know? Man, I can never seem to be at ease, can I? First, I did not do a perfect performance for the concert. Second, I screwed my big exam but not big time (phew~). Third, my anime suddenly had to be watched online. That episode 18 does not work. Sob. It was a great anime. Why do I have to buffer for one episode only? xD Oh well~ Fourth, I don't think there's anything else to say. xD
Lunch with mom and grandma. My lil cousin did not come along. I hate to say this but I prefer eating with just those 2 adults. I hate leaving my food cold just so he can continue eating. He does not have to try to find something to talk about so hard. =} Hmm, I remember being like that as a kid. I was freaking picky (still am but not so bad) and I was just like any normal kid, I was less tactful and I said what I really wanted (not everything, I'm afraid).
Stayed at my cousin's house for some time and left to go back home.
Yesterday, I did not realize that I've played the violin for about 4 hours. @.@ My left arm ached like God knows what. (>.<) I am hoping the cooling plaster works now. =S
I still practised today. Maybe 1 hour or something. The sky was dark and it seemed like a storm was coming. Fearing that the electricity will trip, I decided to play it safe by switching the computer and modem off. Practised for a moment after that and called it in for the day.
Currently working on about 3 new songs on my own. =/ I cannot do all too well for them and same for the songs my teacher gave as "homework". I'm trying to remember one of the songs without needing the video but the song is just easily forgotten. I still liked some of them though one of them is giving me a problem. Alright, confusing you, am I? I have a total of 7 songs to perfect until lesson starts in January. I have problem with about 4 songs from the 7 of them. I received the 3rd page last (2 songs inside) as homework and because I was used to practising the 2 pages before it, I keep forgetting about it. I have trouble remembering how the both songs in the 3rd page sound like. In fact, I forgotten to practise the last song in the 3rd page. xD
I would have finished the whole of "Eta Cohen Violin Method Book 3" once all songs are perfected. After that, my teacher might move on to the ABRSM Grade 5 exam pieces. I already had problems with the first Grade 5 exam piece when he asked me to try it out in the past. I have not practised it for some time but I have pretty much memorized it already. @.@ (all the memory space used up!) How sad, not enough time to practise everything.
Trying to prepare a private performance for my family to celebrate a certain important person's birthday on December 26th. ;) As for Christmas, I am not sure. Oh well. Anyways, I've just thought of an idea of how I will celebrate Valentine's day next year. Surely I will celebrate that day with the whole world. To be honest, I am learning my first romantic song. It's included in the 7 songs.
For the first time in my life, I look forward to Valentine's day. I can finally celebrate it with Autumn. =3 Well, yeah, I am pathetic for liking a non-living thing. After all, I no longer trust the romantic feelings with human because no one's perfect. You'll just end up finding something really hard to bear with within everyone. Same for me. =P Anyways, Autumn cannot cheat on me. I know Autumn cannot support me all the way up to Grade 8 but I'd love to always have her by my side along with the rest of me future violin(s).
Heck, I would like to one day choose between more than 1 violin to play with. xD Lol. Nothing will change the fact that it is Autumn who brought me to where I am now. ^^
So... Having said all this 'big talk', shouldn't I first treat her nicely instead of getting mad like yesterday? Lol. Oh well~ Let's just say we have our tiffs like a normal couple's quarrel. *sweats*
Alright, gonna watch anime. xD About to finish the whole of Season 2 already. @.@
Take care and have fun~!^^
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Real Life ~ What's This Feeling?
I got this annoying nagging feeling.
Anyways, we got our stupid big exam's results today.
I've done 2 videos for 2 types of people today. I wanted to do another one but I forgotten about it. Lol.
This link for the happy idiots who got great results!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmiMkir1ubg
This link for us people who deserve more satisfaction!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNB_XWMa7Uk
I am not proud of both videos. Oh well. I do not want to care too much of ANYTHING now.
Woke up feeling absolutely nothing. I prepared this and that. Bla bla bla.
Went to school still feeling nothing but slight anxiety tugged at me.
Funny, just as I was about to get the result, I do not feel anything but wanting to just take and go. I already know from the start that I will not be doing well.
I only got 4 A's. I do not wanna give an eff. At least my Chinese did not fail. xD Was sure that the subject's a goner. Luck was partially on my side. Science, which I thought I did horribly for the second paper, surprisingly got an A. As for Maths, which I got not enough time to write everything in pen, got an A as well. BM, BM, BM~ I actually got an A. o.0 Lol. I do not remember how I did for it but anyways, it seemed like a miracle to my parents. Funny. Got A for English as well. Hmm... I know I should still feel happy and all but... this annoyingly nagging feeling keeps on chewing on my inside, telling me that I should not be satisfied at all...
My mom's first reaction was not even a smile. Well, because I did not know how to feel about my results, I decided to follow her reaction. I suppose I was not satisfied at all then.
Only one friend of mine, who's my classmate in the elementary school, gave me courage and comfort. I am so glad that out of all the friends I have, there's one who's ready to give me strength to live on even though she was busy being happy with her results. ^^ She rocks! =P 6A's! Everyone give a round of applause! xD
I wanted to cry out of sadness. I held those tears back. I've been holding them for the whole day. I do NOT want to cry over something I initially have no feelings for when I received the results. Just wanted to be tough once and for all.
Back at home, I uploaded and bla bla bla. Mom said certain things that were true but I didn't know they would hurt so much when they are said out loud... It was what that made my initially one of my best practice of this whole week became something too emotional. Sadly it was too late to capture the pure emotions being played out into songs. I pity Autumn though. I tried to see if I could play one of the songs I am having quite a trouble with well using that strong emotion but it seems like I am hurting the strings and the bow even more. I did not notice how hard my thumb gripped the bow until my thumb had this angry looking line across the lower part of the nail.
I was told I did well and all those shit but I do not want to believe them. The truth is, I am the worst among all my friends and that is exactly why I DO NOT want to see ANYBODY OR KNOW ANYBODY'S RESULTS. It was predictable. Just could not predict how I would feel at that moment because predicted feelings cannot beat true feelings.
When I first saw that quote from a book, I cannot believe how much it resembled me!
Today's example really shows it all. You could say I was lonely. Now I want to just whine and die. I really want to cry but I know I must not! I REALLY am about to let those few tears escape as they are really in my way of view now. Lol.
I played "Memory" with all my heart but I am still new to that song so mistakes are unavoidable. Shit, the first tear escaped. Hey, I was about to lock it up in a cage. xD Second tear out. Oops-a-daisy.
Sorry, my poker face is beginning to wear out.
Halfway playing those songs, I just realized how I wanted to lock myself out crying my eyes out in bed alone. Well, that's gonna waste my time. I need to help mom out in the house. There's not a moment for me to break down completely. I even thought of killing myself while playing the violin.
Why can't I just... Oh never mind. Saying this only ends up getting harsh remarks. Why can't people just comfort when I need comforting words?
Looks like my darkest moments are back. Don't feel like throwing a welcoming party for them.
Somebody's birthday is coming up~ *says in a sissy voice*
Her name starts with 'A' and ends with 'E'. ;P
Gonna just watch anime. That ought to lighten my mood up. =S
Take care and have fun~! Do this for me but don't rub it in my face.
Anyways, we got our stupid big exam's results today.
I've done 2 videos for 2 types of people today. I wanted to do another one but I forgotten about it. Lol.
This link for the happy idiots who got great results!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmiMkir1ubg
This link for us people who deserve more satisfaction!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNB_XWMa7Uk
I am not proud of both videos. Oh well. I do not want to care too much of ANYTHING now.
Woke up feeling absolutely nothing. I prepared this and that. Bla bla bla.
Went to school still feeling nothing but slight anxiety tugged at me.
Funny, just as I was about to get the result, I do not feel anything but wanting to just take and go. I already know from the start that I will not be doing well.
I only got 4 A's. I do not wanna give an eff. At least my Chinese did not fail. xD Was sure that the subject's a goner. Luck was partially on my side. Science, which I thought I did horribly for the second paper, surprisingly got an A. As for Maths, which I got not enough time to write everything in pen, got an A as well. BM, BM, BM~ I actually got an A. o.0 Lol. I do not remember how I did for it but anyways, it seemed like a miracle to my parents. Funny. Got A for English as well. Hmm... I know I should still feel happy and all but... this annoyingly nagging feeling keeps on chewing on my inside, telling me that I should not be satisfied at all...
My mom's first reaction was not even a smile. Well, because I did not know how to feel about my results, I decided to follow her reaction. I suppose I was not satisfied at all then.
