Today's Independence Day. xD *weak yay* *dark aura appears*
I took advantage of this day and like any other holidays, I do the same thing- wake up at 9:30AM to practice violin. xD Haha, say whatever you like to YOURSELF! I know it's like I have no life of my own. =P
My dad suddenly came up and recorded some of my violin playing with his hand phone. After the violin playing, I watched it before doing another different one. Guess what? I did... very... very... *BIG GRIN* badly. xD Not that I'm saying the violin playing is bad. It's the facial expression and standing position. I looked sad (as if I was crying) or angry when I was playing a happy song! xD Lol! Well, I feel more like grumbling, not LOL-ing. xD
I was too focused to correct my expression. I tried smiling to see how much of a difference it would make. Well, it was much better, except the fact that I still looked nerdy with my old spectacles and ponytail hairstyle... At least the smile brighten up the video and not make the person watching feel like looking away. =x
I guess I must correct the standing and sitting position AND also facial expression, ESPECIALLY facial expression! Damn, other violinists have a weird look on their face when they play really seriously but boy do I have the WORST one ever. It's so hideous that you don't even want to look. xD
Oh well, correcting it is the best. I should try playing in front of the mirror. Playing in front of computer with reflection ain't good enough. I have mirror in my room but according to Feng Shui, I cannot make any noise in my room or else shit happens. Argh, I don't believe Feng Shui but my mom made me obey. Crap.
I sometimes play a bit in my parent's room but I never stayed long. I couldn't stand the heat either since I never switch on the fan. xD
There was once, even though I wasn't in a bad mood or anything, I played the violin looking all fired up and VERY angry. xD I saw it when trying out in parent's room. Damn, it scared myself too. Lol. I couldn't fix the expression since I was pretty much out of breath, which is why I looked so scary when I played.
Surely this is what's going through your mind: Violin, Violin, Violin! ALL violin! Nothing else?!
xD Hehe, sorry then, readers. I am just this madly obsessed violin freak. Not saying I play so well like a freak but as in this freak so caught up in the world of nothing but violin and music related things, which is why I think I am a boring person so I pity my friends and acquaintances for not being able to brag about having a VERY COOL person as their friend/acquaintance.
Gomenasai then, peeps out there! I am not cool enough for you all to brag about. =P
Still, I am working on my violin playing as well as fulfilling my goals. No worries, I am still determined to become a psychologist, just not feeling as desperate to become one immediately as when I first thought of being one. I have plan B in case I failed to get into Science stream... I'll go for journalism. I do not plan to tell my friends in case SOMEONE gets all hot-headed and started competing with me for no reason AGAIN. Urgh. Sorry to bring that up again.
Then again, some of my friends may have somehow stumbled across this post and found out my plan B, which is meant to be a secret, just that I was so stupid enough to reveal it in this post. Lol. I am going to read back the older posts after publishing this one. Never thought this post could be dragged this long though. @.@
Alright, sorry for being TOO carried away!
Went out for lunch after the violin practice. I started feeling more and more ugly. It started yesterday (Monday).
Don't wanna explain how the ugly feeling came back again. xD
Nothing much but mom gave me a bit of my own Merdeka. xD I just needed to correct my Maths mistakes though in the end, until now, I've yet to do so since mom's been busy and also to finish my Science tuition homework. I don't want to go to school tomorrow and same for the next 2 days. I still have to turn up for at least a day because I need to know when will school start after the holidays. xD
Dad told me there will be another real shopping trip during the holidays. Yay! I have been thinking of dominating Ikano and The Curve! I, once again, wanna ogle at the musical instruments and be unfaithful. I want to check out the price of a bow, Pachabel Canon (Canon In D) sheet music, mute and E String. E string is definitely what I need, in case the current E string suddenly snapped. xD I still have A string. Lol...
I know I most probably cannot ask at all since I do not have my parents' approval and I didn't tell them either, not that I dared to.
I think the best cheapest E String you can find is from Ikano. The one I got from Summit, which is the one I'm using now doesn't seem so good. It screeches on its own even though my fingers didn't touch it. Hmm, oh well. As long as the string is durable and sounds OK, I don't mind. I do not need to burden my parents any further. I have no right to even though none of us asked to be born. Sorry to sound ungrateful but it's true.
Still, I am glad to be able to get this chance to learn the violin. I remember last year, around November, I was this pathetic girl crying about her past mistakes, being ever so desperate to play the violin. I also remember doubting the chance to TOUCH a violin. That chance came when that miracle phone call (yes, it was a miracle phone call) from my dad approving of me learning the violin.
I was ever so freaking excited. I wasn't even prepared and still haven't re-learn how to read the musical notes yet. I only prepare myself mentally... xD Haha... I also remember promising myself that I would cry once I got my own violin, which, as expected, I didn't. I usually laugh whole day if I am really happy, not cry. xD
I took many pictures of my violin when I got the it on December 26th 2009. =] I named my violin as I was driven home on the way back from a pretty lame shopping trip. I remember trying many names. xD If I've not mistaken, I wanted to name it "Natsume", which is from the anime/manga "Gakuen Alice (Alice Academy)".
That name didn't get chosen because my violin looked like a girl to me. =x Yes, I am crazy to name it and think of it as a girl. So anyways, the colours of my violin reminded me of the season Autumn. That was how the name came about. The beautiful wood colour (made from maple tree or not), reddish-brown and oh man, I gotta shut up.
Hehe, sorry. Lol. Still, I am reluctant to go to school. SO reluctant I feel like throwing a fit. xD No, really...
Anyways, bye for now. Take care and have fun!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Real Life ~ Unfaithful
It's time for you readers to hit the play button for the song "Unfaithful by Rihanna"! Know why? Well, you'll NEVER know! Muahahahaha! Kidding. I just don't plan to let you know. Joking again- NOT!
