Chinese New Year is coming soon. I only look forward to performing though I am hesitating. Many reasons for that. I am not really looking forward to the red packets. I Just feel too shy to accept. =/
I've been doing last minute arrangement of songs to perform. I might be doing 11 songs. 10 songs for Chinese New Year and 1 song for my grandmother's birthday. Lately she had been overworking. I feel bad for her because no one's really appreciating it all. There were misunderstandings and fights ever since holiday started so... I worry that there would be a tense atmosphere by the time I get there to visit them. As long as I was not in the fight, I'd be OK, right? Well... Wish it really is like that. Dx Oh yeah, was it selfish to think that way?
Haven't been doing too well with the violin. I refused to practise one song. It's a little bit hard to understand. Really do not want to learn the wrong thing on my own and to have to relearn later on when I know it's wrong. This happened before in the past. Relearning was like a nightmare, I tell you. I regretted like God-Knows-What!
I just chosen the 11th song to perform today. I doubt I will be able to learn it up in time. Well, I could since I've memorized it before in the past. I just forgotten the full song now. The thing is, I cannot concentrate when I look at the sheet music. xD
My mom just found out hers and my BaZi profiling. I wanted to check it out last year but could not get to because you had to register e-mail and all those shit. It gets annoying so I do not wanna register. There are quite a few of BaZi profiles. At that time, I read "The Performer" for fun since I dreamed of having that as my profile. I wondered at that time if I were to be really that. Seriously, my friend asked me what my dream was and for the first time in so many years, I was unsure of my true dream. I knew I do not really stand a chance in music. I worry I am fickle minded in writing and literature. Again, I worry I find learning psychology boring. The cool stuffs start after you get a good case. Usually, you only get to see psychologists on the go when they handle cool stuffs. I am very much interested in split personalities. Don't ask me why. Even I have no clue. So anyways, I just answered my friend that my dream is to be a musician/violinist BUT it's a dream that cannot be fulfilled. My friends were bewildered to hear that because they find it impossible to not be since I am already learning the violin.
So anyways, in the end, my BaZi profiling is The Performer. I still cannot believe it. You have to give the full detail like your birth date, time and year. I didn't know my time so I couldn't even if I did register.
I still do not believe it... xD
Oh well~
Do any of you find it weird of me to be blogging now? I'm sorry it has been a long time. I just have no mood or time to blog. For your information, if you find any grammar mistakes or even spelling mistakes, let me know. I have been in quite a daze lately. =/
Have been sleeping at 12AM lately. =/ it's not good... but I just hardly have the time to actually sit down and enjoy the computer. It's either online self-study or some project. I am trying to stop self-studying for a moment. I've done a lot of self-study on History today and finished 2 BM essays. I remember doing one more thing but I forgotten. xD Lol. I was told to abandon the individual notes on Chemistry because I already have the big reference book. It's not cheap. >=/ I guess I really should abandon some subjects because I even have NO TIME to do my own workbook that I bought! Damn.
The thing I hate about holidays is that school and tuition take advantage of them. They think we do not have enough stress or work so they just give us many pieces of hell. Little did they know I do not feel the holiday mood at all. I still wake up early but not that early. I didn't sleep even when I could. It's because I was so busy thinking of work. There was one day after BM tuition, I was so caught up in my own work (even when I was exhausted) that I forgotten I have not even practised yet. I only realized that when I went to bed.
"Oh, I didn't practise today, did I?"
*laughs*
"Oh well."
*sleeps from exhaustion*
Haha. That's me. Well, the new me...? Coz in the past, violin is my first priority. Nothing else was more important. Thanks to violin, I care more about my health. xD
Oh, I am flooding my search engine with many mangas that my friend recommended. Gotta jet now. Bye!
Take care and have fun~!^^
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Real Life ~ iPod Maintenance
I just added a few rock songs and made the iPod on shuffle. Now you won't keep hearing the same thing every time you visit this blog. Lol. Sorry it took me this long to do that! I was always listening to the same thing every time I have my Windows Media Player on so my ears were numbed. I never thought how many others are not like me. xD Haha. No sweat though, it can be taken as a compliment.
You might be wondering when I'll update my blog but... I'm still quite pissed now. Don't feel like complaining here... =/
Anyways, I am glad I have this portable speaker to play the songs on my own iPod out loud (in real life, lol).
Take care and have fun. Maybe being very sick has made me moody lately. Dx So please do NOT fall sick! xD
You might be wondering when I'll update my blog but... I'm still quite pissed now. Don't feel like complaining here... =/
Anyways, I am glad I have this portable speaker to play the songs on my own iPod out loud (in real life, lol).
Take care and have fun. Maybe being very sick has made me moody lately. Dx So please do NOT fall sick! xD
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Real Life ~ My Super Sweet 16...?