Only one friend of mine, who's my classmate in the elementary school, gave me courage and comfort. I am so glad that out of all the friends I have, there's one who's ready to give me strength to live on even though she was busy being happy with her results. ^^ She rocks! =P 6A's! Everyone give a round of applause! xD
I wanted to cry out of sadness. I held those tears back. I've been holding them for the whole day. I do NOT want to cry over something I initially have no feelings for when I received the results. Just wanted to be tough once and for all.
Back at home, I uploaded and bla bla bla. Mom said certain things that were true but I didn't know they would hurt so much when they are said out loud... It was what that made my initially one of my best practice of this whole week became something too emotional. Sadly it was too late to capture the pure emotions being played out into songs. I pity Autumn though. I tried to see if I could play one of the songs I am having quite a trouble with well using that strong emotion but it seems like I am hurting the strings and the bow even more. I did not notice how hard my thumb gripped the bow until my thumb had this angry looking line across the lower part of the nail.
I was told I did well and all those shit but I do not want to believe them. The truth is, I am the worst among all my friends and that is exactly why I DO NOT want to see ANYBODY OR KNOW ANYBODY'S RESULTS. It was predictable. Just could not predict how I would feel at that moment because predicted feelings cannot beat true feelings.
"Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness."-Maya Angelou
When I first saw that quote from a book, I cannot believe how much it resembled me!
Today's example really shows it all. You could say I was lonely. Now I want to just whine and die. I really want to cry but I know I must not! I REALLY am about to let those few tears escape as they are really in my way of view now. Lol.
I played "Memory" with all my heart but I am still new to that song so mistakes are unavoidable. Shit, the first tear escaped. Hey, I was about to lock it up in a cage. xD Second tear out. Oops-a-daisy.
Sorry, my poker face is beginning to wear out.
Halfway playing those songs, I just realized how I wanted to lock myself out crying my eyes out in bed alone. Well, that's gonna waste my time. I need to help mom out in the house. There's not a moment for me to break down completely. I even thought of killing myself while playing the violin.
Why can't I just... Oh never mind. Saying this only ends up getting harsh remarks. Why can't people just comfort when I need comforting words?
Looks like my darkest moments are back. Don't feel like throwing a welcoming party for them.
Somebody's birthday is coming up~ *says in a sissy voice*
Her name starts with 'A' and ends with 'E'. ;P
Gonna just watch anime. That ought to lighten my mood up. =S
Take care and have fun~! Do this for me but don't rub it in my face.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Real Life ~ Horoscope So Right
Horoscopes sure seems to be really accurate these days even though I forgotten to read again. xD I remembered to read it for tomorrow's because tomorrow's the day I get to know my results for the big exam. Obviously no confidence, worried out of my mind deep inside. *weak laughter*
It seems like people will be annoying me a lot tomorrow so I gotta have my poker face on and just smile... Smile on, like an idiot. xD Ever since I read the horoscope for last Sunday (the concert), I realize I have poker face on most of the time even if I'm around with people I am closed with. Oh well. Last week, I really focused on the performance and my appearance. I forgotten about health. Lol! That's why the day (Saturday morning) before the performance day, it was a great false alarm when I could not stop sneezing. That cold not only gave me a fright but also reminded me of how much I've not cared for my own health. At least I make sure I do not hurt my arms. Haha.
After days of thinking back, as much as how Saturday and Sunday became REALLY blur to me (don't even think of asking me what I did or had for lunch for those both days), I realize how unfair my accompanist was. Maybe she was nervous. That's possible but she should have let me known that she was my accompanist all along. Alright, again, maybe she knew it last minute. And, why AM I creating excuses for her? Lol. Well, I do not want to have to come to hate her. No special reason though. I just do not feel like hating her. xD I know she has to be a good pianist. No way can she not know the actual speed of the song. It was to mess me up, was it? After all, she might not be working at that academy anymore. That means there may be new management or something starting next year. Whatever it is/was, I must make sure my current violin teacher stays with me. It does not matter (it actually sort of matters) how extremely forgetful he is, he's still a good teacher. That, I cannot deny. After so many years of being scared of music teachers, I finally start to think that there are some out there who will not chew their students' heads off. Dx
Anyways, am not ready to know the results for the big exam. Of course those smart asses are ready. Some smart asses are not. For one, I know I am not smart (actually, I am pretty dumb) even if people somehow ended up thinking I am smart when I am not at all. Must be pure luck. xD
Still, I know I will not be able to get grades as good as the previous big exam we 12-year-old students have to go through. After all, the subjects change and are harder. Lol. If they were not harder, I cannot imagine how I can still blog here. xD
On Monday, the day after the concert, I woke up wanting to take the practice easy since I'd mentally and physically worn myself out for that one performance (though would be great if I could perform more than one song).
I practised downstairs. The recorder was not really needed because it's harder to use now since I've grown used to the computer's Windows Media Player. Anyways, those songs are as if they've been with me for years. Can't say they are always played perfectly but they can be played without the need of accompaniment. Playing with their guide for the past few weeks has made me improved a lot in many ways. Lol, why am I writing some sort of dedication that you can find in books? Well, I basically just need the volume turned up loud enough to match with my violin. Of course, the increase in volume must not harm the computer first. xD
The recorder still came down with me, I think. Can't quite remember, sorry.
Mom talked on the phone with grandma and there you go, another hectic day to spend with grandma and lil cousin bro. Hmm, I am meant to be VERY exhausted already but the news of them coming over to my house made me have more strength. It means they get to meet Autumn if they want to.
I'll skip straight to them being at my home.
My cousin bro took a tour around my house (it's not big enough to call it tour but it seems like a huge tour to him since he touches almost everything he sees ;P). He was fascinated with my tortoise. xD He even overfed the tortoise. He brutally murdered my keyboard (the limited-keys piano). He also found the tuner for my violin really interesting. He started shouting and doing "opera" to see if he was in tune. I pity everything he touched. Lol. Autumn and my tortoise must be stressed from all the attention. Autumn was tested out by his "wonderful" playing. He taught me a song. He played on the piano while I memorize by ear. At first we did phrase by phrase but then I suddenly got muddled up. Funnily, he also forgotten what he just played. So we played at the same time. He on the piano and I on the violin. (Actually, the violin by my side, not me on the violin) That is, if you took it literally.
He suggested that we perform for mom and grandma. I already knew the song but not full song. Oh yeah, the song title is "Oh When The Saints". It's common but it can be pretty nice to listen to once in awhile.
Sorry but I've just been through a lot in at least an hour while I was away.
Take care and have fun.
It seems like people will be annoying me a lot tomorrow so I gotta have my poker face on and just smile... Smile on, like an idiot. xD Ever since I read the horoscope for last Sunday (the concert), I realize I have poker face on most of the time even if I'm around with people I am closed with. Oh well. Last week, I really focused on the performance and my appearance. I forgotten about health. Lol! That's why the day (Saturday morning) before the performance day, it was a great false alarm when I could not stop sneezing. That cold not only gave me a fright but also reminded me of how much I've not cared for my own health. At least I make sure I do not hurt my arms. Haha.
After days of thinking back, as much as how Saturday and Sunday became REALLY blur to me (don't even think of asking me what I did or had for lunch for those both days), I realize how unfair my accompanist was. Maybe she was nervous. That's possible but she should have let me known that she was my accompanist all along. Alright, again, maybe she knew it last minute. And, why AM I creating excuses for her? Lol. Well, I do not want to have to come to hate her. No special reason though. I just do not feel like hating her. xD I know she has to be a good pianist. No way can she not know the actual speed of the song. It was to mess me up, was it? After all, she might not be working at that academy anymore. That means there may be new management or something starting next year. Whatever it is/was, I must make sure my current violin teacher stays with me. It does not matter (it actually sort of matters) how extremely forgetful he is, he's still a good teacher. That, I cannot deny. After so many years of being scared of music teachers, I finally start to think that there are some out there who will not chew their students' heads off. Dx
Anyways, am not ready to know the results for the big exam. Of course those smart asses are ready. Some smart asses are not. For one, I know I am not smart (actually, I am pretty dumb) even if people somehow ended up thinking I am smart when I am not at all. Must be pure luck. xD
Still, I know I will not be able to get grades as good as the previous big exam we 12-year-old students have to go through. After all, the subjects change and are harder. Lol. If they were not harder, I cannot imagine how I can still blog here. xD
On Monday, the day after the concert, I woke up wanting to take the practice easy since I'd mentally and physically worn myself out for that one performance (though would be great if I could perform more than one song).