First off, I wanna tell you all that I DON'T care how old that song is because it's nice and secondly, I am unfaithful to my violin, Autumn. Sorry, Autumn. It's not too late to make up, right? It's not like I got myself another violin either. xD
I am being a hypocrite now. This is because I love my violin with every beat of my heart (except the times when I get too pissed off for not being able to cooperate well with her and yes, Autumn is a HER) and yet I still say that other violins look better than mine and that I wished mine looked like them. =x
Today, my school had a few performances before classes start. What's the occasion, I hear you ask. It's top celebrate our country's INDEPENDENCE DAY! YAY- NOT! I still HAVE to do homework, probably tons just because it's a holiday. And who do I thank this for? Mom, of course. She was the reason I scored well/average in the exams but hell, I still HATE homework. I remember having a phobia of her calling me down when I am in the middle of my break time or sleeping. I even have a phobia of going back home! I dreaded those times when I had to sit down and start the horrific nightmare that never seem to know how to end. @.@
It took me years to finally get rid of both phobias but since this is the first time being in morning session in high school, my phobias slightly return. Thankfully, they're not as scary as before anymore. Phew~! I am still worried though. @.@
Back to topic, one of the performance which wasn't the best but stayed in my mind the whole day was the one where a girl played the violin as a background music. I do not mean to be nasty or arrogant but THE violin is queen of instruments. Ask any professional musician, they'll say that. Violin has the voice of a soperano, it's a singing voice. VIOLINS should be the one playing MELODY, not supporting some lame singer who couldn't sing in tune! At least the beat-boxer was MUCH better. I wanted to hear a much more amazing violin playing even though I was green with envy and jealousy! Her violin was beautiful (See? I am unfaithful) and also, she got to bring her violin to school! I miss my violin so much in school sometimes that I swear my heart clench tightly, waiting for the violin practice. Dramatic, much? Well, I hate to say this but for you readers who think that whatever I said earlier was too dramatic, suck it up because I ain't taking those words back. Hah!
Yeah, I am much nastier and sarcastic today. Don't blame me just yet (not that I have any excuse that I feel like sharing with you). This is just the day that I felt like showing the sour/bitter side of mine. Not that I dunno why but it's what happened today in school that sort of bugged me.
Hmm, I'll skip to violin practice part. xD
So I played the violin OK-ish. Not TOO proud, not TOO frustrated. The thing is, I cannot help but think back of what happened in school, as in the performance. While playing songs and thinking about that (totally not paying attention to the song since got them right already), I feel like a loser. No, more of jerk but it's meant for guys, mainly. Anyways, I felt bad for Autumn, I love her a lot but I just keep thinking of other beautiful violins.
I hate myself a lot for thinking like that. I know I have no right to think about new violins yet. I still need the markings to make sure I don't play the wrong part of the fingerboard. Yes, I admit I am being hasty. But no, I am not challenging anyone and I no longer want to surpass my violinist friend.
About my violinist friend, she has borderline personality disorder. She needs behavior therapy. I did not tell her that. Remember I made a deal with her about her teaching me violin while I teach her English? Yeah, well, I am secretly giving her my own way of behavior therapy to make sure she stays sane throughout her life, or at least as long as she's with me.
Fine, I am no psychologist (yet) and I have no qualification (yet) but I have my own strategy. It's a risk if I told you I am experimenting (putting it in a crude way) or simply put, TRYING to use my way of therapy on her. After all, it still ties with her life. If something goes wrong, her life might end. And well, by then, I can be blamed too.
Still, I am determined to give her one-on-one counseling sessions (if you can out it that way). I need to be with her alone in a quiet place with less distractions. We mainly need time. I am obviously not charging her. Lol. She doesn't even know what I am exactly doing. She thought I am only there to listen to all her problems and give an advice. No, I am going to try this the professional way as best as I can. I am going to make sure she heals and stop thinking about suicide or giving up.
There's teaching her English if possible and also the counseling sessions.
I've got a dilemma here though (if you can call this a dilemma since it's my first time using this word)... My other friend, who is same class as me, wants to talk to me but doesn't UNDERSTAND how serious this one-on-one session is. No one is to interrupt us or start saying hurtful things with or without any intention, which is what one-on-one sessions mean. xD
There's the violinist friend's sister. Sadly, according to my friend, all that sister ever talks about is KOREAN BANDS. Sorry but I don't fancy them and do not plan to, EVER! My friend wants to talk to me even though I find myself a relatively much MORE boring person.
My friend started saying she felt left out even though she and I will see one another in class after that and in fact, see one another once the bell rings. @.@
She started wondering out loud why couldn't the violinist friend open up to HER instead. My answer, which was violinist friend's answer, is because I play violin too and am into music (obsessed, thank you very much!). It's true that it is much easier to talk to someone whom you can relate to.
Do you think you will feel comfortable talking about your problems to someone who has no idea what it feels like? Sometimes, the listener will lose his/her patience and start cutting in between the talker's sentence. Not only that but also give remarks that will possibly hurt the talker's feelings slightly (or majorly for that matter) instead of an effective advice.
Sheesh, I just don't half gab, do I? Sorry, people. *Grins* Yeah, I'm no pro in this but I do know what it feels like and I do not want to go through these shit to prove to you how much I understand. =P
So anyways, that's what I am facing now. Don't worry, I am still studying, thanks to my mom again. Urgh. Lol.
Bye. Thanks for reading. Take care and have fun as always. =P
First off, I wanna tell you all that I DON'T care how old that song is because it's nice and secondly, I am unfaithful to my violin, Autumn. Sorry, Autumn. It's not too late to make up, right? It's not like I got myself another violin either. xD
I am being a hypocrite now. This is because I love my violin with every beat of my heart (except the times when I get too pissed off for not being able to cooperate well with her and yes, Autumn is a HER) and yet I still say that other violins look better than mine and that I wished mine looked like them. =x
Today, my school had a few performances before classes start. What's the occasion, I hear you ask. It's top celebrate our country's INDEPENDENCE DAY! YAY- NOT! I still HAVE to do homework, probably tons just because it's a holiday. And who do I thank this for? Mom, of course. She was the reason I scored well/average in the exams but hell, I still HATE homework. I remember having a phobia of her calling me down when I am in the middle of my break time or sleeping. I even have a phobia of going back home! I dreaded those times when I had to sit down and start the horrific nightmare that never seem to know how to end. @.@
It took me years to finally get rid of both phobias but since this is the first time being in morning session in high school, my phobias slightly return. Thankfully, they're not as scary as before anymore. Phew~! I am still worried though. @.@
Back to topic, one of the performance which wasn't the best but stayed in my mind the whole day was the one where a girl played the violin as a background music. I do not mean to be nasty or arrogant but THE violin is queen of instruments. Ask any professional musician, they'll say that. Violin has the voice of a soperano, it's a singing voice. VIOLINS should be the one playing MELODY, not supporting some lame singer who couldn't sing in tune! At least the beat-boxer was MUCH better. I wanted to hear a much more amazing violin playing even though I was green with envy and jealousy! Her violin was beautiful (See? I am unfaithful) and also, she got to bring her violin to school! I miss my violin so much in school sometimes that I swear my heart clench tightly, waiting for the violin practice. Dramatic, much? Well, I hate to say this but for you readers who think that whatever I said earlier was too dramatic, suck it up because I ain't taking those words back. Hah!