Yes, the question mark is not a lie. I do love most of my birthday today though. ^^
Woke up annoyed because I was disturbed by this noisy mosquito. I suffocated myself with the blanket. After awhile, the blanket didn't stay sealed tight around me and that was when I heard the mosquito's irritating buzz again. =/ I wrapped the blanket around me tightly again. This time I really had trouble breathing. Is it possible for people to die of suffocation from their own blankets...? So I felt really warm and I haven't switched on the air-conditioner for days since I have been feeling chilly lately. I hope the air-conditioner does not spoil. T.T
It was about 4AM+ when that mosquito disturbed my sleep. Damn it.
Finally it was 6AM. So quick that I do not think I even got a wink of sleep ever since that uninvited guest annoyed the Hell out of me. >=[
I almost screamed when I looked into the mirror. I thought I saw a ghost but it turned out to be myself, just paler than usual. I suppose there was not enough sleep...? Urgh. Why of all days must I go to school looking so pale and sickly on my own birthday? It makes me such a pathetic and sad character! xD
My nose was like a fountain this morning. Argh... I felt like it was the end of the world as long as I have this nose with me. =/
Went to school feeling chilly and sick.
Teachers lectured a lot when we had to line up before going into our classes. I was sweating like crap and wanted to wipe my face with a thousand tissues. Breath left me since I reached school so I was totally breathless. I was almost lifeless when I reached the top floor where my class is. @.@
My friend, who was sick and had to go home during school yesterday, is still sick today. So today, she stared at me with a surprised look. After all, I was kinda lively yesterday. Gasping and panting, trying to get more air in than out. That moment was really agonizing. It's as if asthma attack came but it's not as bad as asthma. Dx
In English class, we had to go into groups again. I was absolutely sick but I tried my best to contribute more to the group. The whole time, my snot threatened to drip. Ugh, I know, it's disgusting but when you're this sick, what can you do?
As for Moral class, the girl who sat on my left finally seem to have more enthusiasm. She talked to me more than before.
My friend in Moral class promised to eat with one another in the canteen after school because we gotta stay back for EST. =S
During recess, my class's new student who transferred from another class moved her table to beside me. My friend who is sick did not seem all too pleased though when she found out after recess...
It was pretty fun sitting next to my new friend. She sat beside me yesterday after my friend left school to go home and recover since she sits beside no one most of the time. We had a good time. Even though I spoke my broken Chinese with her, it was possible to communicate. xD
Skip straight to after school.
My new friend went to the canteen first. My Moral class friend went down to the canteen already. Slowly, the bench group went into my classroom except one person. I received a BIG gift (more like gifts - plural) from my violinist friend and cute gifts from my pianist friend. Received a great book that I've always wanted to read but couldn't really buy because of the price.
I was extremely overwhelmed but my sickness and worry for being late for EST made me unable to show my true emotion. The shock was so great I could not even show how surprised I was. Oh no, I am emotionless at times where facial expressions are needed. What do I do? xD
Really did not know what to say but only hugged and thanked the people who gave me gifts. I was REALLY shy so I'd feel better sitting beside my Moral class friend to eat. There were complications. At first I invited my moral class friend over to join the bench group to eat in the canteen but someone else took the table beside. In the end, I ate lunch with my moral class friend and her friend, who's my new friend today. xD
To be honest, the one who didn't enter my class after school didn't seem pleased to be around me. I suppose I sat beside my moral class friend so that she can cool down or something, even if she said something mean about me. She gave me a cute Snoopy key chain to me this morning though. :D
EST class was dismissed after there were too many students for the teacher to handle. She said we can choose either Tuesday or Wednesday only. I really do not look forward to separation with my friends... =S
I'm really tired now. Tomorrow's a holiday. Only 1 day though. I still have school on Saturday... Damn.
Here are what I received as gifts:
a pink teddy bear
a book (For One More Day by Mitch Albom)
3 pairs of earrings
1 Snoopy key chain
1 key chain with my name on
1 lucky clover necklace
2 KitKat
2 Crunchies chocolate
2 bookmarks
1 pack of birthday stickers
1 note written from my each of my violinist & pianist friend
1 gigantic lollipop
-----------------
I could not get through the phone when I called my mom to pick me up earlier. So... I stayed at the canteen doing my homework with my friends. =S
Went back home and did not practise violin. I was getting slightly better from the flu. It's best if I do not practise because I will most likely get all worked up from the mistakes made and frustration.
Did more homework after bath back at home. Got the chance to really see what my gifts were. xD
The earrings were so shiny. One of the 3 pairs looked like musical notes. xD
I hope I will be able to repay their birthday gifts this year. Wishing they'd love their gifts.
Alright. Gonna stop writing and publish this post now!
Take care and have fun~!^^
P.S, my class monitor wished me happy birthday when he knew my birthday from looking at my IC number.
Woke up annoyed because I was disturbed by this noisy mosquito. I suffocated myself with the blanket. After awhile, the blanket didn't stay sealed tight around me and that was when I heard the mosquito's irritating buzz again. =/ I wrapped the blanket around me tightly again. This time I really had trouble breathing. Is it possible for people to die of suffocation from their own blankets...? So I felt really warm and I haven't switched on the air-conditioner for days since I have been feeling chilly lately. I hope the air-conditioner does not spoil. T.T
It was about 4AM+ when that mosquito disturbed my sleep. Damn it.
