Hi again, people.
The reason for this title is because I rarely feel calm and that I am feeling pretty calm now though there are STILL many things running through my mind.
I am still OK with violin. Thank goodness. I think I know what are needed in order to play well. All I needed were enough rest, calm mind and not too much practice.
I did not do much practice today, to be honest. I started after 4:50PM when my phone rang as an alarm. I ended the practice at 5:39PM. I just calculated and found out that I only had 49 minutes of practice. Lol... I rushed through the easier songs halfway and played back after practising Gavotte a few times starting at 5:18PM.
I feel like playing it now. Not to make it one hour but for fun even though fun hardly run across my mind once I pick it up. Not saying I don't enjoy playing. It's just that I want it to be perfect so much to catch up with all those idols that I just cannot find time to put 'fun' and 'take your time' in my head. It's always 'accurate counting!', 'quiet/louder that part!', 'don't bounce the bow, play with more confidence!', 'hold that note longer!', 'it's an up-bow/down-bow!', 'more vibrato!'and 'hold that vibrato longer and make it consistent!'
I guess you can say it is very strict but it's not strict enough, I think. I should have a teacher always by my side when I am practising. =/ Haha, now that I've said it out loud, that means I am too serious yet not serious enough, which is bad for my studies. Damn.
I am still looking forward to playing the violin on YouTube! I will DEFINITELY cover my face with a little masquerade sort of mask. Just use those party masks to cover the eyes and top part of face. It would be enough. I do this because I do not want people to judge me because of what race I am. I do not want them to judge me because I am an Asian. I do not want them to judge me on how bad I look either. Clothes should be no problem so it does not matter. As for hair, I will still let it loose. Hopefully I am able to accept criticism very well. I will be playing every song. From the first song I played from the first violin book up until the current one at that time after the big exam.
Now I will be searching for that mask if I have the time. Of course I do not want a childish one. Lol. I will still try to focus on English, Maths, Science and maybe Survival Skills since my mom told me that I could get A for that if I just bothered to. I am damn worried more about Science than Maths now (Surprisingly). My Science is usually better than Maths but now I am worried about Science because when I was told to do the paper 2 of Science including all the things I've learned for 3 years, I had to flip through the reference book a lot and still ended up with many mistakes in the end. Mom was absolutely mad. xD She was thinking it was a mistake to not let me go for Science intensive class.
Mom definitely doesn't like me learning violin. When anything happens, the first thing she blames is violin. She was mad when dad let me learn. She was even more angry when she and I went for the replacement of violin class to find the whole music centre closed up. She started saying everything negative she thinks about music and violin. Damn her for that. Surely there are certain parts of my learning the violin that has made her pleased...? It's just that she is not looking on the bright side. Sometimes, I do wonder if it was the right decision to take up violin.
I noticed a big difference ever since I've started violin and playing songs:
I no longer read books on the couch for hours at certain times and I also no longer use the computer in the evening after the homework. I also started being aware of the time. I don't even dare to take afternoon nap even though I am dying to. I watched less of the TV and I started setting time to wake up at every weekends. Which means, I can no longer sleep at whatever time I want the day before weekends (Friday) and also, it means that I cannot wake up at whatever time I fancy anymore. I started having sudden earaches, arm aches, neck aches, jaw aches. My arm hurting is one of the most common. I have backaches too, which is like 24/7. xD I even started to care about cleanliness more. I always tried to make sure my hands are not dirty (particularly the left hand) so that the violin is clean and safe to hold every time I play (this is where I have to thank hives for!lol). Lastly, I take better care of my arms and fingers. This is excluding the time when I carelessly put the freaking hot test tube at the back of my left hand. The burnt mark is still there and will not go. Looks like a new scar. Sigh.
Oh, sorry, too much talk of violin again. You readers must have snored a lot by now.
I told you about my friend's birthday in the previous post, right? Well, I didn't want to say this but on that day, she told me that the present I gave her was stupid and could not match any of her clothes. Today, it was worse, she said that it was old-fashioned. It's so not. So I decided (not like I did not decide on the day of her birthday already) to never give presents anymore unless I am performing but depending on whose birthday and occasion. Yes, say whatever you want, I am sensitive or whatever...
Still, she did not have to be like that. Even my other friend did not appreciate the present she got last year. Damn. What is with all these people these days? This is the last straw! I give up. I am not going to give out anymore. After all, it'll save my time and money. >.>
Argh, I hate having to say those words! Oh well, whatever.
I am going to stop here for now because I suddenly just remembered something funny. xD
Take care and have fun~!^^
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