Yeah, I am much nastier and sarcastic today. Don't blame me just yet (not that I have any excuse that I feel like sharing with you). This is just the day that I felt like showing the sour/bitter side of mine. Not that I dunno why but it's what happened today in school that sort of bugged me.
Hmm, I'll skip to violin practice part. xD
So I played the violin OK-ish. Not TOO proud, not TOO frustrated. The thing is, I cannot help but think back of what happened in school, as in the performance. While playing songs and thinking about that (totally not paying attention to the song since got them right already), I feel like a loser. No, more of jerk but it's meant for guys, mainly. Anyways, I felt bad for Autumn, I love her a lot but I just keep thinking of other beautiful violins.
I hate myself a lot for thinking like that. I know I have no right to think about new violins yet. I still need the markings to make sure I don't play the wrong part of the fingerboard. Yes, I admit I am being hasty. But no, I am not challenging anyone and I no longer want to surpass my violinist friend.
About my violinist friend, she has borderline personality disorder. She needs behavior therapy. I did not tell her that. Remember I made a deal with her about her teaching me violin while I teach her English? Yeah, well, I am secretly giving her my own way of behavior therapy to make sure she stays sane throughout her life, or at least as long as she's with me.
Fine, I am no psychologist (yet) and I have no qualification (yet) but I have my own strategy. It's a risk if I told you I am experimenting (putting it in a crude way) or simply put, TRYING to use my way of therapy on her. After all, it still ties with her life. If something goes wrong, her life might end. And well, by then, I can be blamed too.
Still, I am determined to give her one-on-one counseling sessions (if you can out it that way). I need to be with her alone in a quiet place with less distractions. We mainly need time. I am obviously not charging her. Lol. She doesn't even know what I am exactly doing. She thought I am only there to listen to all her problems and give an advice. No, I am going to try this the professional way as best as I can. I am going to make sure she heals and stop thinking about suicide or giving up.
There's teaching her English if possible and also the counseling sessions.
I've got a dilemma here though (if you can call this a dilemma since it's my first time using this word)... My other friend, who is same class as me, wants to talk to me but doesn't UNDERSTAND how serious this one-on-one session is. No one is to interrupt us or start saying hurtful things with or without any intention, which is what one-on-one sessions mean. xD
There's the violinist friend's sister. Sadly, according to my friend, all that sister ever talks about is KOREAN BANDS. Sorry but I don't fancy them and do not plan to, EVER! My friend wants to talk to me even though I find myself a relatively much MORE boring person.
My friend started saying she felt left out even though she and I will see one another in class after that and in fact, see one another once the bell rings. @.@
She started wondering out loud why couldn't the violinist friend open up to HER instead. My answer, which was violinist friend's answer, is because I play violin too and am into music (obsessed, thank you very much!). It's true that it is much easier to talk to someone whom you can relate to.
Do you think you will feel comfortable talking about your problems to someone who has no idea what it feels like? Sometimes, the listener will lose his/her patience and start cutting in between the talker's sentence. Not only that but also give remarks that will possibly hurt the talker's feelings slightly (or majorly for that matter) instead of an effective advice.
Sheesh, I just don't half gab, do I? Sorry, people. *Grins* Yeah, I'm no pro in this but I do know what it feels like and I do not want to go through these shit to prove to you how much I understand. =P
So anyways, that's what I am facing now. Don't worry, I am still studying, thanks to my mom again. Urgh. Lol.
Bye. Thanks for reading. Take care and have fun as always. =P
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Real Life ~ Water Addict
Drinking too much water and constantly drinking like every 5 seconds can overstimulate your bladder. That was what I was told when I drank a lot.
Let's see... a bottle consisting of 800ml for every school day (Monday to Friday) plus about 4 bottles of 600ml water. Total: 800ml + (4 x 600ml) = ?
Do the math. =P The answer should be close to 1 litre of water if I have not mistaken from the last time I counted.
The thing is, I seem like water addict now. I just keep drinking and drinking non-stop after I started drinking. After I get all full, I still have the strong urge to keep drinking. There were numerous times already when I drank until I could explode.
It's all water, nothing added into it yet I still cannot stop drinking. In school, especially during exams, I just felt like drinking water without stopping. Because I drink up til the bottle is half full/half empty, I keep wanting to go to the toilet during the exams. I didn't dare to ask the teacher for fear of having anything gone or that the idiotic boys in my class laugh about something like that. I held it in until the school ended, which isn't good for the body but if you are wondering why couldn't I go during recess, it is because there were too many people. I cannot wait. I hate waiting. It's freaking ridiculous! There's the new Girls' toilet but then it's usually locked. See here, our school is stingy with their toilets. They do not let us use their teachers' toilet and they lock the toilet early in the morning and will only open somewhere around the time when my other friend came.
Enough about water. This post is the continuation of the previous post.
Went to Bukit Tinggi. That place is OK. I'll summarize.
- Had dinner at Secret Recipe
- Played the mini keyboard at the toy section (only the grand piano tone sounds nice!)
- Bought 2 Onigiri Yuna Mayo
The whole shopping trip was just so-so. Not like it was pure happiness but as a child in the family, it's still bearable.
I do not have much to say. I guess the previous post won.
The reason I am unable to talk much now is because I'm pretty tired. I just felt like reading the book again. I felt like living in the world of English while listening to class music.