Finally it was 6AM. So quick that I do not think I even got a wink of sleep ever since that uninvited guest annoyed the Hell out of me. >=[
I almost screamed when I looked into the mirror. I thought I saw a ghost but it turned out to be myself, just paler than usual. I suppose there was not enough sleep...? Urgh. Why of all days must I go to school looking so pale and sickly on my own birthday? It makes me such a pathetic and sad character! xD
My nose was like a fountain this morning. Argh... I felt like it was the end of the world as long as I have this nose with me. =/
Went to school feeling chilly and sick.
Teachers lectured a lot when we had to line up before going into our classes. I was sweating like crap and wanted to wipe my face with a thousand tissues. Breath left me since I reached school so I was totally breathless. I was almost lifeless when I reached the top floor where my class is. @.@
My friend, who was sick and had to go home during school yesterday, is still sick today. So today, she stared at me with a surprised look. After all, I was kinda lively yesterday. Gasping and panting, trying to get more air in than out. That moment was really agonizing. It's as if asthma attack came but it's not as bad as asthma. Dx
In English class, we had to go into groups again. I was absolutely sick but I tried my best to contribute more to the group. The whole time, my snot threatened to drip. Ugh, I know, it's disgusting but when you're this sick, what can you do?
As for Moral class, the girl who sat on my left finally seem to have more enthusiasm. She talked to me more than before.
My friend in Moral class promised to eat with one another in the canteen after school because we gotta stay back for EST. =S
During recess, my class's new student who transferred from another class moved her table to beside me. My friend who is sick did not seem all too pleased though when she found out after recess...
It was pretty fun sitting next to my new friend. She sat beside me yesterday after my friend left school to go home and recover since she sits beside no one most of the time. We had a good time. Even though I spoke my broken Chinese with her, it was possible to communicate. xD
Skip straight to after school.
My new friend went to the canteen first. My Moral class friend went down to the canteen already. Slowly, the bench group went into my classroom except one person. I received a BIG gift (more like gifts - plural) from my violinist friend and cute gifts from my pianist friend. Received a great book that I've always wanted to read but couldn't really buy because of the price.
I was extremely overwhelmed but my sickness and worry for being late for EST made me unable to show my true emotion. The shock was so great I could not even show how surprised I was. Oh no, I am emotionless at times where facial expressions are needed. What do I do? xD
Really did not know what to say but only hugged and thanked the people who gave me gifts. I was REALLY shy so I'd feel better sitting beside my Moral class friend to eat. There were complications. At first I invited my moral class friend over to join the bench group to eat in the canteen but someone else took the table beside. In the end, I ate lunch with my moral class friend and her friend, who's my new friend today. xD
To be honest, the one who didn't enter my class after school didn't seem pleased to be around me. I suppose I sat beside my moral class friend so that she can cool down or something, even if she said something mean about me. She gave me a cute Snoopy key chain to me this morning though. :D
EST class was dismissed after there were too many students for the teacher to handle. She said we can choose either Tuesday or Wednesday only. I really do not look forward to separation with my friends... =S
I'm really tired now. Tomorrow's a holiday. Only 1 day though. I still have school on Saturday... Damn.
Here are what I received as gifts:
a pink teddy bear
a book (For One More Day by Mitch Albom)
3 pairs of earrings
1 Snoopy key chain
1 key chain with my name on
1 lucky clover necklace
2 KitKat
2 Crunchies chocolate
2 bookmarks
1 pack of birthday stickers
1 note written from my each of my violinist & pianist friend
1 gigantic lollipop
-----------------
I could not get through the phone when I called my mom to pick me up earlier. So... I stayed at the canteen doing my homework with my friends. =S
Went back home and did not practise violin. I was getting slightly better from the flu. It's best if I do not practise because I will most likely get all worked up from the mistakes made and frustration.
Did more homework after bath back at home. Got the chance to really see what my gifts were. xD
The earrings were so shiny. One of the 3 pairs looked like musical notes. xD
I hope I will be able to repay their birthday gifts this year. Wishing they'd love their gifts.
Alright. Gonna stop writing and publish this post now!
Take care and have fun~!^^
P.S, my class monitor wished me happy birthday when he knew my birthday from looking at my IC number.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Real Life ~ Anime Songs On The Go!
I just added all anime songs! xD I hope you enjoy the new additions to the Cyber iPod!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Real Life ~ Could Have Done More
I really could have done more work today but I wasted a bit of time redecorating the RC. Lol.
