Real Life ~ Late Violin Update

I apologize once again for not updating this earlier. xD

You can say it's because I have been busy in a way and that I keep forgetting to tell you. xD

Let's start with what I can remember...

I'm Grade 4 now. My teacher ended up making me pay the Grade 4 fees whether I took theory or not. I thought I could stay paying the same price as long as I did not take theory but I guess this is probably different from piano though I took theory when I learned piano in the past. @.@ OK, sorry for those who've I just confused just now. xD

The fees are now a hundred and sixty-five per month as long as I am still Grade 4. I am not surprised but then again, I was hoping that it would be a bit more cheaper. Dx Oh yeah, now come to think of it, I think I have an answer as to why I could not do well with piano in the past. Maybe it was because I didn't practise everyday. Also, I didn't appreciate music enough at that time so of course I would not take the initiative to get better but to hope that I could stop piano at that age. Just think about it, I started piano at about 4 years old and stopped at 9 years old. For most of the kids these days, they can surely do better and get to a further grade. As for me, I only got to Grade 3 at the age of 9. I feel tremendously stupid and lame... Maybe learning theory slowed me down but to start playing an instrument without knowing the basics like theory ain't gonna help either. xD OK, OK. I admit it! I was SLOW! xD There, I said it.

My mom thinks that my teacher simply lets me get to another Grade without bothering what Grade I SHOULD be in. Man, I feel so heartbroken hearing that! I felt so insulted... It's like, after all the crazy months of practising, I do not deserve to be in Grade 4 even when I am ALREADY playing Grade 4 songs! She kept asking what grade of songs I am playing. Urgh, does nothing strike her that whatever she said could really hurt my feelings? She said that maybe another teacher wouldn't think I am suitable for that grade. =/ Damn her. Yeah, I suck at counting. I am more of a soloist. I play better by ear, which is why my counting sucked. I play faster when I shouldn't have most of the time and slow down at the wrong time once in awhile. Loom the bright side, at least I could play fast. xD

When I was still in Grade 1 or 2, I remember my teacher giving my these 4th finger exercises. He would keep increasing the speed and I had to rush to make sure my 4th finger (the pinky finger) could accurately press the right spot. Haha, it was a hassle but it was pretty fun. He said I was quit close to being Grade 4 speed. After he said that, he used the metronome to let me know the actual speed. He let me try again but it still wouldn't. I was pretty sat at that moment but knowing how much big a gap that would be just made me think it would be a waste. After all, to suddenly play simple songs to a probably scary and nerve-wrecking song? What the heck is that, man?!

Anyways, the 4th finger is not much of a problem anymore. Now my problem is this lil skill that needs all fingers to be able to slide a wider distance when playing a song. I must not slow down when sliding and I must stop at the right place. Well, even after all those months of playing, my finger will still get injured from all that sliding. xD Wait, wrong expression. T.T Now that's more like it! Haha. My problem is with the 1st and 2nd finger. 1st finger(index finger) at the 4th string (G) as I have problem sliding back into place. My thumb has to be at the right place and the right place would hurt my ENTIRE left arm. Guess what? my left arm has been hurting for the past few days! ^^ Lol, don't ask me why I used that facial expression. As for the 2nd finger(your favorite-MIDDLE finger) at the Bb of the 4th string. It hurts... What's worse is that I snipped the skin, forgetting that I have not practised yet this morning. I was prepared for the worst but luckily, it was bearable. xD *thumbs up*

My violinist friend wanted to perform the song "Czardas" on the day of my school principal's retirement. When she heard about me wanting to perform too, she started pestering me about playing that song with her and maybe her sis as well. Holy crap, NO WAY! After watching the video of that song yesterday, I know very well that I am NOT ready whatsoever for that song! She doesn't seem to remember that I just started violin this year, does she? xD

Oh well, my obsession for violin drives people away so I guess they sometimes forget how long I've been with Autumn. xD

Today, I practised the sliding thing again and partly because of the hot weather, my mood was bad too. Not to mention the patience as well. Every mistake, I sighed and cursed with what breath I have left. Damn it! I almost wanted to smash anything in my way. I played in the living room today. You won't believe me, the hallway's too warm that it's like Sahara Desert! What a pity, I was planning to make videos today as well. Oh well, not that the violin playing would be nice either. With my current mood, Hell gate's gonna open. xD My old spectacles had problem last night and today, when I tried to fix it, I got pissed that I snapped it. Hey, don't blame me, I was already in a bad mood the second my eyes opened wide this morning. Wait, that's not an excuse, THIS is: it rotted and turned green from all the years of sweat so it's no surprise that it finally twisted last night. =x

I already "fixed" it with tape and well, I didn't do a terrific job of that so it's hard to wear the old specs now. I will let my dad fix it. That is, IF it is STILL fixable. xD Any of you wonder how I feel about that? (No.) Oh OK, never mind then. Kidding! I do not feel guilty or anything. The old specs is definitely older than 3 years. It's made of metal and it does not fit my age anymore either. Oh come on, it was Winnie The Pooh for crying out loud! xD Sometimes, the "new and improved" old specs made me itch so it did not help with my mood or patience. Dx

Thanks to all the above excuses given, I do pizzicato better than bowing. =/

I was really discouraged by today's practice, if you must know. =[ I hated how I wanted to destroy EVERYTHING. The house, the... the... the... vio....lin... YES, I WAS THAT ANGRY! THAT FRUSTRATED! So pissed that I cannot do any better. Now, I am better because I realize today's just Tuesday and that he didn't give too much for me to nail in a week. I just gotta get that one Grade 4 song nailed and that mainly 2 pages of 'new' skills done. As for the weird exercise and song on the 2nd page, screw them! I am gonna get myself done with the rest first before moving onto them. xD

Wanna apologize to Autumn for today's inhuman behavior. Thank goodness she is still in one piece. xD It's not her fault that the songs played do not sound as good at the ones played in the afternoon. =/

Oh well, I will shut up now.

Look on the bright side, there's still time to improve until next year. I've set this goal of reaching Grade 8 by the end of next year. Starting next year, life must be filled with 'lemons' because of the difficulty of subjects. the year after next year, Hell gate surely must be constantly open and there will be my final Big Exam for high school life too. That year's gonna be busy as faeces that I do not dare to picture it. Surely my life would be better if I followed my violinist friend's footsteps: think nothing but violin as the only career but think Language and Maths as something important.

Sorry but I don't want to fail my other subjects, violinist friend! xD I cannot afford to be exactly like her. Seriously, I mean it financially and.... parent-ially? Lol.

Heck with it, music can never be my one and only career as much as I wish for it! =(

Come psychology, come to me! xD That is one of the only things I can do better at alone among my group of friends. Listen here, I do not want to clash with any of them. Music's obviously taken so that leaves psychology. There's also my plan B! xD

Damn, I think too much. I promise to shut up now! Haha.

Take care and have fun~! ^^