Alright, going now then.
Bye. Take care and have fun again.
Let's see... a bottle consisting of 800ml for every school day (Monday to Friday) plus about 4 bottles of 600ml water. Total: 800ml + (4 x 600ml) = ?
Do the math. =P The answer should be close to 1 litre of water if I have not mistaken from the last time I counted.
The thing is, I seem like water addict now. I just keep drinking and drinking non-stop after I started drinking. After I get all full, I still have the strong urge to keep drinking. There were numerous times already when I drank until I could explode.
It's all water, nothing added into it yet I still cannot stop drinking. In school, especially during exams, I just felt like drinking water without stopping. Because I drink up til the bottle is half full/half empty, I keep wanting to go to the toilet during the exams. I didn't dare to ask the teacher for fear of having anything gone or that the idiotic boys in my class laugh about something like that. I held it in until the school ended, which isn't good for the body but if you are wondering why couldn't I go during recess, it is because there were too many people. I cannot wait. I hate waiting. It's freaking ridiculous! There's the new Girls' toilet but then it's usually locked. See here, our school is stingy with their toilets. They do not let us use their teachers' toilet and they lock the toilet early in the morning and will only open somewhere around the time when my other friend came.
Enough about water. This post is the continuation of the previous post.
Went to Bukit Tinggi. That place is OK. I'll summarize.
- Had dinner at Secret Recipe
- Played the mini keyboard at the toy section (only the grand piano tone sounds nice!)
- Bought 2 Onigiri Yuna Mayo
The whole shopping trip was just so-so. Not like it was pure happiness but as a child in the family, it's still bearable.
I do not have much to say. I guess the previous post won.
The reason I am unable to talk much now is because I'm pretty tired. I just felt like reading the book again. I felt like living in the world of English while listening to class music.
Alright, going now then.
Bye. Take care and have fun again.
Real Life ~ Oops, My Bad!
It really was my bad, the actual title of the book I was talking about in the previous post was "The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb.
I read it this morning and saw the title before reading. Sorry, people. xD Still, it's an amazing book and I am looking forward to reading more of his books. I want to read other books that teaches about psychology too! =P I hope that I remember the author's name correctly this time. xD Haha. I was sure I remembered seeing "Wally Lamb". Heh, my memory really sucks.
Alright, I am going to talk about what happened today like any old diary. In fact, I might as well write it in diary form and pretend that no one's gonna be able to read this at all. =P
Dear Diary,
I woke up in the morning many times. Once when it was about only 2:30AM. Twice when the sky was still dark then numerous times as the sky got brighter and brighter.
At 9AM, I could not take it anymore. I just could not sleep. Guess the maximum sleeping time of mine is 9 hours. I took up the big, fat, thick book. The one with the title "The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb. 700+ pages long. Could you believe it? It took me quite awhile to reach 200 nearing 300 pages! I must be getting to be a slow reader though it's not like I am rushing for anything. I am glad that I got to buy more novels from the bookstore not long ago, like last Saturday. Can't remember the date but heck with it.
Stopped reading at about 9:30AM but right before the alarm clock rang. I just pressed the button down before it made too much noise. Sound pollution, you know? Kidding. Went to the bathroom and bla bla bla. Breakfast and then came the long-awaited violin practice. As I marched up the stairs, I had no choice but to enter the "music room" as mom is still asleep and that I cannot play in the hall yet. I would've probably scared the life out of her if I played the violin right there where surround sound is the best at home. xD
Just thinking about how I am unable to wake up as late as I want during the 2 weeks of holiday soon to be approaching made me sigh this morning after placing the violin bag down on the wooden chair. A stable wooden chair for Autumn and a lousy blue plastic chair with no support for the spine. Lol. I must be nuts to take more care of the violin. Besides, to buy another one would mean trouble and more tears. I rather prevent than regret later. xD Back to topic, I sighed after thinking that I cannot wake up anytime I want because I cannot miss my violin practice.
I tuned it and while tuning, I was reluctant to face the Sunday morning tuning. After returning from violin class, the violin will definitely go out of tune. VERY out of tune and also harder to tune back. Thanks to the big change of temperature. Really, how am I to perform at other places if Autumn keeps on going out of tune due to temperature of atmosphere?
Played songs and practised. Nothing much but when I went back into my room to change clothes as my nightie was wet from this morning's face-washing, I saw the door to my parent's room open. That means... I can play outside in the hallway again and will not need to spoil the eyes or feel the heat.
The violin sounded much better. Thank God. =] I would have started worrying if I still played like yesterday (as said in previous post).
I played longer, I guess. This practice is much more satisfying than yesterday.
Good. xD
Went for violin class. Paid the fees for the last month. My teacher taught me stuff and he said I improved really fast for Grade 3. Seems like he only thought of me as officially Grade 3 last week when he handed me his violin book to use while playing. Oh well, I don't care. Just so long I am not dropping grades.
The extra practices helped a whole lot! I soar through those 3 pages and had 2 pages to learn in a week. OK, I should not have added "a week" because it's going to stress me out sooner or later.
Oh yeah, my violinist friend and I made a deal. She will teach me violin whenever possible after the big exam while I teach her English. I hope I am good enough for her as a teacher. Not like I am qualified but oh well. Already started teaching her last night online.
Came home to have my lunch after violin class. Almost forgotten to say, my dad gave me 4 CDs containing classical music. I will gladly rip all of them into the desktop computer and listen to them one by one. Damn, I have too many classical music to listen to now. Which is better because I would not have wanted to be bored to death, wondering what to listen to.
I am starting to wonder whether to delete some anime pictures from desktop computer. Really don't wanna waste any valuable memory space.
Did homework after the bath, which was after lunch.
So... here I am writing my diary.
~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~~
Back to blog where I know people can see what I wrote. =D
Lol. No one gonna welcome me back? Sob. T.T So Sad!
Haha, kidding again.
Or not?