Today's practice was quite OK. I am glad I showed signs of improving the 3 quick and precise double-stopping. Jeez, it took me long enough to get them right. It's still not good enough but I'm sure one day I will look back and wish I learned that instead of something else much more painful. xD It's like that most of the time. Dx
Funnily enough, I had the patience and effort to record the videos. I just have to wait until that one day of February!^^ One thing though, if possible, I'd like to remake one of the videos before uploading on that day. =/ I was a tad bit too fast for that song to the extent that you viewers may not even hear a note played. Lol. What's gotten into me? Actually, it was just the speed of song that frightened me when I first started learning it. As usual, when that happens, I always panic and end up playing at least 2 times faster. @.@ How pathetic. Lol.
Hmm, I think this can be the first time I really have trouble choosing which of the videos of the same song to upload. In the end, I pick both and just say they're both different versions but same song. xP
To be honest, after the whole of today (it's night time now), I feel tired. I want to sleep... I hope there's enough time to finish the History notes and also the Add Maths workbook. I have BM tuition homework too.
Sorry, readers, gonna go read manga for a while before sleeping. Really tired now.
Take care and have fun~!^^
Today's practice was quite OK. I am glad I showed signs of improving the 3 quick and precise double-stopping. Jeez, it took me long enough to get them right. It's still not good enough but I'm sure one day I will look back and wish I learned that instead of something else much more painful. xD It's like that most of the time. Dx
Funnily enough, I had the patience and effort to record the videos. I just have to wait until that one day of February!^^ One thing though, if possible, I'd like to remake one of the videos before uploading on that day. =/ I was a tad bit too fast for that song to the extent that you viewers may not even hear a note played. Lol. What's gotten into me? Actually, it was just the speed of song that frightened me when I first started learning it. As usual, when that happens, I always panic and end up playing at least 2 times faster. @.@ How pathetic. Lol.
Hmm, I think this can be the first time I really have trouble choosing which of the videos of the same song to upload. In the end, I pick both and just say they're both different versions but same song. xP
To be honest, after the whole of today (it's night time now), I feel tired. I want to sleep... I hope there's enough time to finish the History notes and also the Add Maths workbook. I have BM tuition homework too.
Sorry, readers, gonna go read manga for a while before sleeping. Really tired now.
Take care and have fun~!^^
Friday, January 14, 2011
Real Life ~ Busy As Shit...?
Yo, wussup dawgs? @.@ Lol.
Have been busy as hell ever since I started school. Being 16 ain't sweet. So... SWEET 16 MY ARSE! Hah!
As a start of the year, I'm still diligent but will drop dead when too tired. Lol.
This is the end of the 2nd week of school. Am I looking forward to week 3? No, not really but I am glad I am not missing my holidays (yet). ;P
Oh yes, my class is Sub-Science for ICT. The teacher so far is useless... I gotta study on my own for that... I still have doubts about myself being able to do that... I might not survive in this class but you know what? I don't think I can do well even if I went for Accounts or Biology. The only thing unfair was that you can NEVER find ICT reference books out there. I suppose not every school has it...? Whatever~ Sigh.
One thing though, even though we ICT students get to enjoy our air-conditioner when there's ICT lesson, not every computer is working. I could not find all with computer. None is perfect. There was one near perfect that could use Internet when Internet is not blocked. It had speakers (yay!) but... for our Student account to use in the computer, Many accesses are denied. I cannot even copy anything from my thumbdrive. Oh yeah, I do not even know how to turn the speakers on since the button's missing. The whole incident during ICT class with my new friend was so SWEAT that I just get too tired of explaining it in detail. Damn it. Lol.
After finishing the Season 3 of "Tower Of Druaga" on TV, I sacrificed the long-awaited anime "Kuroshitsuji(Black Butler)" just for a longer violin practice. My heart sorta tears whenever I think of how I cannot look forward to anything on TV anymore. After the violin practice, dinner time comes. I have absolutely no time to watch anime unless the anime does not require buffering. That way, I might be able to watch after doing every homework.
To be honest, I am a tad bit too exhausted to actually tell you every lessons I had in detail, like what happened and how are the teachers like.
I have some slight problems with the 3 songs I am suppose to be practising for about 2 or 3 weeks (AGAIN) since my teacher went traveling. After last week's first violin lesson of the year, I was really down. The teacher didn't seem glad at all to see me but mom told me it might be the new management's (new rules) that made him unhappy. Of all things my forgetful teacher could remember, he remembered the mistakes I made during last years concert. He never got the chance to point them all out but I suppose he remembers every mistake I make. Seems like the pianist and I were not in sync. He knows she and I didn't rehearse until before the performance. I told him she played faster. He never objected but neither did he agree with me. I suppose that's safer for him to not be on anyone's sides, am I right?
I am currently copying Physics notes. Earlier, I was copying ICT notes online. I still have Civic Folio to do.
