Chinese New Year is coming soon. I only look forward to performing though I am hesitating. Many reasons for that. I am not really looking forward to the red packets. I Just feel too shy to accept. =/
I've been doing last minute arrangement of songs to perform. I might be doing 11 songs. 10 songs for Chinese New Year and 1 song for my grandmother's birthday. Lately she had been overworking. I feel bad for her because no one's really appreciating it all. There were misunderstandings and fights ever since holiday started so... I worry that there would be a tense atmosphere by the time I get there to visit them. As long as I was not in the fight, I'd be OK, right? Well... Wish it really is like that. Dx Oh yeah, was it selfish to think that way?
Haven't been doing too well with the violin. I refused to practise one song. It's a little bit hard to understand. Really do not want to learn the wrong thing on my own and to have to relearn later on when I know it's wrong. This happened before in the past. Relearning was like a nightmare, I tell you. I regretted like God-Knows-What!
I just chosen the 11th song to perform today. I doubt I will be able to learn it up in time. Well, I could since I've memorized it before in the past. I just forgotten the full song now. The thing is, I cannot concentrate when I look at the sheet music. xD
My mom just found out hers and my BaZi profiling. I wanted to check it out last year but could not get to because you had to register e-mail and all those shit. It gets annoying so I do not wanna register. There are quite a few of BaZi profiles. At that time, I read "The Performer" for fun since I dreamed of having that as my profile. I wondered at that time if I were to be really that. Seriously, my friend asked me what my dream was and for the first time in so many years, I was unsure of my true dream. I knew I do not really stand a chance in music. I worry I am fickle minded in writing and literature. Again, I worry I find learning psychology boring. The cool stuffs start after you get a good case. Usually, you only get to see psychologists on the go when they handle cool stuffs. I am very much interested in split personalities. Don't ask me why. Even I have no clue. So anyways, I just answered my friend that my dream is to be a musician/violinist BUT it's a dream that cannot be fulfilled. My friends were bewildered to hear that because they find it impossible to not be since I am already learning the violin.
So anyways, in the end, my BaZi profiling is The Performer. I still cannot believe it. You have to give the full detail like your birth date, time and year. I didn't know my time so I couldn't even if I did register.
I still do not believe it... xD
Oh well~
Do any of you find it weird of me to be blogging now? I'm sorry it has been a long time. I just have no mood or time to blog. For your information, if you find any grammar mistakes or even spelling mistakes, let me know. I have been in quite a daze lately. =/
Have been sleeping at 12AM lately. =/ it's not good... but I just hardly have the time to actually sit down and enjoy the computer. It's either online self-study or some project. I am trying to stop self-studying for a moment. I've done a lot of self-study on History today and finished 2 BM essays. I remember doing one more thing but I forgotten. xD Lol. I was told to abandon the individual notes on Chemistry because I already have the big reference book. It's not cheap. >=/ I guess I really should abandon some subjects because I even have NO TIME to do my own workbook that I bought! Damn.
The thing I hate about holidays is that school and tuition take advantage of them. They think we do not have enough stress or work so they just give us many pieces of hell. Little did they know I do not feel the holiday mood at all. I still wake up early but not that early. I didn't sleep even when I could. It's because I was so busy thinking of work. There was one day after BM tuition, I was so caught up in my own work (even when I was exhausted) that I forgotten I have not even practised yet. I only realized that when I went to bed.
"Oh, I didn't practise today, did I?"
*laughs*
"Oh well."
*sleeps from exhaustion*
Haha. That's me. Well, the new me...? Coz in the past, violin is my first priority. Nothing else was more important. Thanks to violin, I care more about my health. xD
Oh, I am flooding my search engine with many mangas that my friend recommended. Gotta jet now. Bye!
Take care and have fun~!^^
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