Real Life ~ Regrettable Mistakes

HiHi Everyone, Today's Topic Is About "Regrettable Mistakes". Especially Lifetime Ones, The Ones That Make You Want To Cringe And Flinch From Thinking About It.

Regrettable Mistake:
I Still Can't Get Over The Fact That I Quit Piano Before. I Wished That My Mom Didn't Make Me Take Those Stupid Stressful Piano Exams. If She Didn't, I'd Probably Still Be Playing It, Just With A Higher Grade.^^ Now Every Night, I Can't Sleep Because I Keep Thinking Back About It And Regretting It Every Moment.

It Just Breaks My Heart A Lot About How I Never Noticed How Much I Loved Music Up Until Now. How Much Music Meant To Me. How Music Made Me Want To Get Involved With It And Make Music As Well.

I Also Spent Most Of The Time Thinking Back About Those Simple Piano Pieces That I've Played Before. It Was Fun And Exciting To Me, Especially Now As I Play Back Again With The Limited-Keys-Keyboard. It Was All New To Me Then, Every Single Note, When I Was Really Pure And Innocent, Just A Kid.

Now That I've Been Through Sorrow, Pain, Anger, Hardships Like Everyone Else Would In The End, Music Was What That Made Me Live On And Try To Become Stronger, Along With Great Advices From My Few Supporters.

So Many Times These Thoughts Crossed My Mind:
Why Didn't I Learn Violin In The First Place?
Why Didn't I Just Tell Mom I Didn't Want Piano Exams?
Why Didn't I Stay Strong And Never Quit Piano From The Start?
Why Did I Have To Take Those Scolding Seriously From The Stupid Piano Teachers? Why Was I So Obedient?

All Questions With The Word "WHY?".

Now Thinking Back, Music Is Meant To Be Shared And Enjoyed. Something That Makes You Feel Motivated, Sad, Angry, Happy... All Those Feelings Depending On A Song. Music Is Something That Helps You To "Talk" If Words Can't Be Described Or Phrased Well.

My Little Cousin Brother Is Starting To Learn Piano. He's 10 Years Old. That Was The Age I Stopped The Piano At. I Know I Have NO Rights Whatsoever To Say This But Now That He Has Chosen The Piano, He Should Stick To It And NEVER Repeat My Mistakes And Regret Like Me In The End Because It Is Depressing. Not To Mention, Hard To Take.

I Feel Jealous But I Am Still REALLY Happy For Him That He Loves The Piano And Wants To Take The Initiative To Learn It. I Mean It, Reader(s). I Really AM Happy For Him. In Fact, Excited For Him.

Lolz, Here's Something Quite Unfair. My Parents Know I Love The Violin And Want To Learn It, Proving Really Hard That I Ain't Gonna Give It Up Halfway, Yet They Don't Seem To Be Excited Or Happy For Me. It Seems That They Don't Really Like Violins Because It's Meant For Mostly Sad Songs. Well, The Fact That It's Meant For Sad Songs Is One Of The Reasons Why I LOVE Violins. Haha. It Just Helps Me Express The Feelings I Feel Inside In Replace Of Words. The Unfair Part I Meant Was That Little Cousin Brother Wanted To Learn Piano And His Dad Bought It Right Away Along With Piano Lessons! I Mean, Come On! Why Can't My Parents Trust Me Like His Parents (Little Cousin Brother's Parents) Trust Him?

Was It Because I've Quit Piano The Last Time? I Know That It's Understandable To Not Trust Me But It Still Hurts My Feelings When They Don't!

When My Mom And I Visited Them The Other Day, It Was Quite Horrible. The Non-Horrible Part Was That I Could Still Play Card Games And Bingo With Little Cousin Bro Happily. The Horrible Part Was When The Adults Start Talking Right In Front Of Us As if We Can't Understand What They're Talking About. They talked About Piano And Violin.

It Seemed Like A Harmless Topic, Right? Actually, It IS DAMN HARMFUL!

They Made Me Feel A Billion Times Bad When They Said What A Waste it Was For Me to Quit Piano Right When I've Just Completed Grade 3, The Money Mom Wasted On To Pay For The Piano Itself, The Piano lesson Fees, The Tuning Fees... All The Money Went Down The Drain When it Could Be Used For Something Else if I hadn't Learned Piano In The First Place.

I ALREADY Am Very Aware Of The Big Wastage But They Didn't have to Yak About It Right In Front Of Me And My Cousin Brother! I Had The Strong Tendency To Jump Off A Building During Their Conversations.

Instead, I Endured Them Pitifully.

The WORST Part Was When My Grandma Asked me Why I Quit Piano. I Think I Replied About how I Didn't Like Piano That Much At That Time. She Spoke To Me In Chinese So I Had problems Constructing Sentences. I Wasn't Done With My Explanation When She Started Off Firing Accusations And Insults At Me.

Goddamit! For Heaven's Sake, I Really WASN'T DONE TALKING YET! ARGH! That Pisses me Off Every Time!

It Was More Infuriating When Uncle, Mom, Cousin brother And Grandpa Were There! They Saw Me Being Snubbed By My Own Grandma Without A Word of Defense. Eff It All, Man! What The Hell, I Ask you!

They Started Off Saying One of The other Uncles Also Once Learned Violin By Himself Then Gave up In The End Because it Was Too Tough. URGH! *Grumbles Irritably*

Would They Stop Saying How Tough it Is Compared To Piano?! It's Discouraging People! GRRRRRRR!!!!!

Even After Complaining To My Heart's Content Here, I Don't Feel relieved At All Like usual. I Am STILL In A Bad Mood.

I Feel hurt When My parents Said They Decline Coming To My Mini Piano Concerto In My Room. >.< I Especially Practiced A Lot On The Song That I Composed On My Own... T.T

It Hurts Me A Lot Too When They Said How Loud The Piano Was And They Already heard But Do They Know From Which part Was The Song From At All? Definitely Not!

Everything Sux. The Reason I'm Complaining Here Now On My Blog Is That I Can't Think Up of Another Song To Compose.

Thought Of reading Manga to "Share" Pain With Them. xD Lolz. This Phrase Doesn't Sound Right. Haha.

Sorry For Droning On And On About The Regret, Reader(s). Please understand.

Have Fun And Take Care Then, Everyone~!

Real Life ~ MangaFox

Uwaaa! I Tried Getting Into MangaFox Today Like Usual To Read A Manga But No Matter How I Tried, NOTHING Works!

I Disconnected Line And Everything But Failed To Get To MangaFox...

When I Asked My Friend, She Also Said She Had The Same Problem Today.

She And I Had No Choice But To Search For Our Manga At OneManga.

Here's A Bad News, OneManga Doesn't Have As Many Chapters As MangaFox Does For The Certain Manga I Was Reading.

Hopefully It Will Be Fine By Tomorrow~

Don't Worry, I'm Not Gonna Complain About This, This Time, That Is. Haha.

Have Fun And Take Care, Everyone~!^^