I practised downstairs. The recorder was not really needed because it's harder to use now since I've grown used to the computer's Windows Media Player. Anyways, those songs are as if they've been with me for years. Can't say they are always played perfectly but they can be played without the need of accompaniment. Playing with their guide for the past few weeks has made me improved a lot in many ways. Lol, why am I writing some sort of dedication that you can find in books? Well, I basically just need the volume turned up loud enough to match with my violin. Of course, the increase in volume must not harm the computer first. xD
The recorder still came down with me, I think. Can't quite remember, sorry.
Mom talked on the phone with grandma and there you go, another hectic day to spend with grandma and lil cousin bro. Hmm, I am meant to be VERY exhausted already but the news of them coming over to my house made me have more strength. It means they get to meet Autumn if they want to.
I'll skip straight to them being at my home.
My cousin bro took a tour around my house (it's not big enough to call it tour but it seems like a huge tour to him since he touches almost everything he sees ;P). He was fascinated with my tortoise. xD He even overfed the tortoise. He brutally murdered my keyboard (the limited-keys piano). He also found the tuner for my violin really interesting. He started shouting and doing "opera" to see if he was in tune. I pity everything he touched. Lol. Autumn and my tortoise must be stressed from all the attention. Autumn was tested out by his "wonderful" playing. He taught me a song. He played on the piano while I memorize by ear. At first we did phrase by phrase but then I suddenly got muddled up. Funnily, he also forgotten what he just played. So we played at the same time. He on the piano and I on the violin. (Actually, the violin by my side, not me on the violin) That is, if you took it literally.
He suggested that we perform for mom and grandma. I already knew the song but not full song. Oh yeah, the song title is "Oh When The Saints". It's common but it can be pretty nice to listen to once in awhile.
Sorry but I've just been through a lot in at least an hour while I was away.
Take care and have fun.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Real Life ~ Year-End Concert
Today's the day. Instead of it being my big day, it should be Autumn's. It's Autumn's day to shine on "stage".
I woke up feeling like there's nothing though the first thing running through my mind was the concert.
Even now, my heart is banging against my rib cage.
Practised downstairs. The sound of the violin won't be so nice downstairs but I cannot risk being sick again. I was sick yesterday in the morning because I caught a cold and the strong fan upstairs made me worse even though I faced away from the fan.
I knew it would be impossible to play violin with the computer downstairs. Haha. True enough, it was too soft and I do not want to spoil the speakers. Dx
In the end, my trusty recorder is back to work with me for today. Its sound quality sucks and all but at least it does help because it helped me in the past before I used the computer upstairs.
Alright, any of you feeling the suspense? =P
I let my mom use the computer instead. So I practised the concert song and also the rest and even others I played for fun.
Practice lasted about 2 hours plus.
Took a bath. Went for lunch. Wondered what to do before going for the rehearsal. Left house at 2:45PM.
My hands were sweaty and cold. I worry that it becomes stiff so I kept holding my hands and at the same time watch over Autumn.
At last, at the destination.
Found someone I recognized. I went into the auditorium. My teacher did not lie to me. The concert hall was small. There was a Baby-G (baby grand piano/ smaller grand piano) there.
Actually, I just played the violin when blogging halfway.
I stink of sweat now... Urgh.
So I sat at the back feeling awkward. All I thought of back then was whether that familiar teacher there from my music school will be my accompanist. In the end, it another familiar teacher who was my accompanist. I had a feeling she never really liked me from the start. =S I do not recall offending her... Oh well. She played faster. If she were to be my accompanist from the start, why didn't she let me know? Guess she did not give a toss about me anyways.
I ruined my one and only warm-up with her. I was shaking by the time I got to the "stage". There wasn't even a stage! I stood near the piano. My bowing sucked. Only the left hand was less scared because had to hold the violin for support.
They would not let me tune but instead, my violin teacher, who said he wouldn not be attending, came and tune mine! There was another student playing the violin. I suppose she's also under my teacher. I thought she looked beautiful but I caught her feeling anxious. She still looked cool and calm though. I was shaking and freezing. Freezing because the room was bloody cold.
When my turn came, I made a mistake at the start. That time, I did not feel embarrassed and in fact, the rest of the playing with [less mistakes(?)] was much more embarrassing. I felt like I let the crowd down but I am glad Autumn looked beautiful throughout the whole concert. My dad took pictures. I looked just OK but of course, Autumn SHINED! She was so gorgeous! ^^
Then came the other girl's turn for a violin solo. Only she and I play violin for the concert. The rest were piano. No choir this year, I guess.
She was probably as bad as me but she played "Memory from Cats". I loved it even though she was obviously anxious at that time as well. Her bowing showed how nervous she was. Still, she was beautiful throughout the whole performance. I played without score but she played with score. Her song's not so short like mine anyways. She played 2 songs, it seems. It said that in the paper. They spelled my name wrongly in the paper. On top of that, the song title "La Cumparsita from G.M. Rodriguez" was spelled wrong.
Oh well, who am I to say? I sucked. But mom said it sounded OK. @.@
I dunno. I just hope people still found it nice. This is part of why I wish I have the power to read minds. At the same time, those nasty remarks will not get to me now that I am normal enough to not read minds. =P So... There's good and bad when it comes to mind-reading.
My teacher never smiled throughout the whole concert. I never paid much attention to him though.
The other girl messed up but the song managed to move me. =D There was no vibrato though vibrato would make the song a whole lot more beautiful. She had violin tape(training tape/guiding tape) on. She also had liquid paper markings like mine. Hehe, she's a beginner then...? All the same, she was brave and great to me. I wanted to tell her how I enjoyed her performance but I guess I didn't get to. We had a group photo. My violin teacher was no where to be seen by then. Too bad.
It was drizzling by the time I went down. The concert ended at 5PM+ instead of 6PM. it seems like 2 people did not get to perform though it was said in the paper.
My left arm is starting to ache now as I type. I guess I've practised 3 times and performed once today. The morning practice was the longest though.
I think I will use the left hand to do the "shift" and alphabets that are close to it. Autumn did well by not going too out of tune.
Dinner at a place nearby my house. I carried Autumn with me. We went to the supermarket after that. My dad carried his camera with him. People stared and looked at Autumn. Well, they can only see the bag of course. Some might not know what instrument is inside. xD
Oh yeah, only piano and violin were involved in the concert today. No guitars. xD No cello either. I would love to see a cello. =o
Earlier, I played my violin again when blogging because I just printed the sheet music for "Memory". Loved it.
I could not stop playing after that as expected. By the time I paused for a moment, all hot and sweaty, mom said it was enough as she looked at the clock. I think I wanna sleep earlier today... Then again, maybe I will just watch anime before going to bed.
I text messaged my teacher and he said it was OK. I hoped it really was though. =S
Gotta jet now. Would love to upload pictures for you but faces will be shown... Privacy is number one rule on this blog. I mean, I will not reveal names unless permission is given. Same goes for photos.
Hehe, I do not wanna show my face. =P
Take care and have fun~!^^
I woke up feeling like there's nothing though the first thing running through my mind was the concert.
Even now, my heart is banging against my rib cage.
Practised downstairs. The sound of the violin won't be so nice downstairs but I cannot risk being sick again. I was sick yesterday in the morning because I caught a cold and the strong fan upstairs made me worse even though I faced away from the fan.
I knew it would be impossible to play violin with the computer downstairs. Haha. True enough, it was too soft and I do not want to spoil the speakers. Dx
In the end, my trusty recorder is back to work with me for today. Its sound quality sucks and all but at least it does help because it helped me in the past before I used the computer upstairs.
Alright, any of you feeling the suspense? =P
I let my mom use the computer instead. So I practised the concert song and also the rest and even others I played for fun.
Practice lasted about 2 hours plus.
Took a bath. Went for lunch. Wondered what to do before going for the rehearsal. Left house at 2:45PM.
My hands were sweaty and cold. I worry that it becomes stiff so I kept holding my hands and at the same time watch over Autumn.
At last, at the destination.
Found someone I recognized. I went into the auditorium. My teacher did not lie to me. The concert hall was small. There was a Baby-G (baby grand piano/ smaller grand piano) there.
Actually, I just played the violin when blogging halfway.
I stink of sweat now... Urgh.
So I sat at the back feeling awkward. All I thought of back then was whether that familiar teacher there from my music school will be my accompanist. In the end, it another familiar teacher who was my accompanist. I had a feeling she never really liked me from the start. =S I do not recall offending her... Oh well. She played faster. If she were to be my accompanist from the start, why didn't she let me know? Guess she did not give a toss about me anyways.