I might add 2 new songs onto the Cyber iPod but maybe they have been added already, just that I didn't realize. xD
Talking about iPods, my iPod gave me a heck of a time trying to fix it. As usual, I sometimes forget to listen to it, most of the time too afraid to listen in case my hearing worsen and also too busy to listen to it. I was quite determined to just let it stay spoiled but I was somehow forced into fixing it. I found the way to reset it and ta-daa~ It got fixed. xD I listened a little bit to it yesterday, I think. My hearing is still as bad and probably getting worse. My awful hearing got on my mom's nerves. Lol. I butcher every word people say. Haha. I am even starting to see words from books wrongly! My sense of smell is like the usual, as bad as my eyesight. ;P
The only thing still working is "touch". After all, my right arm suddenly swell badly because my friend touched me with her dirty hands. Sorry, they were dirty because of blood. =/ I forgotten that you are not supposed to simply touch blood!
Here's a news for you, I do not think I can ever upload a video ever again. I might try tomorrow morning but let's see if I have the strength, enthusiasm and patience to do so. Actually, that video might just be uploaded in advance for an event coming up in February. ;) Take a guess. =P
OK, gotta jet now. I was pretty engrossed in copying notes online that I forgotten I was blogging. Lol, look how nerdy and geeky I am. It suits my look too, unfortunately!
Take care and have fun, peeps~! ^^
Have been busy as hell ever since I started school. Being 16 ain't sweet. So... SWEET 16 MY ARSE! Hah!
As a start of the year, I'm still diligent but will drop dead when too tired. Lol.
This is the end of the 2nd week of school. Am I looking forward to week 3? No, not really but I am glad I am not missing my holidays (yet). ;P
Oh yes, my class is Sub-Science for ICT. The teacher so far is useless... I gotta study on my own for that... I still have doubts about myself being able to do that... I might not survive in this class but you know what? I don't think I can do well even if I went for Accounts or Biology. The only thing unfair was that you can NEVER find ICT reference books out there. I suppose not every school has it...? Whatever~ Sigh.
One thing though, even though we ICT students get to enjoy our air-conditioner when there's ICT lesson, not every computer is working. I could not find all with computer. None is perfect. There was one near perfect that could use Internet when Internet is not blocked. It had speakers (yay!) but... for our Student account to use in the computer, Many accesses are denied. I cannot even copy anything from my thumbdrive. Oh yeah, I do not even know how to turn the speakers on since the button's missing. The whole incident during ICT class with my new friend was so SWEAT that I just get too tired of explaining it in detail. Damn it. Lol.
After finishing the Season 3 of "Tower Of Druaga" on TV, I sacrificed the long-awaited anime "Kuroshitsuji(Black Butler)" just for a longer violin practice. My heart sorta tears whenever I think of how I cannot look forward to anything on TV anymore. After the violin practice, dinner time comes. I have absolutely no time to watch anime unless the anime does not require buffering. That way, I might be able to watch after doing every homework.
To be honest, I am a tad bit too exhausted to actually tell you every lessons I had in detail, like what happened and how are the teachers like.
I have some slight problems with the 3 songs I am suppose to be practising for about 2 or 3 weeks (AGAIN) since my teacher went traveling. After last week's first violin lesson of the year, I was really down. The teacher didn't seem glad at all to see me but mom told me it might be the new management's (new rules) that made him unhappy. Of all things my forgetful teacher could remember, he remembered the mistakes I made during last years concert. He never got the chance to point them all out but I suppose he remembers every mistake I make. Seems like the pianist and I were not in sync. He knows she and I didn't rehearse until before the performance. I told him she played faster. He never objected but neither did he agree with me. I suppose that's safer for him to not be on anyone's sides, am I right?
I am currently copying Physics notes. Earlier, I was copying ICT notes online. I still have Civic Folio to do.
I might add 2 new songs onto the Cyber iPod but maybe they have been added already, just that I didn't realize. xD
Talking about iPods, my iPod gave me a heck of a time trying to fix it. As usual, I sometimes forget to listen to it, most of the time too afraid to listen in case my hearing worsen and also too busy to listen to it. I was quite determined to just let it stay spoiled but I was somehow forced into fixing it. I found the way to reset it and ta-daa~ It got fixed. xD I listened a little bit to it yesterday, I think. My hearing is still as bad and probably getting worse. My awful hearing got on my mom's nerves. Lol. I butcher every word people say. Haha. I am even starting to see words from books wrongly! My sense of smell is like the usual, as bad as my eyesight. ;P
The only thing still working is "touch". After all, my right arm suddenly swell badly because my friend touched me with her dirty hands. Sorry, they were dirty because of blood. =/ I forgotten that you are not supposed to simply touch blood!
Here's a news for you, I do not think I can ever upload a video ever again. I might try tomorrow morning but let's see if I have the strength, enthusiasm and patience to do so. Actually, that video might just be uploaded in advance for an event coming up in February. ;) Take a guess. =P
OK, gotta jet now. I was pretty engrossed in copying notes online that I forgotten I was blogging. Lol, look how nerdy and geeky I am. It suits my look too, unfortunately!