So anyways, I may do another post tonight after the shopping trip. Hope it will be a nice shopping trip and not the lame grocery shopping. Really dislike grocery shopping. It gets oh so boring, like Faeces! xD Haha. It's the scientific term for... SHIT! Hah! *Puts on scientists' spectacles while half opening a book with one hand*
Do you know...the world is round? *woah, I didn't know that*
Do you know...we are humans? *woah, I didn't know that*
Do you know...I am talking a bunch of bullshit? *woah, I didn't know that*
Good! Lesson learnt so I will post another time then.
See you later (maybe).
Take care and have fun, you know I just can never stop repeating these words.
I read it this morning and saw the title before reading. Sorry, people. xD Still, it's an amazing book and I am looking forward to reading more of his books. I want to read other books that teaches about psychology too! =P I hope that I remember the author's name correctly this time. xD Haha. I was sure I remembered seeing "Wally Lamb". Heh, my memory really sucks.
Alright, I am going to talk about what happened today like any old diary. In fact, I might as well write it in diary form and pretend that no one's gonna be able to read this at all. =P
Dear Diary,
I woke up in the morning many times. Once when it was about only 2:30AM. Twice when the sky was still dark then numerous times as the sky got brighter and brighter.
At 9AM, I could not take it anymore. I just could not sleep. Guess the maximum sleeping time of mine is 9 hours. I took up the big, fat, thick book. The one with the title "The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb. 700+ pages long. Could you believe it? It took me quite awhile to reach 200 nearing 300 pages! I must be getting to be a slow reader though it's not like I am rushing for anything. I am glad that I got to buy more novels from the bookstore not long ago, like last Saturday. Can't remember the date but heck with it.
Stopped reading at about 9:30AM but right before the alarm clock rang. I just pressed the button down before it made too much noise. Sound pollution, you know? Kidding. Went to the bathroom and bla bla bla. Breakfast and then came the long-awaited violin practice. As I marched up the stairs, I had no choice but to enter the "music room" as mom is still asleep and that I cannot play in the hall yet. I would've probably scared the life out of her if I played the violin right there where surround sound is the best at home. xD
Just thinking about how I am unable to wake up as late as I want during the 2 weeks of holiday soon to be approaching made me sigh this morning after placing the violin bag down on the wooden chair. A stable wooden chair for Autumn and a lousy blue plastic chair with no support for the spine. Lol. I must be nuts to take more care of the violin. Besides, to buy another one would mean trouble and more tears. I rather prevent than regret later. xD Back to topic, I sighed after thinking that I cannot wake up anytime I want because I cannot miss my violin practice.
I tuned it and while tuning, I was reluctant to face the Sunday morning tuning. After returning from violin class, the violin will definitely go out of tune. VERY out of tune and also harder to tune back. Thanks to the big change of temperature. Really, how am I to perform at other places if Autumn keeps on going out of tune due to temperature of atmosphere?
Played songs and practised. Nothing much but when I went back into my room to change clothes as my nightie was wet from this morning's face-washing, I saw the door to my parent's room open. That means... I can play outside in the hallway again and will not need to spoil the eyes or feel the heat.
The violin sounded much better. Thank God. =] I would have started worrying if I still played like yesterday (as said in previous post).
I played longer, I guess. This practice is much more satisfying than yesterday.
Good. xD
Went for violin class. Paid the fees for the last month. My teacher taught me stuff and he said I improved really fast for Grade 3. Seems like he only thought of me as officially Grade 3 last week when he handed me his violin book to use while playing. Oh well, I don't care. Just so long I am not dropping grades.
The extra practices helped a whole lot! I soar through those 3 pages and had 2 pages to learn in a week. OK, I should not have added "a week" because it's going to stress me out sooner or later.
Oh yeah, my violinist friend and I made a deal. She will teach me violin whenever possible after the big exam while I teach her English. I hope I am good enough for her as a teacher. Not like I am qualified but oh well. Already started teaching her last night online.
Came home to have my lunch after violin class. Almost forgotten to say, my dad gave me 4 CDs containing classical music. I will gladly rip all of them into the desktop computer and listen to them one by one. Damn, I have too many classical music to listen to now. Which is better because I would not have wanted to be bored to death, wondering what to listen to.
I am starting to wonder whether to delete some anime pictures from desktop computer. Really don't wanna waste any valuable memory space.
Did homework after the bath, which was after lunch.
So... here I am writing my diary.
~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~~
Back to blog where I know people can see what I wrote. =D
Lol. No one gonna welcome me back? Sob. T.T So Sad!
Haha, kidding again.
Or not?
So anyways, I may do another post tonight after the shopping trip. Hope it will be a nice shopping trip and not the lame grocery shopping. Really dislike grocery shopping. It gets oh so boring, like Faeces! xD Haha. It's the scientific term for... SHIT! Hah! *Puts on scientists' spectacles while half opening a book with one hand*
Do you know...the world is round? *woah, I didn't know that*
Do you know...we are humans? *woah, I didn't know that*
Do you know...I am talking a bunch of bullshit? *woah, I didn't know that*
Good! Lesson learnt so I will post another time then.
See you later (maybe).
Take care and have fun, you know I just can never stop repeating these words.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Real Life ~ Back On Track
Thank goodness, my friend is back again. Yay.
It's ungrateful to say this but I never liked the uncomfortable feeling after getting back together again.
Still, it was a huge relief that she talked to me again. It happened after recess.
Back in class, which we had to change with another, which is also situated on the highest floor, our Maths teacher made sure we sat at our exam places because we never got to when the boys first enter the class.
Once again, thank goodness she befriended me again. Know why? Our Maths teacher somehow made us sit practically next to one another after adjusting our seats by alphabetical order. My friend turned to look at me and faked this funny-looking gasp and said, "Let's discuss our answers."
And... You know what? We did. Throughout the whole exam! We will definitely score an A for that subject!
Just kidding. She and I both know that cheating isn't fun after getting caught though we may be able to pump up our adrenaline with the feel of slight danger while discussing answers. xD To most of us youngsters 'these days', we use the feel of danger as a source of fun, to make life more interesting and not just all work no play.
Anyways, she and I got along fine after that. Even though she did not force me to go to school on Saturday, which is the next day to replace the holiday, I am happy that she did not. Besides, I have violin and I fairly know she and I still need some time to adjust to this situation and start getting along like what we've done for a long time before this conflict came about.