I ruined my one and only warm-up with her. I was shaking by the time I got to the "stage". There wasn't even a stage! I stood near the piano. My bowing sucked. Only the left hand was less scared because had to hold the violin for support.
They would not let me tune but instead, my violin teacher, who said he wouldn not be attending, came and tune mine! There was another student playing the violin. I suppose she's also under my teacher. I thought she looked beautiful but I caught her feeling anxious. She still looked cool and calm though. I was shaking and freezing. Freezing because the room was bloody cold.
When my turn came, I made a mistake at the start. That time, I did not feel embarrassed and in fact, the rest of the playing with [less mistakes(?)] was much more embarrassing. I felt like I let the crowd down but I am glad Autumn looked beautiful throughout the whole concert. My dad took pictures. I looked just OK but of course, Autumn SHINED! She was so gorgeous! ^^
Then came the other girl's turn for a violin solo. Only she and I play violin for the concert. The rest were piano. No choir this year, I guess.
She was probably as bad as me but she played "Memory from Cats". I loved it even though she was obviously anxious at that time as well. Her bowing showed how nervous she was. Still, she was beautiful throughout the whole performance. I played without score but she played with score. Her song's not so short like mine anyways. She played 2 songs, it seems. It said that in the paper. They spelled my name wrongly in the paper. On top of that, the song title "La Cumparsita from G.M. Rodriguez" was spelled wrong.
Oh well, who am I to say? I sucked. But mom said it sounded OK. @.@
I dunno. I just hope people still found it nice. This is part of why I wish I have the power to read minds. At the same time, those nasty remarks will not get to me now that I am normal enough to not read minds. =P So... There's good and bad when it comes to mind-reading.
My teacher never smiled throughout the whole concert. I never paid much attention to him though.
The other girl messed up but the song managed to move me. =D There was no vibrato though vibrato would make the song a whole lot more beautiful. She had violin tape(training tape/guiding tape) on. She also had liquid paper markings like mine. Hehe, she's a beginner then...? All the same, she was brave and great to me. I wanted to tell her how I enjoyed her performance but I guess I didn't get to. We had a group photo. My violin teacher was no where to be seen by then. Too bad.
It was drizzling by the time I went down. The concert ended at 5PM+ instead of 6PM. it seems like 2 people did not get to perform though it was said in the paper.
My left arm is starting to ache now as I type. I guess I've practised 3 times and performed once today. The morning practice was the longest though.
I think I will use the left hand to do the "shift" and alphabets that are close to it. Autumn did well by not going too out of tune.
Dinner at a place nearby my house. I carried Autumn with me. We went to the supermarket after that. My dad carried his camera with him. People stared and looked at Autumn. Well, they can only see the bag of course. Some might not know what instrument is inside. xD
Oh yeah, only piano and violin were involved in the concert today. No guitars. xD No cello either. I would love to see a cello. =o
Earlier, I played my violin again when blogging because I just printed the sheet music for "Memory". Loved it.
I could not stop playing after that as expected. By the time I paused for a moment, all hot and sweaty, mom said it was enough as she looked at the clock. I think I wanna sleep earlier today... Then again, maybe I will just watch anime before going to bed.
I text messaged my teacher and he said it was OK. I hoped it really was though. =S
Gotta jet now. Would love to upload pictures for you but faces will be shown... Privacy is number one rule on this blog. I mean, I will not reveal names unless permission is given. Same goes for photos.
Hehe, I do not wanna show my face. =P
Take care and have fun~!^^
Friday, December 17, 2010
About "Strangers Begone!"
This really was what I dreamed of 2 nights ago. I edited quite a lot but the fear is still within me as if it really happened before. This nightmare will not disappear for quite awhile now. =[
I hope other people reading it will not fall for what I did in the nightmare.
Take care and have fun.
I should be posting another one of my dreams but it's already 1 hour and 9 minutes past my bedtime. This day had been pretty hectic but I cannot sleep at all. xD
So, do as I say again and just take care of yourself. Do not forget to have fun as well. =P
I hope other people reading it will not fall for what I did in the nightmare.
Take care and have fun.
I should be posting another one of my dreams but it's already 1 hour and 9 minutes past my bedtime. This day had been pretty hectic but I cannot sleep at all. xD
So, do as I say again and just take care of yourself. Do not forget to have fun as well. =P
Dreams ~ Strangers Begone!
Running away is what I can only think of now. I am sweating like as if hell gate has been opened here. I cannot run though. Being trapped in a car and having nowhere to look at but the predator right in front of you, watching you with a sinister look? Yeah.
Who would have thought how dangerous it could be even if the predator is in another car that's right next to you? He was there staring at me with eyes that want to lick my every being. I can only shudder at the thought of what could be happening next... No where to run, my fingers are frantically pressing the buttons of my one and only handphone.
That handphone, my only hope of escape but how much damage could have been done by then when help arrives?
He's still sitting in the car facing me. His smirk is sinister. I do not like the looks of it. No, he's crouching, not sitting. As if he's a strong animal cornering a weakling... Yeah, a weakling like me. I cannot run out the door of the car either. His running speed will definitely be frighteningly fast. He will outrun me in no time. My knees are already knocking. I do not have any more ways to escape.
Grandma, where could you be? I should not have lied to you or my parents! Why didn't I use my brain?
I bet you are curious now. Why in hell would I be here in this shitty situation?
The day was as hot as summer. Cicadas can be heard from a distance. Things were like usual, boring. I had nothing else to do. Meeting someone new would be great as long as the person's fun. A simple request, right? After all, I was so bored out of my mind.
My friends all already left for an adventurous vacation. Damn, why am I stuck here playing with sticks and stones? I feel like a village kid.
An idea popped out of my mind. It was one that anyone else would have thought of right away but my slow brain gave me this idea later than it should be. My "brilliant" plan was to walk around. I do not know this place that well anyways.
Strolling was what I did. In fact, it was ALL I did.
There was this big building with a magnificent arch built on the outside, indicating the entrance. I was enchanted by its pure beauty. The arch was so detailed. Oh yeah, it was evening by the way. My face was somewhat cold from the endless sweating thanks to the summer heat. You have just gotten yourself your very own roasted human here. My sweat have all dried up by the time I was right in front of the amazing arch.
The arch was all white. The building was white as well, with a bit of blue here and there. It was an attractive building. The sign is blurry now due to my bad memory. I cannot remember what is the building for.
Near the building and on the right side of the arch, the most beautiful resting place stood firm on the ground. It was a nice white square with little seats on it. The seats were green with white stripes. There were many green plants. All light-coloured. Tiny vines from the plants could be seen hanging by the side of the white rectangular pot. There were a few guys hanging out there.
Who would have ever thought that a guy would actually pay attention to me? They were talking before he noticed me. Their bits of conversations were still clear in my head but whatever's about to happen next is harder to forget. Even when I've lived up till this moment to tell you, the things happening later and the words said were getting much more clearer. It is as if it happened just yesterday.
"Hehe, yeah, it was awesome like that, ya know right, yeah?" questioned the first guy.
"Duh, it was so obvious!" The second guy said it loudly, waving his hands up high in the air.
"Ya not kiddin' me right? He went flying around!" The first guy suddenly jerked forward, enthusiasm written on his forehead.
There were lots of laughter coming from the second guy and he suddenly asked the third guy, "Yo dude, whatcha spacin' out for?"
It was then when the first and second guy turned their head towards where the third guy was looking, which was right at me. I shied backwards. Sweat started trickling down the side of my head again. My thoughts back then was, "Shit, I totally ruined their conversation..."
The third guy started to stand up, smiling kindly. He walked towards me. My feet refused to move an inch. I gulped, eyes locked with the guy's. My body stiffened.
"Hi, what's a pretty little lady like you doing here?" the third guy questioned.
"Uh...Uh... Nothing. Walking," I stuttered my way through the whole sentence.
We started talking. The more he continued his friendly chatter, the more comfortable I grew to chatting with him.
Suddenly, he asked a surprising question.
"Can you go out with me?"
"Y-Yes!" was all I managed to say. I did not expect this. He was a fat guy but his friendliness at that time tricked me into thinking that he was naturally like that.
I smiled and said that it was time I leave the place or else my family would be worried.
I skipped happily back home. What a treat, I suddenly have a new friend who is also at the same time my first boyfriend.
