Curious about the title? xD
Hehe, I just read my old diary. It's the first diary I've ever really bothered writing and keeping it up. =x
Good news (or not? Lol.), I spotted MANY retarded mistakes I made. Some were probably because I didn't realize at the time of writing and the others were what I really once thought were correct! xD I spelled "spaghetti", "talk", "especially" and other words wrongly. I'm still at the beginning of the diary but I just cannot STOP reading it! xD You know, there's this one mistake I can never mend and that is, I keep on having mistakes that I unintentionally make. It's not that I am THAT stupid enough to make the mistake but like this blog, I made ridiculous mistakes that even the Spell Check couldn't correct because it is imperfect. Haha.
I cannot help but remember those days after reading a few of the entries. It took me 5 years to finally realize that I've been betrayed by my "best friends" in elementary school! Lol. I'm SO dense! xD
I was 10 years old when I first started all these daily diary-writing thing. My parents bought me the book when I asked them. I guess the beautiful cover attracted me. xD It's blue in colour and has 2 fairies on the cover. =x There were words on the book but you know what? Even at the age of 10, I could recognize the mistakes they made. Haha! See? I am not THAT stupid (being desperate here now. Lol).
Since I am not reading the diary now, I am using a comb as a bookmark. Well, if you're wondering why, it's all thanks to my laziness. =D I am just TOO GODDAMN lazy to get a bookmark from my drawer. Lol.
Now that I get to see and relive those days once more, I realize that my life then was much more stressful because of the homework my mom gave me. Not only that, I was a VERY naive person. I was betrayed and lied to without knowing it until now. I was bullied too. =/ This post will be about my elementary school life. =P Yes, it's a grandma story even though I am not even a grandma! Haha.
In the year 1986... *snores*
Kidding, I am not THAT old.
Once upon a time... *snores and drools*
Oh sorry, I drooled all over the keyboard. Just joking.
The first entry was about not going to school. It seems like I was sick at that time. I haven't done all my homework and I also wrote that it was too bad I couldn't see a certain guy (uh-hum) and my best friend. Fine, I admit that I had a crush on someone. Yes, shoot me for saying that. I even added him on facebook this year without knowing how much stupid things I'd done in the past. Just to let you all know, I have forgotten a lot of things that I've gone through because I was determined to look on the bright sides of elementary school life. After graduating elementary school, I was hoping for a good change. High school would start and I would make sure I find a VERY trusting friend. Guess what? I am STILL being labeled "nerd" and I cannot get along THAT well with all my classmates. >.> The only thing that I fulfilled and actually done better than expected was that I got to make a big group of friends. Just like back in elementary school, I had this group. I just didn't appreciate it enough I guess...
I was a loud and arrogant in a way. It's not like I snubbed those who got lower marks that me. I was just stuck up in a way. I dunno how to explain that "arrogant' part but it's not like it's very bad. I was always VERY honest and ended up regretting it without knowing what was the cause of it in the first place. Haha...
Even though I was like that (it can be seen as obnoxious), I had more friends and got along better with everyone. You can say that I was a ridiculously weird person. I still am now but surely it has gotten better right? RIGHT? =[
As a 10-year-old, I lived a very boring and plain life. All school and homework. I had like NOTHING else to talk about. It was funny how I could still laugh and be happy. xD Man, if I really relived that kind of life again, I will be bored to tears! Other than school and homework, I talked about tuition and the meals I took. There are some interesting parts where I missed out as I grow older.
However, there's this one thing that I can NEVER forget. It was one of the worst day of my life then. The crush I told you about, well... He found out my feelings for him and of course he didn't accept it and that was the day I now only realized that I've been betrayed. It was a set-up done by my "best friends". They probably planned it and I was dumb enough to accept it. So one of my "best friends" who actually likes the same guy too told him to come over at the wrong time.
I do not feel like telling you what exactly happened. Sorry. Up till now, that was one of the many things that make me cringe whenever I remember back. I actually lied about one part in the diary. Maybe it's because I lied that's what that made me remember about it. I just remembered another thing that I lied about in the diary.
I wasn't honest to myself, I guess. I was too ashamed to write down my stupidity too! =[
Hehe, when I read the diary, it reminded me of an anime. I was like the main character (Sana) from "Kodocha no Omocha" or known as "Kodocha". It's not like my life was as perfect as the anime. My character was like hers: naive and innocent.
Loud, naive and innocent. Yeah, that's it. I said how I felt to the guy who sat beside me and didn't bother telling him why when he asked. xD It was all written in a paper, all these conversations.
Yes, we passed notes around the class. We all done that, okay? I have stopped already. Besides, I don't trust anyone to do the passing of papers for free. Lol. I bet they wanna read.
Even when I know that my "best friend" wanted to confess to him by passing a book (they wrote their message on the cover of the book), she passed the book to me so that I pass it to him, who sat behind the guy who sat beside me. That "best friend" sat in front of the guy beside me. Sometimes she change and pass it to the guy beside me to pass it over to her crush (also my crush). I didn't read ANY of the conversations at all while passing. xD Damn, why was I so loyal to her?
Even when I found a note that talked bad about me in my other "best friend's" pencil case. I just pretended I saw nothing and put it back in. She was watching me cautiously all the time. She was like, "You're not angry?" My answer was no and a smile. Huh, I know I was pretty hurt inside but I just didn't show it. After all, at that moment, she and I just became friends again.
That diary isn't my only one. I didn't stop until the year I graduate from elementary school. I did a bit of diary-writing during the first year of high school. Life was rough as a start of high school so expressing my feelings was very much needed. As for now, I have this blog to do the expressing. For the second year of high school, I wrote poems but was dumb and naive again so... don't ask.
I have a total of 4 diaries to read. xD Sigh, that's gonna take forever. Oh well, since I have no books thin enough to fit my bag when I go shopping, I might as well take my diary. xD
Where was I? Sorry, I keep talking crap. =/ It's a bad habit, isn't it?
There were many painful memories if you asked me... Ha, I even dared to say that my elementary school life was pretty great! xD
I even thought of returning to that life. Dx
Here's something you guys should know, if you don't believe me every time I say that I understand you, I actually don't mean it. LOL, just kidding! Of COURSE I mean it. To be honest, I've been like ALL sorts of people. I have been a gothic person, an emotional person (still am), an emo (not THAT serious), an idiot (still am), a carefree person. I've even purposely put myself into troubles before just to see people's reaction. Which is why, every time I say I did an experiment before, it's true because I was the lab rat and the one making a conclusion. xD
Alright, I have run out of words. I know I would've said more but I just cannot remember what I wanted to say.
Take care and have fun~! ^^
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