Real Life ~ Attached...

I felt REALLY depressed and down this morning until the time before recess. I felt horribly empty... That is because I missed my violin so dearly. No, she did not leave my side or anything. Nothing happened to her. =D

You see, on Thursday, my violinist friend brought her violin again to school. She, once again, got me to look after her violin for her. She allowed me to play. xD

Played after Physics class, which should be Moral class next. I just tried it out. I realized that I am not very good with the synthetic strings. My violin has steel strings (supposedly cheaper strings =/) so... that's the reason why I am not used to synthetic strings. Synthetic strings, I find, are softer to press but I cannot say that it's entirely easy to play with either. =x Psst, my violinist friend tortured her violin but I suppose it is tough enough to not get visibly damaged.

Last Saturday, my parents brought me to a shop specialized in violins. Well, that shop also provides violin lessons. xD The budget was 500 dollars (which is not really enough to upgrade, seriously) but they only have a 800 dollar violin as the cheapest one there. I did not like how it sounded because it was soft and I totally sucked at playing it. It's as if something possessed me and made me play worse than I already am. (>.<) Then, the guy selling let me try out the 3000 dollar(yes, 3 thousand dollars!) violin. Surprisingly, it sounds almost like my violin! LOL, I think the guy selling found it a little bit insulting when mom told him that's almost like my violin's current sound! xD My violin's voice is similar to a 3000 dollar violin? Get real, man! The bow he gave me to test out with was feather-light. =o With my slightly shivering hands, that feather-light bow did not help. xD All I am trying to say is that I am too attached to Autumn. I can NEVER play right when it comes to other violins. I feel that I should bond with the instrument first and take some time to get used to it before actually playing for real in front of others. Same goes to me needing warm-up before getting down to business. =/ It's a handicap, isn't it? (>.<) That has gotta be bad but it's better than me being the type of person who sees all violins being just violins. Nothing more. They're all the same. To be frank, I HATE to be that sort of person. I want to see every violin as an individual, one of a kind, like each having its own specialty.

Would be awesome to keep that attitude... Coz it sucks to be a hypocrite. ;P

So all the while I was in the shop, the thoughts "I am too attached to my own violin", "I want Autumn here now" and "Autumn is better than them" ran through my mind over and over. Can you call that faith? What about loyalty? Or is it me being naive and childish?

Gotta bring the violin collage I made last year again... Seriously need it to wake me up and cheer me up like how I badly needed it today. Dx

Today's practice was not productive at all when I stopped for a rest and it ended up being longer than 5 minutes. I sat there holding my violin with my left hand, balancing it on my lap while facebooking. Lol. I admit I do RC when I rest for awhile and that I do just sit there listening to the same songs again and again. Sometimes I rest and listen to new songs I have to learn or just songs that I can never play (or even sing).

Malaysia's Philharmonic Orchestra is doing the piece Piano Concerto No. 2 by Rachimanov / Rachimanoff... I am DYING to watch! I badly want to go. *pouts*

That orchestral piece ROCKS! Well, not Rock but it is kick-a$$! =D See those money sign? xD (Psst, it ain't no bad word. =x)

The ending of the practice was OK. I was hurting badly again when it came to "La Cumparsita" but I will NOT lose to that song! I want to remake a video on that song. =/ Not satisfied. I do not even dare to watch back my old video on that song. Lol. At least my teacher was OK with the video. Just rhythm problem, as usual. Dx

Tomorrow's the violin lesson. Hopefully I did not forget anything I learned throughout the whole week of practice. I actually became extremely blur when I practised today. It is as if the "violin-sick" (not home-sick) erased all those important things. o.0 That sucks. Lol. Important thing tomorrow is that I still have the energy to do a good vibrato tomorrow. I sound horrible when my fingers cannot do vibrato. That happens when I practised too much of vibrato the day before. I just practised a lot of that earlier during the practice. In fact, throughout the practice. Please let tomorrow be good!

Take care and have fun~!^^ I gotta go because my eye lids are gonna drop any moment. =P