Things went smoothly. Ever since then, I met up with him a few times even though I sometimes get this chill down my spine whenever he smiles. It is as if his smiles slowly turn into something sinister. My family did not know of him but warned me to never go near the building when I told them of its beauty. They would not tell me why but only warned me not to go near it.
Of course I ignored their words.
Days passed peacefully. It was like floating in the sky and at the same time picking off a bit of the clouds like they are cotton candy.
One day, my grandma managed to somehow find out where I have been escaping to in order to let the boredom go away.
I was strictly forbidden to simply leave the house but after things cooled down, I sneaked out.
Meeting him slowly began to give me tension. I started to not look forward to seeing him. He no longer really smiles at me but just smirks at me. Always looking me not in the eye. I do not even want to recall where he looked at.
I despised myself for feeling and thinking that way. I thought I was too ungrateful that I have this opportunity to actually be in a relationship. Chances like this never come by.
My grandma once dragged me home when she caught me going out with him.
Come to think of it, I do not think I ever got to know the guy's name. I am not sure whether he knows mine though.
Of course my family were furious when the news got to their ears. Got an earful as well. I was once again forbidden to get near that place but this time, they sounded a whole lot more serious that it managed to convince me 80%.
Still, I went to see him one last time.
After I told him everything, he slowly became the person whom I met on that first day. He was really nice. I enjoyed keeping him company. Having my family take that piece of fun from me would be too cruel. No, this cannot just end like this.
I quietly left and went back home. It was trouble trying to hide my smile.
The very next day, I drove the car illegally. He promised to meet me there in the evening. From there, we can be together. I was thinking he would take me away forever. When I said I drove the car illegally, I meant that I did not have any license. I have no driving experience but from watching my family drive the car, I remembered everything one needs to do in order to drive.
I got my way there safely. Not a scratch on the car, let alone me. I stayed in the car with the car idle in front of the arch. No one was at the resting place. The building looked quiet from the outside. Never have I once been in there.
I waited. Waited and waited. Seconds turned to minutes. Before you know it, it was already night time. I could hear crickets. I think I must have fell asleep for a little moment while waiting. He was nowhere to be found by the time I woke up from the nap. I started feeling this chill. What if someone came and abduct me? The guy will be blamed instead of the one who abducted me.
A teal-coloured car slowed down right beside my car. I had a bad feeling, like something nasty is going to come and harm me. Just when I looked on my right, there he was. He was driving alone in the car. I no longer felt the friendliness emanating from him. His smirk was really frightening. I could not scream. I quickly took my handphone out then.
There you go, you have almost the full story already.
I pressed "Search" carelessly in my phonebook. My heart was racing. I could hear my own heart banging in my rib cage. I had no time to scroll down to find "Grandma" in the list of names. I tried with effort to get the "G" typed in but my fingers were clammy with sweat. I was shivering. My fingers kept doing the wrong thing. Knowing I have a slim chance of escaping, I must try all I can to survive in this nerve-wrecking situation.
There I was, wondering where grandma was. I could not let go of my handphone. My left hand clutched it really hard. Letting the handphone go would mean letting my only escape go. Therefore, my life would end right there and then. I know he will be right beside me in the car in no time if I dropped the phone or got distracted in the slightest. You could say it was not bad for a fat guy like him...
I struggled and struggled. Finally, I got her name right and pressed the green button to call grandma.
Whatever happened next was a blur but I am no longer living in the same place anymore. No one would let me know what happened. I just know I was in a hospital. I never went back to school for a long time when the holidays ended. My friends would be horribly mistaken if they ever thought I had been too busy being on vacation.
What I learnt from this lesson was that I should NEVER trust strangers so easily. I have problems when being around people I do not know. That guy taught me this. I still fear that he will appear before me again.
So to avoid this happening to you, do not be desperate and do not trust people like him so easily.
Who would have thought how dangerous it could be even if the predator is in another car that's right next to you? He was there staring at me with eyes that want to lick my every being. I can only shudder at the thought of what could be happening next... No where to run, my fingers are frantically pressing the buttons of my one and only handphone.
That handphone, my only hope of escape but how much damage could have been done by then when help arrives?
He's still sitting in the car facing me. His smirk is sinister. I do not like the looks of it. No, he's crouching, not sitting. As if he's a strong animal cornering a weakling... Yeah, a weakling like me. I cannot run out the door of the car either. His running speed will definitely be frighteningly fast. He will outrun me in no time. My knees are already knocking. I do not have any more ways to escape.
Grandma, where could you be? I should not have lied to you or my parents! Why didn't I use my brain?
I bet you are curious now. Why in hell would I be here in this shitty situation?
The day was as hot as summer. Cicadas can be heard from a distance. Things were like usual, boring. I had nothing else to do. Meeting someone new would be great as long as the person's fun. A simple request, right? After all, I was so bored out of my mind.
My friends all already left for an adventurous vacation. Damn, why am I stuck here playing with sticks and stones? I feel like a village kid.
An idea popped out of my mind. It was one that anyone else would have thought of right away but my slow brain gave me this idea later than it should be. My "brilliant" plan was to walk around. I do not know this place that well anyways.
Strolling was what I did. In fact, it was ALL I did.
There was this big building with a magnificent arch built on the outside, indicating the entrance. I was enchanted by its pure beauty. The arch was so detailed. Oh yeah, it was evening by the way. My face was somewhat cold from the endless sweating thanks to the summer heat. You have just gotten yourself your very own roasted human here. My sweat have all dried up by the time I was right in front of the amazing arch.
The arch was all white. The building was white as well, with a bit of blue here and there. It was an attractive building. The sign is blurry now due to my bad memory. I cannot remember what is the building for.
Near the building and on the right side of the arch, the most beautiful resting place stood firm on the ground. It was a nice white square with little seats on it. The seats were green with white stripes. There were many green plants. All light-coloured. Tiny vines from the plants could be seen hanging by the side of the white rectangular pot. There were a few guys hanging out there.
Who would have ever thought that a guy would actually pay attention to me? They were talking before he noticed me. Their bits of conversations were still clear in my head but whatever's about to happen next is harder to forget. Even when I've lived up till this moment to tell you, the things happening later and the words said were getting much more clearer. It is as if it happened just yesterday.
"Hehe, yeah, it was awesome like that, ya know right, yeah?" questioned the first guy.
"Duh, it was so obvious!" The second guy said it loudly, waving his hands up high in the air.
"Ya not kiddin' me right? He went flying around!" The first guy suddenly jerked forward, enthusiasm written on his forehead.
There were lots of laughter coming from the second guy and he suddenly asked the third guy, "Yo dude, whatcha spacin' out for?"
It was then when the first and second guy turned their head towards where the third guy was looking, which was right at me. I shied backwards. Sweat started trickling down the side of my head again. My thoughts back then was, "Shit, I totally ruined their conversation..."
The third guy started to stand up, smiling kindly. He walked towards me. My feet refused to move an inch. I gulped, eyes locked with the guy's. My body stiffened.
"Hi, what's a pretty little lady like you doing here?" the third guy questioned.
"Uh...Uh... Nothing. Walking," I stuttered my way through the whole sentence.
We started talking. The more he continued his friendly chatter, the more comfortable I grew to chatting with him.
Suddenly, he asked a surprising question.
"Can you go out with me?"
"Y-Yes!" was all I managed to say. I did not expect this. He was a fat guy but his friendliness at that time tricked me into thinking that he was naturally like that.
I smiled and said that it was time I leave the place or else my family would be worried.
I skipped happily back home. What a treat, I suddenly have a new friend who is also at the same time my first boyfriend.
Things went smoothly. Ever since then, I met up with him a few times even though I sometimes get this chill down my spine whenever he smiles. It is as if his smiles slowly turn into something sinister. My family did not know of him but warned me to never go near the building when I told them of its beauty. They would not tell me why but only warned me not to go near it.
Of course I ignored their words.
Days passed peacefully. It was like floating in the sky and at the same time picking off a bit of the clouds like they are cotton candy.
One day, my grandma managed to somehow find out where I have been escaping to in order to let the boredom go away.
I was strictly forbidden to simply leave the house but after things cooled down, I sneaked out.
Meeting him slowly began to give me tension. I started to not look forward to seeing him. He no longer really smiles at me but just smirks at me. Always looking me not in the eye. I do not even want to recall where he looked at.
I despised myself for feeling and thinking that way. I thought I was too ungrateful that I have this opportunity to actually be in a relationship. Chances like this never come by.
My grandma once dragged me home when she caught me going out with him.
