I knew it. I really, really knew it.
After all that hard training, I don't really get any praises, let alone show people my progress. I am not allowed to bring Autumn along to perform for Chinese New Year.
So... I wasted my time learning "Song From A Secret Garden" last minute and another song for my grandmother's birthday. All for nothing. As expected.
This year's Chinese New Year's going to be ever so boring... Like last year...
Truth is, I can NEVER be who I really am when facing all my cousins. I have no choice but to cover my face with this mask that shows only the good side. I am not allowed to be human in front of everyone, am I?
Now, here I am, recovering from another disappointment. If they asked me why didn't I bring my violin along, I will have to put on this fake smile and say, "Oh, I am not sure you wanna hear my horrible playing!"
=.= Seriously, man! Do you expect me to answer them like that every year? As long as I am still breathing, I can never perform as I like, can I?
My only hope is YouTube left... With a useless cam that cannot record the double-stopping nicely. Eff it.
Just one day I will perform. I know I tend to hesitate last minute and screw up performances but if I just get to know the crowd, I might do better. That way, I can excel in performances, just like my violinist friend!
What a let down...
I cannot cry over this matter, can I?
Alright. Gonna go.
Take care and have fun~!^^ Happy Chinese New Year!^^
(P.S: I am not allowed because it would seem like I'm showing off when I just desperately need to get a few compliments to show I am not doing as bad as I thought)
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