I removed my cast 6 weeks after fracturing it on a Friday morning.
Ever since then, I was shocked to find out about more things.
Before I start this speech as a conclusion, I would like to mention how surprised I was to see that my fractured foot was not scaly or as terrifyingly flaky as my friends and grandmother told me to expect. When the doctor removed the cast, the skin was pretty dry, incredibly red and still swollen. I was told not to put too much weight on the foot yet so I still need to rely on the crutches to move about, much to my dismay. At the same time, I wished that my doctor had not given me false hope of being able to walk straight away. I have already guessed that I would need crutches. He said I did not need an X-ray and would be able to walk after removing the cast. Oh well, I was still glad to know I can start walking again without the cast getting in the way.
CORRECTION - one thing that shocked me the most was the pain of having to learn to walk again. When I failed to walk for the first week our of the 2 weeks I was given by the doctor, I was devastated! I had to literally learn to walk again. My walking was nothing but leaning to one side. Sometimes left and sometimes right since I have injured the right foot. I fractured the 5th metatarsal. The part near the little toe. You will not believe the pain after removing the cast. I was hoping that it would not hurt so much. I was terribly wrong because I realized that the cast was somewhat like a cocoon or something that's solid and able to protect. Maybe a shock-absorber instead of only keeping the bones in place.
It hardly hurt when the cast was on. Compared to the pain now that the cast is no longer on, I feel pain every single day. Oh well, it is nothing compared to what others have to go through. I will be getting on to that part later.
Starting my conclusion, I apologize first for being so long-winded!
From what I have learned throughout my recovery, I must admit that my eyes have finally been forced open a whole lot bigger.
I now know what it feels like to be an invalid. I am a temporary invalid as I should be able to walk one day, albeit probably not like one who has never fractured/broken (these two words mean the same thing, by the way) because I'll be stiffer than the rest. Anyways, as I was saying, I now know how it feels like to use the crutches and sitting in a wheelchair.
I have to admit that I absolutely LOATHE the attention! The stares, the mumblings, the looks of disgust, the laughing and the horrible looks I receive throughout the entire recovery were enough to completely shatter what little confidence and already low self-esteem I have left. I do not get why people find it so fascinating that someone needed crutches to walk or a wheelchair to move about. It is just so RUDE to stare! I have half the mind to give them a piece of my mind or stick a notice on the side of the wheelchair.
Sure, you may easily say not to give a damn about those load of garbage but for a person like me, it just was not as simple as that. I had hard time enjoying because I had no guts to look right back at them. I simply stared into space and forced a smile to show I am not mad at being in a wheelchair.
I have to say I did not enjoy needing to trouble people and depend on them. Bathing, wearing clothes, getting things, putting things back, bending down, sitting and other basic things we take for granted suddenly became a challenge. They became something so risky because I could have fallen down and added more injuries. Well, I actually DID fall down on my way getting to my classroom. People gathered around and made it a big deal but only a few actually bothered helping me get back up.
As I have said before from the previous post, this whole experience made me realize who are the truly kindhearted and compassionate people. So in this case, out in the public, I came to notice true human nature. More like I have gotten a glimpse of true human nature.
These things happened and they are not made up! My family and I went shopping. We were about to use a lift and other people wanted to use the lift as well. Thing is, the other person was on crutches because he only has one leg. I could see how selfish and inconsiderate a person could be when a normal guy with a pair of good legs insisted on riding the lift with us. He had a huge trolley with him. I was in a wheelchair and of course I cannot be pushed any further in than I already am so the other guy with one leg was unfortunately the one who had to give space... He almost fell backwards but his girlfriend (I think) supported him. I was incredibly pissed at the guy for going in with his trolley. He has eyes like us and good legs like the rest apart from the guy and I so what made him so dumb and blind that day?
We have so many physically normal people who are actually somewhat dumb and blind. I came to see how selfish people can get when recently, I went to another shopping complex. People had no patience that they barge into the lift without so much as batting an eye. Even knowing that an invalid who cannot be in crowds like them when getting in or out the lift, they insist on fighting with an invalid. I had almost been pushed down or tripped numerous times. It was not like I could not wait but the people kept appearing out of nowhere.
Barely a handful of people actually sympathize or understand. I know this may sound wrong but I am glad that I was not the only one in a wheelchair or with crutches. Needing these two things to help me move about made me realize how many others were going through the same thing as well. Most of them are senior citizens though. Only one disabled child was in a wheelchair. One young man was in a wheelchair. He looked totally fine to me. We saw one another in a bookshop. He looked up from his book and saw me. We smiled. I would like to think it was because it is comforting to know that we are not alone amongst the able people surrounding us who are unable to fully understand us. I have also seen 2 people with only one leg. They never sit in a wheelchair but use crutches instead.
All because of them not relying on wheelchairs, I truly admire them for their strength to carry on. Using crutches can truly hurt your armpits and skin. After one day of using it, my skin was extremely sore and red. So close to bleeding that it was then when I really want to say something to encourage them and express my admiration. They used the crutches like it was nothing and entirely normal. For those wheelchair-bound, I also want to express my admiration. They obviously did not ask for this kind of life but all or most of them conquered the rude stares that people cannot help giving.
For normal kids who can walk and are hyperactive like they usually are, they stood or sat in a trolley and actually got their parents to let them sit in a BIGGER trolley! They DO NOT NEED the trolley! They have good legs and need no assistance. Shame on them and the parents.
What with experiencing all of this, I learn that it is not always worth working too hard sometimes. I tried my best to improve myself and push myself to be someone I am not comfortable being. I rushed myself to complete every task thrown at me. I worry too much about what others think and do too much to be who they expect me to be. What did I get in the end? The subject I purposely stayed for after fracturing the foot in the morning did not help much because the teachers of those subjects I stayed for were the very ones who kept complaining about the classroom being moved downstairs and so on. I realized that they hardly care if I can no longer walk. They just wanted what was convenient for them to teach so that the students can do well and so that they won't lose their jobs nor have their 'image' tarnished. Whatever. Was it worth fracturing my foot and going through all these things for? No. NOT.AT.ALL! They are not even worth the medical fees my parents have to pay for!
I will still want to do all of the above things I learned not to do but I'll always have my fractured foot to remind me because it seems like even after recovering and being able to walk again, the pain will still be there time and time again. Besides, I may not be able to crouch nor run as fast as before.
So please, everyone, take very good care of yourselves and have fun at the same time WITHOUT injuring someone else - especially invalids. Remember none of us asked for these things to happen.
Also, I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes because I am getting incredibly tired now.
Take extra care and have fun again!