Come to think of it, I do not think I ever got to know the guy's name. I am not sure whether he knows mine though.
Of course my family were furious when the news got to their ears. Got an earful as well. I was once again forbidden to get near that place but this time, they sounded a whole lot more serious that it managed to convince me 80%.
Still, I went to see him one last time.
After I told him everything, he slowly became the person whom I met on that first day. He was really nice. I enjoyed keeping him company. Having my family take that piece of fun from me would be too cruel. No, this cannot just end like this.
I quietly left and went back home. It was trouble trying to hide my smile.
The very next day, I drove the car illegally. He promised to meet me there in the evening. From there, we can be together. I was thinking he would take me away forever. When I said I drove the car illegally, I meant that I did not have any license. I have no driving experience but from watching my family drive the car, I remembered everything one needs to do in order to drive.
I got my way there safely. Not a scratch on the car, let alone me. I stayed in the car with the car idle in front of the arch. No one was at the resting place. The building looked quiet from the outside. Never have I once been in there.
I waited. Waited and waited. Seconds turned to minutes. Before you know it, it was already night time. I could hear crickets. I think I must have fell asleep for a little moment while waiting. He was nowhere to be found by the time I woke up from the nap. I started feeling this chill. What if someone came and abduct me? The guy will be blamed instead of the one who abducted me.
A teal-coloured car slowed down right beside my car. I had a bad feeling, like something nasty is going to come and harm me. Just when I looked on my right, there he was. He was driving alone in the car. I no longer felt the friendliness emanating from him. His smirk was really frightening. I could not scream. I quickly took my handphone out then.
There you go, you have almost the full story already.
I pressed "Search" carelessly in my phonebook. My heart was racing. I could hear my own heart banging in my rib cage. I had no time to scroll down to find "Grandma" in the list of names. I tried with effort to get the "G" typed in but my fingers were clammy with sweat. I was shivering. My fingers kept doing the wrong thing. Knowing I have a slim chance of escaping, I must try all I can to survive in this nerve-wrecking situation.
There I was, wondering where grandma was. I could not let go of my handphone. My left hand clutched it really hard. Letting the handphone go would mean letting my only escape go. Therefore, my life would end right there and then. I know he will be right beside me in the car in no time if I dropped the phone or got distracted in the slightest. You could say it was not bad for a fat guy like him...
I struggled and struggled. Finally, I got her name right and pressed the green button to call grandma.
Whatever happened next was a blur but I am no longer living in the same place anymore. No one would let me know what happened. I just know I was in a hospital. I never went back to school for a long time when the holidays ended. My friends would be horribly mistaken if they ever thought I had been too busy being on vacation.
What I learnt from this lesson was that I should NEVER trust strangers so easily. I have problems when being around people I do not know. That guy taught me this. I still fear that he will appear before me again.
So to avoid this happening to you, do not be desperate and do not trust people like him so easily.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Real Life ~ Concert's Coming!
This Sunday's already the concert! Gah, what do I do?! I am practising but I feel that the more I practise, the worse it sounds. Dx In fact, I started criticizing EVERY notes I played. Lol. Like how the bow shouldn't be held this and that, like how the note should sound another way. Bla, bla, bla. Surely there are others who are like me anyways. xD This is for sure! ;P
It seems like my accompanist is an adult. =/ Hmm... I think I get along with kids younger than me a whole lot better as long as they are understanding and that they can understand speech. xD I will only see my accompanist on that day itself. The concert starts at 3PM or something and I have to be there by 2:15PM to rehearse with the accompanist. Jeez, I hope I can get along well with him/her. I have a hunch the accompanist's a lady. xD Why am I imagining long dyed red curly hair? Also, a light colour long-sleeved shirt almost the colour of peach-white matching a dark green skirt below knee length? And... a pair of black stockings/leggings with a pair of black shoes...? Lol, what's with this? I imagine the accompanist to be like that and also middle-aged. I think I will most likely laugh if I got it all right! LOL!
Can't say that the combination of look I just mentioned was good though... Oh well, it sure fitted the imaginary middle-aged female accompanist's image. By the way, her dyed red hair has faded and began to be slightly brown. xD Haha...
Then again, my accompanist might be a young lady almost my age but 18 and above. Maybe in her mid-twenties? Gosh, if that were to be it, I hope she and I can rock every audiences' world! xD After all, the song is meant to be seductive. =P The dress code is not formal (not sure whether I've already mentioned this) so... I am gonna wear one of the new shirts. It's not red, green or white like Christmas. OK? xD
Holy crap... I wasted 3 paragraphs on an accompanist (2 to be exact) I imagined! xD
Also gonna get ready for Chinese New Year's performance in case I have/am allowed to. That's what I'll do after the concert, if it went well.
I hurt my left arm from practising. It began to hurt more yesterday after coming back from my cousin's house. After putting the cooling sticker on, it got better. Phew. It started hurting again when my practice was almost ending this morning. (>..<)
The ABRSM exam pieces were somehow addictive to keep on playing so... I feel that I've not given enough attention to the songs I am supposed to focus on in Eta Cohen. xD Haha... No worries, my teacher gave me about 5 hard songs to play. I am not sure of the counting for every song except the first. YouTube doesn't have the simple version I am learning now so it's gonna be a hassle. This week's violin lesson would be the last until January. The concert is the day after the violin lesson.
I've planned what to wear weeks ago. Today, just planned when to apply the hair conditioner or whatever that was. Also confirmed which bowing to use for the whole song and again try to improvise the song without changing the speed and notes.
The only thing left is to stop making those annoying mistakes. xD
I've tried out how the violin would sound like with the mute on. It sounded... muffled and makes my ear confused. Still, I use the clothes-pegs since I do not have my own mute. My teacher let me tried out how a real mute is like last week. Clothes-pegs are not good enough. After the vibrations, they end up moving to either left or right side, never staying in its place. =/ I notice that the pegs follow my bowing direction. xD How funny.
Horoscopes said my weekends would be good so... I hope it is right about that. Dx
Last week's horoscopes on weekends was wrong for me. It said I would be able to impress people. I thought of certain things that might have happened to end up being like that but I guess it did not turn out like that at all... I felt foolish trying to figure out what it meant. Oh well, maybe it worked for others. xD
Hehe, this post is once again mainly about violins and concert. I think I do not care whether I occupy the whole post about only violins because once school starts, many other topics will be covered. 'Believe me!' <--- Copying Naruto. xD
Have been watching the anime "Hayate the Combat Butler (Hayate no Gotoku!)". The anime is better than the manga to me. xD Funny at certain parts but I really want to see less of those hentai moments. I have a feeling Season 2 is gonna be filled with more hentai moments. Nooo...
Gonna go rest. Maybe a nap or a book. Still tired even though should have had about 10 hours of sleep every night. =/
Take care and have fun~! (Look, I didn't forget to say it after not blogging for so long! =D)
It seems like my accompanist is an adult. =/ Hmm... I think I get along with kids younger than me a whole lot better as long as they are understanding and that they can understand speech. xD I will only see my accompanist on that day itself. The concert starts at 3PM or something and I have to be there by 2:15PM to rehearse with the accompanist. Jeez, I hope I can get along well with him/her. I have a hunch the accompanist's a lady. xD Why am I imagining long dyed red curly hair? Also, a light colour long-sleeved shirt almost the colour of peach-white matching a dark green skirt below knee length? And... a pair of black stockings/leggings with a pair of black shoes...? Lol, what's with this? I imagine the accompanist to be like that and also middle-aged. I think I will most likely laugh if I got it all right! LOL!
Can't say that the combination of look I just mentioned was good though... Oh well, it sure fitted the imaginary middle-aged female accompanist's image. By the way, her dyed red hair has faded and began to be slightly brown. xD Haha...
Then again, my accompanist might be a young lady almost my age but 18 and above. Maybe in her mid-twenties? Gosh, if that were to be it, I hope she and I can rock every audiences' world! xD After all, the song is meant to be seductive. =P The dress code is not formal (not sure whether I've already mentioned this) so... I am gonna wear one of the new shirts. It's not red, green or white like Christmas. OK? xD
Holy crap... I wasted 3 paragraphs on an accompanist (2 to be exact) I imagined! xD
Also gonna get ready for Chinese New Year's performance in case I have/am allowed to. That's what I'll do after the concert, if it went well.
I hurt my left arm from practising. It began to hurt more yesterday after coming back from my cousin's house. After putting the cooling sticker on, it got better. Phew. It started hurting again when my practice was almost ending this morning. (>.