To be precise, for 3 days we've not been very buddy with one another. Still, I went home feeling this warm feeling, feeling like smiling and soaring in the sky. Thanks to that and plus the exhaustion of having to deal with her attitude for the past few days including exams, I played my violin like crap. YAY- NOT! It was OK for the start but after doing the third position for this week, (I've already memorized the short "song" and done my own extra 4th finger for third position practice) I became too bored. Sorry but really, it got boring. Still, I should do more with the extra practice I did by myself because I am not perfect yet. Sadly, I cannot keep doing that exercise on the 4th string (G) of the violin because it really hurt my left arm badly. Thankfully, my arm didn't hurt as much as when I first started the practice. xD
I also found out the way to do double-stopping on my own without watching videos although it doesn't sound nice enough yet. It still screeches. Yikes. Back to topic, I guess I did not do long violin practice today. I was too tired.
Seriously, gotta give in to this exhaustion today. Exams just ended and I just got back to becoming her friend again after 3 nerve-wrecking days, what I need more is sleep than more stress + frustration thanks to the increasingly horrible violin playing. I made more and more mistakes so I stopped in the end.
I did not look at what time I started the practice so I have no idea how long the practice was. Oh well, watched my mom use the computer for a moment and then she and I collapsed on the couch at the same time. I on the three-seater and she on the love couch (a.k.a, two-seater). We both did not sleep. We only talked.
After awhile, she went to mop the floors and told me she did not need help so I went to read a book. I did mainly reading. I know I should be doing more English but just do not have the strength to pick up the electronic dictionary(Ha ha, we are no longer using dictionaries made from trees, see how advanced we've become!).
The story was rather good. Heck, I lied. it was freaking boring. Hah! I lied again. it was like the best matured story ever (do not think dirty though they contain some 'uh-hum' parts).
The book was... *drum rolls* THE FIRST HOUR I BELIEVED by WALLY LAMB! *confetti dropping*
I hope I got the title right though, I wrote the title right from mind instead of double checking. Once again, forgive me for my laziness (again).
Hmm, I hardly use the "strikethrough" effect.
Might as well use it now:
I amnot ugly.
Har har hardy har har. Lol. Muahahahahaha. Hehehehehehe. Kekekekekeke. Lolololololol. ROFL. LAWL.
Kidding. The laugh was too exaggerated. xD
Damn, I must be nuts. I thought I would not write a long post like yesterday but in the end, I wrote a long one, like yesterday's. This is really ridiculous, I am too... TALKATIVE online! xD Guess I take it out on non-living things when it comes to giving opinions, I hardly spoke out in real life so this is what happens. Besides, because of my true nature, being born as an easily-distracted yet not easily distracted listener, I became an observer. I observe and ... Actually, because something distracted me, I somehow forgotten what I wanted to say. So I am going to get to the point, I love writing.
It did not take me long to realize but it took me 15 years to realize how I came to like writing. Ha ha.
Anyways, I am going to shut up now. Bye everyone for now.
Take care and have fun~!
It's ungrateful to say this but I never liked the uncomfortable feeling after getting back together again.
Still, it was a huge relief that she talked to me again. It happened after recess.
Back in class, which we had to change with another, which is also situated on the highest floor, our Maths teacher made sure we sat at our exam places because we never got to when the boys first enter the class.
Once again, thank goodness she befriended me again. Know why? Our Maths teacher somehow made us sit practically next to one another after adjusting our seats by alphabetical order. My friend turned to look at me and faked this funny-looking gasp and said, "Let's discuss our answers."
And... You know what? We did. Throughout the whole exam! We will definitely score an A for that subject!
Just kidding. She and I both know that cheating isn't fun after getting caught though we may be able to pump up our adrenaline with the feel of slight danger while discussing answers. xD To most of us youngsters 'these days', we use the feel of danger as a source of fun, to make life more interesting and not just all work no play.
Anyways, she and I got along fine after that. Even though she did not force me to go to school on Saturday, which is the next day to replace the holiday, I am happy that she did not. Besides, I have violin and I fairly know she and I still need some time to adjust to this situation and start getting along like what we've done for a long time before this conflict came about.
To be precise, for 3 days we've not been very buddy with one another. Still, I went home feeling this warm feeling, feeling like smiling and soaring in the sky. Thanks to that and plus the exhaustion of having to deal with her attitude for the past few days including exams, I played my violin like crap. YAY- NOT! It was OK for the start but after doing the third position for this week, (I've already memorized the short "song" and done my own extra 4th finger for third position practice) I became too bored. Sorry but really, it got boring. Still, I should do more with the extra practice I did by myself because I am not perfect yet. Sadly, I cannot keep doing that exercise on the 4th string (G) of the violin because it really hurt my left arm badly. Thankfully, my arm didn't hurt as much as when I first started the practice. xD
I also found out the way to do double-stopping on my own without watching videos although it doesn't sound nice enough yet. It still screeches. Yikes. Back to topic, I guess I did not do long violin practice today. I was too tired.
Seriously, gotta give in to this exhaustion today. Exams just ended and I just got back to becoming her friend again after 3 nerve-wrecking days, what I need more is sleep than more stress + frustration thanks to the increasingly horrible violin playing. I made more and more mistakes so I stopped in the end.
I did not look at what time I started the practice so I have no idea how long the practice was. Oh well, watched my mom use the computer for a moment and then she and I collapsed on the couch at the same time. I on the three-seater and she on the love couch (a.k.a, two-seater). We both did not sleep. We only talked.
After awhile, she went to mop the floors and told me she did not need help so I went to read a book. I did mainly reading. I know I should be doing more English but just do not have the strength to pick up the electronic dictionary(Ha ha, we are no longer using dictionaries made from trees, see how advanced we've become!).
The story was rather good. Heck, I lied. it was freaking boring. Hah! I lied again. it was like the best matured story ever (do not think dirty though they contain some 'uh-hum' parts).
The book was... *drum rolls* THE FIRST HOUR I BELIEVED by WALLY LAMB! *confetti dropping*
I hope I got the title right though, I wrote the title right from mind instead of double checking. Once again, forgive me for my laziness (again).