Take care and have fun, peeps~! ^^
Monday, January 3, 2011
Real Life ~ Ignorance Sometimes Ain't A Bliss
Woke up at 6AM. Yes, it's freaking early. About 3 hours earlier than the time I had been waking up at during the holidays. (>.<)
Prepared things in the morning and was a little late but I ain't the last member of bench group to reach there. Hehe... Little did I know I was sitting next to my soon-to-be wife classmate. She and I hardly spoke but I recall having good times with her last year. Funny how I can easily say last year. =S I desperately do not mind repeating the last 3 years even though they were hellish. Actually, being 14 years old is better in a way. Things were more convenient at that time. At the age of 13, I suffered all sorts of heartbreak. Ugh, I hated how it affected me but if not for it, I would not be the violin-crazed lover I am today. I even woke up from that dreadful childish dream I had.
As time passed by, the bench group came one by one. Pretty glad to see them.
Had a bit of a blast during the usual Monday gathering. Shit, I forgotten what you call those Monday gatherings! xD
We then went into the school hall to find out which class we got into. That's the moment we get to know how good fate is. Before that, teachers spoke on the microphone (mainly 1 teacher doing the talking) to tell grandmother stories. Actually, I do not find it that boring because I know I can easily be one of the main character in the stories, just different life. The teacher tried their/her best to make those of us who could not get into the class we want feel better, and that we are not to give up right there and then. We're not allowed to cry. =/ I remember wanting to spill some tears at that moment while being in the school hall. Luckily the tears were obedient enough to go back. The teacher said these things so that we won't feel like losers for being in the "last class".
After quite a long lecture, finally we got to know where we stand.
After knowing that one of my friends who got 6A's went into the last pure science class, I was certain that I stand no chance to be in it anymore. To be honest, I've been thinking about how tough life would be by being in pure science. Just by thinking about it, like last night, I realized that I do not have the brains or courage to do that. I am not tough enough to handle these hardships. I will die standing just by being in pure science.
Still, I occasionally listened whether my name was called out as the rest of the pure science class were given to the rest of the smarty pants. No such luck. I started losing hope because my second choice would be the sub-science with ICT. Sadly, that was the first class given out. They only opened one sub-science ICT class. I was bound to be doomed. They said that we can write letters to beg a place in whichever class we want.
More time passed as the rest of the classes were given out. Finally, I heard my name called. I am to be in a sub-science class meant for accounts. It would've been my third choice though I detest accounts, especially if it's not in the language of my preference. >=/ *pouts* (I seem to keep pouting lately, not just online, lol)
I am in the same class as my friend from the bench group whom I have just mentioned earlier. She was in the same class as my pianist friend (violinist friend's sister). xD You know what? I already know she's not someone I can rely on for comfort or anything. None of us should expect much from her. She is a person who cares mainly for herself. Only after that will she care for the rest. Of course she will care for her family first if compared to friends. Most of us would've been like that, right? People kept saying that family comes first. She will not wait for you when recess comes and she will not really say bye to you, let alone wait for you when school ends. I suppose this will definitely teach me to become even more independent. After all, that was my goal ever since God Knows when, was it not?
Especially last year or something, I decided that I should try living alone when I can manage financially. Then again, when I started helping out my mother with the house work during the holidays, I had a feeling that I should help my parents out even when I already have a stable job with stable income. Even if I went off to live alone, my mom would be left alone to do all the housework. Less work to do because 1 person gone, right? Not really because laundry can really multiply. My dad might still be working so he cannot help mom out. Seriously, who in hell would love doing house work if she'd done a lot to the extent of wanting to faint already? Some will feel relaxed for a moment but then they got so used to work that they tend to keep thinking of what to do because for their whole life, they had been too busy to do what they exactly want. In the end, that's about as far as I can plan. I do not know what job would I be doing to feel secured... =[
The babysitting did not work out even though it was a yes. I felt guilty that mom could not do anything to earn money because of me. The baby's father pitied the baby because he would have to be in the car so that my mom could fetch me in the afternoon back from school. If mom got a transporter for me plus the amount of work she had to do to care for the baby, it's not really worth the money anymore. The more reason why I cannot only praise myself if I succeeded in working life. I have everyone to thank for.
Back to the topic, my class's form teacher said that our class is to be ICT. I could hardly believe any of it. My friend believed and seemed not surprised at all. I could only wonder if I learn ICT tomorrow in school.
When mom called the school after we got home, they said our class is not but the other is ICT instead. Thanks to the confused school clerk, I am even more unsure this time. This proves that ignorance ain't always a bliss. I hate not knowing what is going on in this situation. Because of that, I do not know what my resolution is. I only have one for my violin even if it's pretty impossible to achieve within one year. It's not like Grade 1 anymore... Gah, life's never a bed of roses! Dx
Back at home, after knowing what the school clerk said, I wasn't sure if I should study what I learned today during Chemistry or whether I should be opening the books to use for the rest of the school year. I know the first part of the sentence I said after the comma should not be said but it was what that really went through my mind.