The ABRSM exam pieces were somehow addictive to keep on playing so... I feel that I've not given enough attention to the songs I am supposed to focus on in Eta Cohen. xD Haha... No worries, my teacher gave me about 5 hard songs to play. I am not sure of the counting for every song except the first. YouTube doesn't have the simple version I am learning now so it's gonna be a hassle. This week's violin lesson would be the last until January. The concert is the day after the violin lesson.
I've planned what to wear weeks ago. Today, just planned when to apply the hair conditioner or whatever that was. Also confirmed which bowing to use for the whole song and again try to improvise the song without changing the speed and notes.
The only thing left is to stop making those annoying mistakes. xD
I've tried out how the violin would sound like with the mute on. It sounded... muffled and makes my ear confused. Still, I use the clothes-pegs since I do not have my own mute. My teacher let me tried out how a real mute is like last week. Clothes-pegs are not good enough. After the vibrations, they end up moving to either left or right side, never staying in its place. =/ I notice that the pegs follow my bowing direction. xD How funny.
Horoscopes said my weekends would be good so... I hope it is right about that. Dx
Last week's horoscopes on weekends was wrong for me. It said I would be able to impress people. I thought of certain things that might have happened to end up being like that but I guess it did not turn out like that at all... I felt foolish trying to figure out what it meant. Oh well, maybe it worked for others. xD
Hehe, this post is once again mainly about violins and concert. I think I do not care whether I occupy the whole post about only violins because once school starts, many other topics will be covered. 'Believe me!' <--- Copying Naruto. xD
Have been watching the anime "Hayate the Combat Butler (Hayate no Gotoku!)". The anime is better than the manga to me. xD Funny at certain parts but I really want to see less of those hentai moments. I have a feeling Season 2 is gonna be filled with more hentai moments. Nooo...
Gonna go rest. Maybe a nap or a book. Still tired even though should have had about 10 hours of sleep every night. =/
Take care and have fun~! (Look, I didn't forget to say it after not blogging for so long! =D)
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Real Life ~ Storm Gone For Lunch
Thank goodness today is fine. Yesterday's horoscopes told me that whoever or whatever that's holding me back will be revealed. I was worried that I might not want to know... =S The result's funny. Trust me. xD
Before going for the violin lesson, I was helping dad open the air-conditioner so that he can get hold of the filter to clean them or something. =/ I was short so I had no choice but to step on the sofa. As I turned my head back, I saw mom's face look upset. Wondered why but it turned out she did not like the sofa being creased...
What the hell...? I could have easily fall and broke my neck then die... And all you thought of was the sofa? My feelings were not hurt but I just dislike seeing that face of hers with that expression since it seems like I am forever making her do that expression. =/ Even if I tried real hard to escape scolding in a day, it never happens. I am sure there are hardly days without scolding or a face like that made. Miserable, right? Still, better than having no one to be with. =/
I was worried things would not be well at the lesson but I was looking forward to meeting that mysterious accompanist. For the whole week, I started liking the idea of playing with an accompanist. Just only hoping that things turn out smoothly (as usual) and that I can get along well with him/her.
My teacher's room (the usual room where I have lessons) was quiet. Surely no one was there learning before me...? I waited for my student card as the fees were being paid.
By the time I saw my teacher waving at me, telling me to get in for lesson, I could not wait for the card anymore. In I went.
Before that, there was a curious guy wandering everywhere in the music centre. He followed mom and I up there but did no harm as far as I know. He saw me playing the violin. Jeez. I hated how I sort of messed up "Gavotte In D by J.S Bach" at the start. Luckily he only saw me when I played La Cumparista. xD Then again, it did not mean that he hadn't heard the horrific start. My mind suddenly went many places. Dunno why. xD Hey, maybe my brain is a time traveler. xD
My teacher suddenly seem to be teaching a whole lot more better today. =o He was a whole lot more particular but I like it this way. xD
He actually pointed out a tiny mistake I didn't catch when I played La Cumparista for him. Guess I gotta remember that. xD
Last night, I prepared about 8 questions to ask him. After all, I kept forgetting what to ask. He was astounded when he heard how many questions there were gonna be. I managed to get 2 questions answered. Haha.
It turned out that skill he taught me last week was known as "spiccato". He said that the skill is not for me yet but that's weird, it was used in a Grade 4 song and including the first ABRSM Grade 5 exam piece I am learning now. Damn that Garde 5 exam piece is tough. xD To be honest, Alexandra Wood probably did not follow everything the sheet music said. After all, not everyone follows it as long as it still sounds like how it should be. Since she's obviously over Grade 8, why should she use the usual staccato? =P Even my teacher does what she did for the CD. xD Haha.
Things went really well for lesson today though I have yet to see my accompanist and gotta make sure the date of concert is still the same. I remember hearing someone said December 19th, not December 18th. =/ Looks like it's back to 7 questions now. xD Hope I remember to ask.
When playing maple, suddenly this dude wanted to party me so OK, fine, I did. He was rude and he went missing just because 2x exp was over. Really, I do not know what to say. I intended to save potions and just do my quest but I ended up getting 200+ ligator skin for nothing... Damn him but thanks to him, I got to 40% not long after that. Still wished I didn't have to use a lot of potions on that though. @.@ He was lvl 32 and I was lvl 55. =/ Oh well. And so, he is the one holding me back today. Lol. Didn't think it would be from Maple. xD
OK, gonna read manga. Do not feel like saying anymore. Sorry. =P
Take care and have fun~! ^^
Before going for the violin lesson, I was helping dad open the air-conditioner so that he can get hold of the filter to clean them or something. =/ I was short so I had no choice but to step on the sofa. As I turned my head back, I saw mom's face look upset. Wondered why but it turned out she did not like the sofa being creased...
What the hell...? I could have easily fall and broke my neck then die... And all you thought of was the sofa? My feelings were not hurt but I just dislike seeing that face of hers with that expression since it seems like I am forever making her do that expression. =/ Even if I tried real hard to escape scolding in a day, it never happens. I am sure there are hardly days without scolding or a face like that made. Miserable, right? Still, better than having no one to be with. =/
I was worried things would not be well at the lesson but I was looking forward to meeting that mysterious accompanist. For the whole week, I started liking the idea of playing with an accompanist. Just only hoping that things turn out smoothly (as usual) and that I can get along well with him/her.
My teacher's room (the usual room where I have lessons) was quiet. Surely no one was there learning before me...? I waited for my student card as the fees were being paid.
By the time I saw my teacher waving at me, telling me to get in for lesson, I could not wait for the card anymore. In I went.
Before that, there was a curious guy wandering everywhere in the music centre. He followed mom and I up there but did no harm as far as I know. He saw me playing the violin. Jeez. I hated how I sort of messed up "Gavotte In D by J.S Bach" at the start. Luckily he only saw me when I played La Cumparista. xD Then again, it did not mean that he hadn't heard the horrific start. My mind suddenly went many places. Dunno why. xD Hey, maybe my brain is a time traveler. xD
My teacher suddenly seem to be teaching a whole lot more better today. =o He was a whole lot more particular but I like it this way. xD
He actually pointed out a tiny mistake I didn't catch when I played La Cumparista for him. Guess I gotta remember that. xD
Last night, I prepared about 8 questions to ask him. After all, I kept forgetting what to ask. He was astounded when he heard how many questions there were gonna be. I managed to get 2 questions answered. Haha.
It turned out that skill he taught me last week was known as "spiccato". He said that the skill is not for me yet but that's weird, it was used in a Grade 4 song and including the first ABRSM Grade 5 exam piece I am learning now. Damn that Garde 5 exam piece is tough. xD To be honest, Alexandra Wood probably did not follow everything the sheet music said. After all, not everyone follows it as long as it still sounds like how it should be. Since she's obviously over Grade 8, why should she use the usual staccato? =P Even my teacher does what she did for the CD. xD Haha.
Things went really well for lesson today though I have yet to see my accompanist and gotta make sure the date of concert is still the same. I remember hearing someone said December 19th, not December 18th. =/ Looks like it's back to 7 questions now. xD Hope I remember to ask.