Hmm, I hardly use the "strikethrough" effect.
Might as well use it now:
I am
Har har hardy har har. Lol. Muahahahahaha. Hehehehehehe. Kekekekekeke. Lolololololol. ROFL. LAWL.
Kidding. The laugh was too exaggerated. xD
Damn, I must be nuts. I thought I would not write a long post like yesterday but in the end, I wrote a long one, like yesterday's. This is really ridiculous, I am too... TALKATIVE online! xD Guess I take it out on non-living things when it comes to giving opinions, I hardly spoke out in real life so this is what happens. Besides, because of my true nature, being born as an easily-distracted yet not easily distracted listener, I became an observer. I observe and ... Actually, because something distracted me, I somehow forgotten what I wanted to say. So I am going to get to the point, I love writing.
It did not take me long to realize but it took me 15 years to realize how I came to like writing. Ha ha.
Anyways, I am going to shut up now. Bye everyone for now.
Take care and have fun~!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Real Life ~ Damn Retarded Days
OK, I will make this short and clear.
Once upon a time... *snores*
Oh sorry, where was I? Kidding.
Anyways, my school have been having exams lately. So my school have all these trials before our big exam. My friend was very confident that she will get an A because according to her, she wrote the essay with "her heart and soul". She said she wrote really well and added idioms in it. I haven't got any chance to read it though. I will let you know why later.
So when we got back our English Paper 1, the one I was very depressed about, she got 1 mark higher than me. She was obviously happy even when she probably half-tried to hide that smug on her face. Her mind was loudly saying, "HEH HEH HEH!"
The next day, I brought the English book I just found at home not long ago. I did endless exercise. My friends, knowing how depressed I was, could only watch. My friend only said, "Somebody's depressed." in a sarcastic way. She definitely smiled.
After awhile, she kept pestering me to join her to go to the teacher's room to find out our full English marks. She badly wanted to know her results. She was DYING to know her results. Literally!
When we went up, (as I can only faintly remember) we found out our Geography marks. I am OK with mine. Yay. xD Then she rushed our English teacher, also the form teacher to mark the essay. Even though the teacher said that if she were to mark real fast, she will have to skip correcting our mistakes and only underline, which is unfair since she has only marked others with much more thorough correction. So my friend had no choice but to tell my teacher to take her time. That was pretty informal and rude in a way. What can I say? In my country, our high school teachers are much more sporting and less strict although there are strict and scary ones too.
Urgh, I remember climbing down the stairs holding my tears, sucking it all up. I suppose a matured person should keep all feelings in but it can't possibly be ALL right? Anyways, during recess, my friends and I went to the canteen to eat. Only one of us did not eat but the other 3 of us did.
Suddenly, my friend saw our English teacher. I could only internally roll my eyes and look the other way grunting. In my mind, all I could say was, "Argh! Not AGAIN! Enough with exam results!"
Little did I know that our English teacher immediately came over to us. It seemed like she had already marked our essays. Saying I was good and bla bla bla, my other friend too. Then when my friend asked her what about hers, the teacher made a gesture that kept her angry up until this very day. The teacher waved her hand in this horizontal way or something. Sorry, I cannot describe this well. See? My English sucks too. Her gesture meant that her essay was so-so.
To be honest, if I were to be in my friend's shoes on that day, I would obviously be humiliated and mad as well. =/
On Monday, she was still mad. She was mad at how she lost to me and what our teacher said. Crap. It's not any of my fault.
After an exam, our teacher gave us back our essays. When my friend found out she was the lowest in our group, she was angrier. After she questioned our teacher why she got that mark, our teacher ignored her and told her to ask me. Damn, this makes things worse. That was the final straw. She tore her paper after school and would not talk to me at all after the teacher told her that.
From that day until today, which is Wednesday, To be exact, it has been about 2 and a half days since she stopped talking to me.
So now whatever she does is go against me and purposely say something that's meant to anger me or make me feel unpleasant. Yes, girls are vengeful. I cannot deny. Girls can hardly forgive and forget easily.
I do not feel bad at all. It's not my fault whatsoever.
Almost forgotten to say goodbye. Silly me.
TAKE CARE AND HAVE FUN~!^^
By the way, she is wasting her time and energy. A day fighting and not talking to your friend is like wasting your day. It sucks. Seriously.
Bye again.
Note: I edited a wrong spelling. xD (1st September 2010)
Once upon a time... *snores*
Oh sorry, where was I? Kidding.
Anyways, my school have been having exams lately. So my school have all these trials before our big exam. My friend was very confident that she will get an A because according to her, she wrote the essay with "her heart and soul". She said she wrote really well and added idioms in it. I haven't got any chance to read it though. I will let you know why later.
So when we got back our English Paper 1, the one I was very depressed about, she got 1 mark higher than me. She was obviously happy even when she probably half-tried to hide that smug on her face. Her mind was loudly saying, "HEH HEH HEH!"
The next day, I brought the English book I just found at home not long ago. I did endless exercise. My friends, knowing how depressed I was, could only watch. My friend only said, "Somebody's depressed." in a sarcastic way. She definitely smiled.
After awhile, she kept pestering me to join her to go to the teacher's room to find out our full English marks. She badly wanted to know her results. She was DYING to know her results. Literally!
When we went up, (as I can only faintly remember) we found out our Geography marks. I am OK with mine. Yay. xD Then she rushed our English teacher, also the form teacher to mark the essay. Even though the teacher said that if she were to mark real fast, she will have to skip correcting our mistakes and only underline, which is unfair since she has only marked others with much more thorough correction. So my friend had no choice but to tell my teacher to take her time. That was pretty informal and rude in a way. What can I say? In my country, our high school teachers are much more sporting and less strict although there are strict and scary ones too.
Urgh, I remember climbing down the stairs holding my tears, sucking it all up. I suppose a matured person should keep all feelings in but it can't possibly be ALL right? Anyways, during recess, my friends and I went to the canteen to eat. Only one of us did not eat but the other 3 of us did.
Suddenly, my friend saw our English teacher. I could only internally roll my eyes and look the other way grunting. In my mind, all I could say was, "Argh! Not AGAIN! Enough with exam results!"