I still did my first homework. Practised violin at 4:30PM. Ended it at about 5:30PM. 1 hour... 2 hours used to seem like a big deal last year when school was still on. Last year, it seemed like I could do a lot in 1 hour. This time, the songs are not the same anymore. xD I only remember that I can play about 10 minutes and above of more than 10 songs without looking at the sheet music. Oh well. It does not mean I do not make mistakes. Sometimes my mind really wanders like a wandering soul. Lol.
Today, music became my refuge because after doing the work that had to be done for school, I suddenly had a strong urge to cry my eyeballs out. It started out pretty bad (the practice) because my feelings were shaky. After awhile, it got stable but every time I thought of crying, the mistakes came. Not long, I started paying attention. So much attention that I did not even realize since when my mom came up the stairs. This has actually happened for many times. Lately, I focus too much on the sound I play (always the perfectionist towards things like this, lol) that I cannot tell what's happening around me anymore. It's as if I am in a world of only the violin, the sheet music and I. When I close my eyes and play, sometimes I can really be in my own world that I forgotten who's actually playing the violin. Hehe. BUT, I can make mistakes even with eyes closed. xD
Finally I can play one song better because it required relaxed feeling. I was not that relaxed but I sought music for comfort to the extent that the song was soothing, even WITH mistakes! xD
For the first time, I dreaded playing that one particular happy song. I made the most mistakes for that song today. Usually, I made minor mistakes because of my muddled memory. Playing the romantic song was OK only. Knowing it was romantic, I did not really wanna turn it into a bittersweet-romance type of song. It would make the song too sad. Dx Using the Windows Media Player was not too useful because I rushed to end it at 5:30PM to watch the anime. Otherwise, I would be able to drag it to 6PM or something. Of course mom's face would not seem happy either but it would like last year. Lol. No one in my family ever seems to show a happy face when the subject of my beloved is brought up. =x At least I still get praises and round of applause from my dad and my violin teacher. No one else knows how to appreciate the fact that a person played that way in less than a year. T.T It's not that great but it's better than when I was a beginner. xD Hehe~
My friend who got 6A's (not the one in the other school) asked how violin was and not knowing what sort of answer she expected, I just said it was "Okay". xD She asked what Grade then the thought struck me, "Oh yeah, the grade, people just love to compare by grade than by the way you can play. I forgotten that people are usually like that towards music." She said it was fast to actually get to Grade 5. xD Not sure if she was genuinely surprised but oh well~ I do not wanna hear the truth! La Di Dum Di La~ xD
It would be great to get along with most of the classmates this year. Sadly, the guy who got the books with me during the holidays wanted to change class. I saw him took his form back to change class. I do wonder though, does he remember me at all? o.0 I can recognize a few faces but if you ask me how many out of them do I actually know, I only know 2. Lol...
Alright, 1 more hour to sleep. Gonna read manga while I still can! I only bothered to activate my RC. xD
Take care and have fun everyone~!^^
As time passed by, the bench group came one by one. Pretty glad to see them.
Had a bit of a blast during the usual Monday gathering. Shit, I forgotten what you call those Monday gatherings! xD
We then went into the school hall to find out which class we got into. That's the moment we get to know how good fate is. Before that, teachers spoke on the microphone (mainly 1 teacher doing the talking) to tell grandmother stories. Actually, I do not find it that boring because I know I can easily be one of the main character in the stories, just different life. The teacher tried their/her best to make those of us who could not get into the class we want feel better, and that we are not to give up right there and then. We're not allowed to cry. =/ I remember wanting to spill some tears at that moment while being in the school hall. Luckily the tears were obedient enough to go back. The teacher said these things so that we won't feel like losers for being in the "last class".
After quite a long lecture, finally we got to know where we stand.
After knowing that one of my friends who got 6A's went into the last pure science class, I was certain that I stand no chance to be in it anymore. To be honest, I've been thinking about how tough life would be by being in pure science. Just by thinking about it, like last night, I realized that I do not have the brains or courage to do that. I am not tough enough to handle these hardships. I will die standing just by being in pure science.
Still, I occasionally listened whether my name was called out as the rest of the pure science class were given to the rest of the smarty pants. No such luck. I started losing hope because my second choice would be the sub-science with ICT. Sadly, that was the first class given out. They only opened one sub-science ICT class. I was bound to be doomed. They said that we can write letters to beg a place in whichever class we want.
More time passed as the rest of the classes were given out. Finally, I heard my name called. I am to be in a sub-science class meant for accounts. It would've been my third choice though I detest accounts, especially if it's not in the language of my preference. >=/ *pouts* (I seem to keep pouting lately, not just online, lol)
I am in the same class as my friend from the bench group whom I have just mentioned earlier. She was in the same class as my pianist friend (violinist friend's sister). xD You know what? I already know she's not someone I can rely on for comfort or anything. None of us should expect much from her. She is a person who cares mainly for herself. Only after that will she care for the rest. Of course she will care for her family first if compared to friends. Most of us would've been like that, right? People kept saying that family comes first. She will not wait for you when recess comes and she will not really say bye to you, let alone wait for you when school ends. I suppose this will definitely teach me to become even more independent. After all, that was my goal ever since God Knows when, was it not?