When playing maple, suddenly this dude wanted to party me so OK, fine, I did. He was rude and he went missing just because 2x exp was over. Really, I do not know what to say. I intended to save potions and just do my quest but I ended up getting 200+ ligator skin for nothing... Damn him but thanks to him, I got to 40% not long after that. Still wished I didn't have to use a lot of potions on that though. @.@ He was lvl 32 and I was lvl 55. =/ Oh well. And so, he is the one holding me back today. Lol. Didn't think it would be from Maple. xD
OK, gonna read manga. Do not feel like saying anymore. Sorry. =P
Take care and have fun~! ^^
Friday, December 3, 2010
Real Life ~ Slapping Surprises
CAUTION: IF YOU'RE EFFING POSITIVE, DO NOT READ THIS! I BEG YOU!
I HATE slapping surprises that leave a person depressed for days. Even minutes of it is bad enough. Hmph!
Just when you come around thinking that you've done quite well, deserve a pat on the back, words of tiny genuine praises, you get none of these shit.
Wow did I have a shitty day yesterday (or something). Do not get me wrong. I would LOVE to tell you what happened but since I decided not to make that person uneasy or anything, I will not say anything about it. That is, if he even noticed it. Jeez.
So... I made something that should be much more peaceful for me. And also good for my own heart that somehow seems dead when not around my violin. NO MORE COMMENTS ON YOUTUBE! Well, only applicable for my own violin videos. That latest one may be my last one.
I found something wrong with my cam. *fakes a smile*
How could I have not noticed anything like that from the start? Double stoppings cannot be done with a cam like that. Silly me. I have done this before and seem to think others understand what's wrong and that no one's at fault for that.
It sounded as if I violently killed someone in the videos with double stoppings. =/
Once, I remember seeing a youtuber comment on others' violin video, saying that a good video quality with violin playing will make a person's ear bleed. It's true. I've listened to a great guy's performance in the video and his violin playing made my ears feel like it is going to burst and bleed. Terribly painful. =S Haha. But a friggin' good song. =D
So... As I go further, the songs are gonna get harder, what with all the double stoppings and whatnot. That's going to be a big problem when I want to upload the video, right? Besides, the thought of it just made me realize that the cam does not show how my actual playing sounds like. Thus, ruining the true sound of my violin (and not making video watchers' ears bleed =P).
Because of that, I decided that no matter how long I wait to be 100% ready to play a song, things will never be better. My feelings will be crushed in the end including my pride and the little confidence I achieved so far. *pouts*
Still, I want to blame my last minute fear and lack of confidence when in front of the cam. I wish that people would not bother what facial expressions I make whenever I play, including my family AND friends.
Simon Cowell proved me something. He said on The Oprah's Show that he gets depressed suddenly. When he gets to be like that, he does not want to talk to anyone and no one should go near him. That part is so like me. Problem is, I am not an adult and I cannot support myself yet. My only possible time to be really alone is at night when I (try to) go to sleep. Simon told us that there's no particular reason for his sudden depression. He just gets dark and moody.
Sadly, when I told mom that I could be like that, she just said I am a teenager with stupid mood swings. You know what? Can people just forget the fact that I am a teenager? Can people just think of me as a human? No age to think about. JUST PLAIN EFFING HUMAN, DAMMIT!
If it really were to be a mood swing. Goodness knows what I would actually do when it happens. If my mood swung towards sorrow, I get so down that I could ruin everything in my life forever, including killing myself or others. If I suddenly became angry, I become violent. I would start wanting to KILL people around me for maybe simply sneezing or talking to me at the wrong time or maybe just clearing his/her throat at the wrong time. When I become happy for no reason, I laugh and shout, annoying people in the process, like as if I am drunk when no alcohol is needed. See? This is why I really think I should see someone who is professional enough to help me.
At least Simon Cowell let me know that I am not alone being like that. ='[
Today, I am not mapling at night. Just online in the afternoon to see what there is to do. Yay, I am Blade Specialist in Maple. =D And... it's retarded how I do not know where to get that damn Mastery Book to level "Slash Storm". =/ Because of that, I can only get to 5th level. Oh well... It was a nice and useful skill though. T.T I am sure I ruined all my skills. Why is it that I can never add a skill or Ability Points correctly without referring to others' advice? xD
Reading "Love In The Mask" now. It's a Korean Manhwa. I usually prefer Japanese Mangas because their drawing is cuter and nicer in a way but a Korean's manhwa is detailed in a way though I do not like how certain things drawn are as if copied and pasted. Example, a real city with buildings and advertisements.
Oh well, Koreans' manhwa can get really dramatic like their dramas and all but it's still nice to read.
Not feeling so well... My heart (really heart this time, not chest pain) hurt quite a number of times this evening. Weird... Surely I did not stress myself too much? ;P Heck, let's not worry too much.
As usual, take care and have fun~!^^ Do that for me please! =P
I HATE slapping surprises that leave a person depressed for days. Even minutes of it is bad enough. Hmph!
Just when you come around thinking that you've done quite well, deserve a pat on the back, words of tiny genuine praises, you get none of these shit.
Wow did I have a shitty day yesterday (or something). Do not get me wrong. I would LOVE to tell you what happened but since I decided not to make that person uneasy or anything, I will not say anything about it. That is, if he even noticed it. Jeez.
So... I made something that should be much more peaceful for me. And also good for my own heart that somehow seems dead when not around my violin. NO MORE COMMENTS ON YOUTUBE! Well, only applicable for my own violin videos. That latest one may be my last one.
I found something wrong with my cam. *fakes a smile*
How could I have not noticed anything like that from the start? Double stoppings cannot be done with a cam like that. Silly me. I have done this before and seem to think others understand what's wrong and that no one's at fault for that.
It sounded as if I violently killed someone in the videos with double stoppings. =/
Once, I remember seeing a youtuber comment on others' violin video, saying that a good video quality with violin playing will make a person's ear bleed. It's true. I've listened to a great guy's performance in the video and his violin playing made my ears feel like it is going to burst and bleed. Terribly painful. =S Haha. But a friggin' good song. =D
So... As I go further, the songs are gonna get harder, what with all the double stoppings and whatnot. That's going to be a big problem when I want to upload the video, right? Besides, the thought of it just made me realize that the cam does not show how my actual playing sounds like. Thus, ruining the true sound of my violin (and not making video watchers' ears bleed =P).
Because of that, I decided that no matter how long I wait to be 100% ready to play a song, things will never be better. My feelings will be crushed in the end including my pride and the little confidence I achieved so far. *pouts*
Still, I want to blame my last minute fear and lack of confidence when in front of the cam. I wish that people would not bother what facial expressions I make whenever I play, including my family AND friends.
Simon Cowell proved me something. He said on The Oprah's Show that he gets depressed suddenly. When he gets to be like that, he does not want to talk to anyone and no one should go near him. That part is so like me. Problem is, I am not an adult and I cannot support myself yet. My only possible time to be really alone is at night when I (try to) go to sleep. Simon told us that there's no particular reason for his sudden depression. He just gets dark and moody.
Sadly, when I told mom that I could be like that, she just said I am a teenager with stupid mood swings. You know what? Can people just forget the fact that I am a teenager? Can people just think of me as a human? No age to think about. JUST PLAIN EFFING HUMAN, DAMMIT!
If it really were to be a mood swing. Goodness knows what I would actually do when it happens. If my mood swung towards sorrow, I get so down that I could ruin everything in my life forever, including killing myself or others. If I suddenly became angry, I become violent. I would start wanting to KILL people around me for maybe simply sneezing or talking to me at the wrong time or maybe just clearing his/her throat at the wrong time. When I become happy for no reason, I laugh and shout, annoying people in the process, like as if I am drunk when no alcohol is needed. See? This is why I really think I should see someone who is professional enough to help me.
At least Simon Cowell let me know that I am not alone being like that. ='[
Today, I am not mapling at night. Just online in the afternoon to see what there is to do. Yay, I am Blade Specialist in Maple. =D And... it's retarded how I do not know where to get that damn Mastery Book to level "Slash Storm". =/ Because of that, I can only get to 5th level. Oh well... It was a nice and useful skill though. T.T I am sure I ruined all my skills. Why is it that I can never add a skill or Ability Points correctly without referring to others' advice? xD
Reading "Love In The Mask" now. It's a Korean Manhwa. I usually prefer Japanese Mangas because their drawing is cuter and nicer in a way but a Korean's manhwa is detailed in a way though I do not like how certain things drawn are as if copied and pasted. Example, a real city with buildings and advertisements.
Oh well, Koreans' manhwa can get really dramatic like their dramas and all but it's still nice to read.
Not feeling so well... My heart (really heart this time, not chest pain) hurt quite a number of times this evening. Weird... Surely I did not stress myself too much? ;P Heck, let's not worry too much.
As usual, take care and have fun~!^^ Do that for me please! =P
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