Little did I know that our English teacher immediately came over to us. It seemed like she had already marked our essays. Saying I was good and bla bla bla, my other friend too. Then when my friend asked her what about hers, the teacher made a gesture that kept her angry up until this very day. The teacher waved her hand in this horizontal way or something. Sorry, I cannot describe this well. See? My English sucks too. Her gesture meant that her essay was so-so.
To be honest, if I were to be in my friend's shoes on that day, I would obviously be humiliated and mad as well. =/
On Monday, she was still mad. She was mad at how she lost to me and what our teacher said. Crap. It's not any of my fault.
After an exam, our teacher gave us back our essays. When my friend found out she was the lowest in our group, she was angrier. After she questioned our teacher why she got that mark, our teacher ignored her and told her to ask me. Damn, this makes things worse. That was the final straw. She tore her paper after school and would not talk to me at all after the teacher told her that.
From that day until today, which is Wednesday, To be exact, it has been about 2 and a half days since she stopped talking to me.
So now whatever she does is go against me and purposely say something that's meant to anger me or make me feel unpleasant. Yes, girls are vengeful. I cannot deny. Girls can hardly forgive and forget easily.
I do not feel bad at all. It's not my fault whatsoever.
Almost forgotten to say goodbye. Silly me.
TAKE CARE AND HAVE FUN~!^^
By the way, she is wasting her time and energy. A day fighting and not talking to your friend is like wasting your day. It sucks. Seriously.
Bye again.
Note: I edited a wrong spelling. xD (1st September 2010)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Real Life ~ Down
I'm feeling VERY depressed right now. Well, it's good for my violin since grief and sorrow can make me play better but not to the extent where I cannot see because of tears...
I cried. Thankfully it took a small bar of KitKat to cheer me up. I guess chocolates DO help. I cannot quite remember how and why but it has something to do with Science I guess.
Ready for the rant? Alright.
I am very disappointed in myself. VERY, VERY disappointed. I should never have brought my emotions along to do any objective test papers. I did the English Paper 1, which is meant to be FREAKING easy for those countries like Canada, America and England. Guess what? I got ONLY 34/40. DAMN! I am obviously not the highest. In fact, after doing the paper and my friend who stupidly insist on comparing our answers and questioning every difference really killed me.
I hated myself for not being a nice friend there. I hate myself for not paying enough attention. I hate myself for lacking common sense! I really hate myself for EVERYTHING. I no longer know what is right or wrong anymore. I dare not say whatever I write here have perfect grammar. I have totally lost all my confidence. ALL of them. I feel that I do NOT deserve any of them. I feel that I have no rights to give my own opinion anymore.
See? This is why English results reflect my day. This is what English results can do to me in about 1 second, let alone a day. If English is not good, what am I to be good at now?! What language can I excel in without losing so much as an inch of confidence? Am I supposed to create my own language, where NO ONE can even understand a shit about it?
Maybe I can heal by tomorrow as long as my friends shut up about exams. Sadly, they are not going to and especially one of them. I can only rely on English paper 2. In fact, I ALWAYS rely on English paper 2! I hate it! I lack of common sense, it's a HANDICAP! It doesn't make me artistic because I still lose a whole lot to others. It doesn't make me VERY good at something else! I only can do well (sometimes, I am not sure if I do well all the time anymore) in English Paper 2 because I get to let out all those emotions hiding inside of me, all the opinions and phrases I have been dying to use.
The fact that I lost to 2 of my classmates (friends) just makes me want to die. I kept saying I give up but you know what, if I did well in the next exam, which is sadly on Monday after our exam JUST ended yesterday (Wednesday) and did not do any exams until the actual big exam, I may get BAD results. This is crazy. I believe in certain curses and you know what, there's 2 of them that really work and it sucks.
I do not feel like saying those curses. Well, got no more energy to say more so I am going to off the computer after I just switched it on about 28 minutes ago.
Whatever.
Bye. You know I still want you all to take care and have fun~!
I cried. Thankfully it took a small bar of KitKat to cheer me up. I guess chocolates DO help. I cannot quite remember how and why but it has something to do with Science I guess.
Ready for the rant? Alright.
I am very disappointed in myself. VERY, VERY disappointed. I should never have brought my emotions along to do any objective test papers. I did the English Paper 1, which is meant to be FREAKING easy for those countries like Canada, America and England. Guess what? I got ONLY 34/40. DAMN! I am obviously not the highest. In fact, after doing the paper and my friend who stupidly insist on comparing our answers and questioning every difference really killed me.
I hated myself for not being a nice friend there. I hate myself for not paying enough attention. I hate myself for lacking common sense! I really hate myself for EVERYTHING. I no longer know what is right or wrong anymore. I dare not say whatever I write here have perfect grammar. I have totally lost all my confidence. ALL of them. I feel that I do NOT deserve any of them. I feel that I have no rights to give my own opinion anymore.
See? This is why English results reflect my day. This is what English results can do to me in about 1 second, let alone a day. If English is not good, what am I to be good at now?! What language can I excel in without losing so much as an inch of confidence? Am I supposed to create my own language, where NO ONE can even understand a shit about it?
Maybe I can heal by tomorrow as long as my friends shut up about exams. Sadly, they are not going to and especially one of them. I can only rely on English paper 2. In fact, I ALWAYS rely on English paper 2! I hate it! I lack of common sense, it's a HANDICAP! It doesn't make me artistic because I still lose a whole lot to others. It doesn't make me VERY good at something else! I only can do well (sometimes, I am not sure if I do well all the time anymore) in English Paper 2 because I get to let out all those emotions hiding inside of me, all the opinions and phrases I have been dying to use.
The fact that I lost to 2 of my classmates (friends) just makes me want to die. I kept saying I give up but you know what, if I did well in the next exam, which is sadly on Monday after our exam JUST ended yesterday (Wednesday) and did not do any exams until the actual big exam, I may get BAD results. This is crazy. I believe in certain curses and you know what, there's 2 of them that really work and it sucks.
I do not feel like saying those curses. Well, got no more energy to say more so I am going to off the computer after I just switched it on about 28 minutes ago.
Whatever.
Bye. You know I still want you all to take care and have fun~!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)