Especially last year or something, I decided that I should try living alone when I can manage financially. Then again, when I started helping out my mother with the house work during the holidays, I had a feeling that I should help my parents out even when I already have a stable job with stable income. Even if I went off to live alone, my mom would be left alone to do all the housework. Less work to do because 1 person gone, right? Not really because laundry can really multiply. My dad might still be working so he cannot help mom out. Seriously, who in hell would love doing house work if she'd done a lot to the extent of wanting to faint already? Some will feel relaxed for a moment but then they got so used to work that they tend to keep thinking of what to do because for their whole life, they had been too busy to do what they exactly want. In the end, that's about as far as I can plan. I do not know what job would I be doing to feel secured... =[
The babysitting did not work out even though it was a yes. I felt guilty that mom could not do anything to earn money because of me. The baby's father pitied the baby because he would have to be in the car so that my mom could fetch me in the afternoon back from school. If mom got a transporter for me plus the amount of work she had to do to care for the baby, it's not really worth the money anymore. The more reason why I cannot only praise myself if I succeeded in working life. I have everyone to thank for.
Back to the topic, my class's form teacher said that our class is to be ICT. I could hardly believe any of it. My friend believed and seemed not surprised at all. I could only wonder if I learn ICT tomorrow in school.
When mom called the school after we got home, they said our class is not but the other is ICT instead. Thanks to the confused school clerk, I am even more unsure this time. This proves that ignorance ain't always a bliss. I hate not knowing what is going on in this situation. Because of that, I do not know what my resolution is. I only have one for my violin even if it's pretty impossible to achieve within one year. It's not like Grade 1 anymore... Gah, life's never a bed of roses! Dx
Back at home, after knowing what the school clerk said, I wasn't sure if I should study what I learned today during Chemistry or whether I should be opening the books to use for the rest of the school year. I know the first part of the sentence I said after the comma should not be said but it was what that really went through my mind.
I still did my first homework. Practised violin at 4:30PM. Ended it at about 5:30PM. 1 hour... 2 hours used to seem like a big deal last year when school was still on. Last year, it seemed like I could do a lot in 1 hour. This time, the songs are not the same anymore. xD I only remember that I can play about 10 minutes and above of more than 10 songs without looking at the sheet music. Oh well. It does not mean I do not make mistakes. Sometimes my mind really wanders like a wandering soul. Lol.
Today, music became my refuge because after doing the work that had to be done for school, I suddenly had a strong urge to cry my eyeballs out. It started out pretty bad (the practice) because my feelings were shaky. After awhile, it got stable but every time I thought of crying, the mistakes came. Not long, I started paying attention. So much attention that I did not even realize since when my mom came up the stairs. This has actually happened for many times. Lately, I focus too much on the sound I play (always the perfectionist towards things like this, lol) that I cannot tell what's happening around me anymore. It's as if I am in a world of only the violin, the sheet music and I. When I close my eyes and play, sometimes I can really be in my own world that I forgotten who's actually playing the violin. Hehe. BUT, I can make mistakes even with eyes closed. xD
Finally I can play one song better because it required relaxed feeling. I was not that relaxed but I sought music for comfort to the extent that the song was soothing, even WITH mistakes! xD
For the first time, I dreaded playing that one particular happy song. I made the most mistakes for that song today. Usually, I made minor mistakes because of my muddled memory. Playing the romantic song was OK only. Knowing it was romantic, I did not really wanna turn it into a bittersweet-romance type of song. It would make the song too sad. Dx Using the Windows Media Player was not too useful because I rushed to end it at 5:30PM to watch the anime. Otherwise, I would be able to drag it to 6PM or something. Of course mom's face would not seem happy either but it would like last year. Lol. No one in my family ever seems to show a happy face when the subject of my beloved is brought up. =x At least I still get praises and round of applause from my dad and my violin teacher. No one else knows how to appreciate the fact that a person played that way in less than a year. T.T It's not that great but it's better than when I was a beginner. xD Hehe~
My friend who got 6A's (not the one in the other school) asked how violin was and not knowing what sort of answer she expected, I just said it was "Okay". xD She asked what Grade then the thought struck me, "Oh yeah, the grade, people just love to compare by grade than by the way you can play. I forgotten that people are usually like that towards music." She said it was fast to actually get to Grade 5. xD Not sure if she was genuinely surprised but oh well~ I do not wanna hear the truth! La Di Dum Di La~ xD
It would be great to get along with most of the classmates this year. Sadly, the guy who got the books with me during the holidays wanted to change class. I saw him took his form back to change class. I do wonder though, does he remember me at all? o.0 I can recognize a few faces but if you ask me how many out of them do I actually know, I only know 2. Lol...
Alright, 1 more hour to sleep. Gonna read manga while I still can! I only bothered to activate my RC. xD
Take care and have fun everyone~!^^
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